Breaking LeBron James' Personal Free Agency Media Silence

So, LeBron James, you're done talking about your impending 2010 free agency  for the rest of this season?

Well, I'm sure not.  And because I'm not, and because I'm thinking about how sweet you'd look in a 76ers jersey next year, I've decided to take some drastic measures.

I'm going to over-analyze the few things you did say before your self-imposed media silence.

After his only game in Madison Square Garden this season, a 100-91 Cavaliers victory over the New York Knicks in which he finished with 33 points, nine rebounds, and eight assists, the King naturally received about becoming a free agent next year.  The Knicks have been frequently mentioned by the media as a potential landing spot for LeBron, despite their current lack of championship-caliber talent.

With that in mind, let's break down the King's postgame comments:

When asked what he plans on doing upon becoming a free agent on July 1, 2010, LeBron replied:

LBJ: "I don't know because it's the first time I'll be in this position, being an unrestricted free agent. I haven't been there yet, so I don't know.  There's no timetable. I'm not going to rush it, I'm definitely going to stay in shape and stay in the gym next summer like I've always done and we'll see what happens."

Translation: I'm not Carlos Boozer here.  Teams are going to be lining up with max contract offers ready to go, months in advance.  But...

LBJ: "I think at the end of the day, a max deal or anything like that doesn't really matter to me. It's all about winning for me, so I'm going to put myself in a position when that day comes next summer.

 "I want to win, and if I feel like the team is capable of winning, then I make my decision like that."

Translation : Let's be honest...I'm LeBron James.  I have a diamond toilet.  And a swimming pool filled with money.

I don't need a full max contract.  I'd much rather sign for a little bit less if it means playing alongside a legitimate superstar for once in my career.  Don't get me wrong, the Olympics are great and all...but I'd like to play with another superstar more than once every four years.

And besides, I'll make that extra $5 million up with one endorsement deal alone!  It's great to be the King.  

Oh, P.S.: I sure as hell ain't signing with a team that's gonna make me play one-on-five like Cleveland does all the time.  I want teammates that can actually help me win games occasionally.

LBJ: "I don't know who made the schedule for the Cleveland Cavaliers to only be [at Madison Square Garden] once, I'm kind of disappointed in that."

Translation:   That sound you hear?  That's the sound of 100,000 Cavaliers fans collectively jumping off the nearest bridge.  

What can I say?  I might be from Cleveland...but New York's my second home.  Now where's Derek Jeter?  We're supposed to go on a "couples' dinner" later...

LeBron did come back three days later to clarify his position on a max contract:

LBJ: "Let's get this clear: I said the max contract doesn't mean more than winning.  I didn't say 'I don't need a max contract' or 'I'm not going to get a max contract.' All I'm saying is that winning is more important to me than money at the end of the day."

Translation: Everything I said about that max contract?  Well...it better be a damn good team for me to sign for less.  If you think you're signing me for less than max, you better start working the phones to D-Wade's agent now...

But finally, on Wed., Nov. 11, five days after making his original comments on free agency, LeBron pulled the rug out from under anyone who wanted to spend their next nine months hanging onto his every word:

LBJ: This free agent talk is getting old. It's getting old and I think I'm going to stop. Tonight will be the last time I answer any more free agent questions until the offseason."

"I think I owe it to myself, and I owe it to my teammates. It's just getting old. I'm focusing on this season, and this is going to be a really good season for us. I don't want anymore distractions for my teammates, for my organization, for my family. This will be the last time I answer a free agent question for the rest of the year."

Translation:   People only want to talk about two things this season—my free agency and what's wrong with the Cavs.  Oh, and whether or not the Shaq trade was a mistake.  We won 66 games last year.  I know we lost in the Eastern Finals, but...really?

Time to get the zoo out of here until next year.  Sorry, fellas.

No, I don't already know where I'm going next year...this season isn't even over yet.  Let's wait to see which team can hose Chris Wallace into trading the Grizzlies' best player for 40 cents on the dollar this year before I make any big decisions.  

But seriously...if you think I'm going to the Knicks or the Nets with the way they've been playing this season?  Uh.  I'll see you in Neverland.

Don't worry, reporters...you can still interview Shaq.  He's good for something print-worthy every time he opens his mouth.

I mean, did you see "Shaq vs."?

And there you have it.  LeBron James, ladies and gentlemen.  May the LeBron 2010 Sweepstakes begin...get your checkbooks ready.