Eric Mangini Is a Genius: The Mangini Plan

Cleveland Brown Coach Eric Mangini is a genius.

It is extremely hard to annoy and antagonize an owner to such an extent that he rather fire you and pay you millions to stay home.

It's even harder to do that in the first year of a contract.

And its harder to get fired in back to back years as head coach but Mangini might do just that if The Brown's blow him out of the water a year after he crashed the New York Jets.

Maybe Mangini has a plan after all?

One and done ain't no fun for an owner. Those old boys like their greenbacks to grow in their bank accounts. Its the nature of the beast.

I mean look how long owners left confused Rich Kotite roam the sideline sans an offensive clue.

A man has to above and beyond the pain in the butt meter to be knocked off after one year.

Call it the Les Steckel Effect in honor of the old marine who ran a Minnesota Viking boot camp and was booted after but a year.

The Full Metal Jacket Training Camp was not a hit in Viking land so Les was let go and the mellow Bug Grant was brought back.

But today canned coaches go right on the television talking tour.

Who would not want to collect millions to sit home on a couch or else sit on a seat on ESPN channel 190 and babble, babble, babble about tight ends?

The only better gig is to be a busted banker who broke the bank, got bailed out, and bounced back for a big bonus the next year for breaking the bank.

As Don King says Only in America!

But look how relaxed Brian Billick and Jon Gruden look kicking back and babbling about second down draws and bemoaning the referees incompetence without drawing a fine from the cranky commissioner.

Those old fired coaches are still collecting contracts from the teams that canned them and they landed cushy broadcast booth babble jobs.

It's a great job if you can get it.

Billick, who could never develop a quarterback in Baltimore, now gets big bucks to bicker about there every interception.

And his Super Bowl quarterback Trent Difler, the only starting quarterback from a Super Bowl  ever cut before training camp the next season, gets paid to rate and ramble on about quarterback play.

Billick and Difler, the worst quarterback to ever win a ring, could never score much in Baltimore but they have scored big bucks, and evolved into offensive ESPN experts, after shuffling off the gridiron.

Most likely the Mangini personality disorder will prevent him from ever landing a television talking head job.

His personality ranges somewhere between the demented General Jack D Ripper in Doctor Stranglelove and the mad Roman Emperor Nero.

Mangini can't do touchy feely Chris Berman babble stuff.

Talking head Mike Ditka always seems a bit insane but at least he is semi likable in a mean, mad drunken uncle who could never coach an offense kind of way. And he was a Hall of Fame player and once stood on the sidelines watching the Chicago Bears win the Super Bowl.

Mangini has not done much but tattle on his boss Bill Belichick, and alienate his players, fans, and the media. He has also done very well collecting ex Jets and sending the Jets players and draft picks. 

Maybe secret quarterback selection will take off like the West Coast Offense or fans will dig coaches who whine and complain about the Detroit Lions, of all teams, cheating.

But when a coach is complaining about the dreadful Detroit Lions cheating, well, the wheels might have come off.

Still if the wheels have come off, if Mangini of the Sopranos is about to whacked, at the least he has made enough millions, by failing before forty, to fallback on forever.

And perhaps that was the plan.

Maybe Mangini is a genius not a mad man.

And his coaching pal Charlie Weis, also collecting a sweet buy out, ought to be available for golf.

Perhaps Romeo Crennel can make it an ex Patriot threesome.

It's a wonderful life.

And a great gig if you can land it.