November Nightmares: College Football's Worst Of The Week That Was

To quote a deranged Denny Green Notre Dame is what we thought they were; not very good.

Undersized Navy has blown the Irish out of the water two out of the last three years. Not since bumbling Jerry Faust surrendered annually to the Air Force has Notre Dame done so much for our armed forces morale.

Still losing to Navy twice in three years, considering Navy had not beaten Motre Dame before Weis since Roger Staubach was at quarterback and John F Kennedy was going to games, is no mean feat.

What does that say about Charlie Weis?

Navy was, after all, trumped by Temple last week.

At least the Irish can leave the room when all the BCS babble begins.

And after the Irish lose to Pitt and Stanford what bowl will want them?

And will the Sydney Greenstreet of South Bend be saying so long or will it be a long goodbye for the Weis one?

The worst of the week.

1] Notre Dame: Since 1980 Notre Dame has hired Gerry Faust, Lou Holtz, Bob Davie, George O'Leary, Tyrone Willingham, the immortal Kent Baer, and Charlie Weis.

And Dan Devine was not not so divine either. Benching Joe Montana for the legandery Rusty Lisch has to be an all time Irish moment.

Aside from Lou Holtz what a wondeful mess! Who hires these guys, Doctor Evil?

Or does the Notre Dame brain trust down a big batch of Harp and throw darts at paper clippings to see who they pick?

Or is it all an evil plan hatched by Notre Dame hating sleeper cells buried deep with in South Bend?

Something is very wrong here.

2] Penn State

Why is it the quarterbacks seem to get worse the longer they stay in State College?

Is it just tradition to trot out terrible quarterbacks in bad games or it the old head coach man hiring his son to coach the quartbacks?

Either since 2000 The Nits are 6-16 against Ohio State, Michigan, and Iowa.

And when was the last quality win by the Lions outside the Big Ten?

We ARE MEDIOCRE!

3] Florida State

This seems like elderly abuse picking on Paterno and Bobby Bowden back to back but the old geezer fell hard off their walkers this week.

Why did the Seminoles stop playing defense this year?

Can't Bowden and Paterno settle this All Time Win thing with pistols, swords, or knives?

The ACC has less cake games then the Big Ten and the Lions out of conference schedule is always pathetic so, baring an unforeseen event, Paterno should still pull away from his old buddy Bobby.

3] Mike Williams, ex-Syracuse wide receiver

A very good player on a bad team Williams, who was suspended for academic reasons last year, quit the team this week.

Williams had a shot at being a late first round or second round pick but his immature quick quit on the season might cost him millions.

4] Conference officials

Their league sign the referees checks. The leagues want their team in the big BCS title game so they can make a bundle of bucks.

So when one sees biased  officiating, whether in the SEC, Big Ten or Big East, favoring the undefeated conference team that can carry their conference banner the furthest one wonders is their an unseen agenda?

I'm not a conspiracy nut, except for those JFK bullets, but when the yellow flags fly right before our eyes each week it makes a man wonder and shout in his man cave.

Hey what are those zebras doing on the Grassy Knoll anyway?

5] South Carolina

The ole ball coach looks more like the painfully constipated Ole Ball coach each week.

Its no fun being the whipped weak sister of the wicked SEC and the Ole Coach is learning the hard way that weak sisters wear down.

6] Washington State

Mister Murphy once said things can only get worse and they will.

The only way it gets worse of Washington State is if they hire Willingham so he can take that one, lonely win away.

7] Oklahoma

Can we, at long last, take Big Game Bob out of the top twenty now?

8] Win-less in Western Kentucky

If the Hilltoppers season was a fight it would be stopped.

No Mas! Throw in the towel! Turn out the Lights the Party's over.

Down goes Big Red! Down goes Big Red! The Grimace gone red half mad mascot must be held on the hill top.

9] New Mexico

Mister Murphy's law will be proved as the losing Lobos and their loco left hooking coach Mike Locksley have to face two top 25 teams, BYU and TCU, in the next three weeks.

Still the Lobos, losers of twelve straight games, only have to lose ten more in row to break the school record.

Locksley hopes to land the first pick in next years draft anyway.

And he has plans to fight Tom Cable in a Christmas Pay Per View MMA match.

10]Football in Missouri

Tigers, Rams, and Chiefs Oh My!

Isn't football sad in the Show Me State?

11] Rice Owls

The Owls are giving up an average of 54 points a game the last three weeks.

Outstanding!

12] Maryland

The rest of the ACC is rapidly improving but the Terps are being made into a tasty soup each and every week.

13] Colorado

When does the Hawkins and son show get canceled in Colorado?

14] Ron Zook

One can't stop Ron Zook one can only hope to slow him down.

15] Charlie Weis

So bad he gets listed twice.