Classless Week 8 Predictions!! The Haiku Vs. The Freeflowing Rhyme

Jaded – 59-27

Indignant – 49-37

Indignant: After my dominating performance last week when using the Seinfeld quote meme for making my picks I’ve decided I needed another gimmick to keep up my momentum. Being that I am quite the literary and artistic genius I decided I would write a poem in the form of a Haiku to represent my predictions for each of this week’s games. (For those of you who skipped the 3rd grade, a Haiku is a classical Japanese form of poetry combining 3 lines with 5, 7, and 5 syllables respectively.)

Jaded:  I’ve never been a fan of Haiku’s, they’re too structured for me and I hate counting.  I’ve always likes generic rhyming poetry better, so I decided to counter Indignant’s structure with my own and leave it up to the BR community to figure out which they like better.  (Yep, it’s a slow week…)


Broncos (6-0) @ Ravens (3-3)
Indignant:
The Broncos won’t lose
Balt’s D not what it once was
Mcdaniels fist Pump (Broncos)

Jaded: 
Are the Broncos really that good?
Does their power come from Josh’s hood?
Raven’s schedule has been nuts, all have agreed
Off the bye, at home, this game they need.  (Ravens)
 

Texans (4-3) @ Bills (3-4)
Indignant:
Schaub’s been top-5 guy
Houston’s Weapons prove too much
T.O. cries again (Texans)

Jaded: 
Fitz’ luck of the Irish, just will not matter
Nor will all of TO’s chatter
Andre’s playing, even he said so
The Texans are for realz YO!!!! (I hate myself for that)  (Texans)


49ers (3-3) @ Colts (6-0)
Indignant:
Maybe Smith’s not bust?
Won’t matter, Colts are too good
Like 9ers with points (Colts)

Jaded:
Well, it’s back to Smith, the number one pick
And suddenly Singletary is less of a prick
He got where he was by being mean
Now he looks soft, and gentle, and clean? (Colts)


Dolphins (2-4) @ Jets (4-3)
Indignant:
Would Rex sit Sanchez,
For not sharing that hot dog?
Weiner lovers win (Jets)

Jaded:
Roses are red and violets are blue
I still love me some Sanchez, and his receivers too
I’m pretty obsessed, just call me Mariah
And no, Ricky Williams is not the Messiah (Jets)


Rams (0-7) @ Lions (1-5)
Indignant:
Like fight between cripples
Rams best chance for win this year
Worst snoozer on turf. (Lions)

Jaded:
T.I. is in prison, Weezy’s going too
It’s Dr Jaded’s time, I’m ‘bout to break through
Ain’t nothing to spit about, when it comes to this game
Might as well take this chance so you remember my name (Lions)

Browns (1-6) @ Bears (3-3)
Indignant:
Mangenius? Guess not
Cutler’s emo hair cut’s gay
Hope Bradford Likes Orange (Bears)

Jaded:
They need some motivation in the C-L-E
The Cavs, Browns, and In’juns all look like debris
“Just win three games,” the owner should preach
Who am I kidding?  Even that’s a reach (Bears)


Seahawks (2-4) @ Cowboys (4-2)
Indignant:
‘Boys looked good last week
Two enigmatic teams meet
Seahawks get Miles Austin’d (Cowboys)

Jaded:
So wait, Dallas has a stud with a last name of Austin?
Nothing rhymes with that, so I’m just gonna say ‘Boston’
How has Jerry Jones not married this dude?
A namesake in Dallas puts Jerry in a very happy mood. (Cowboys)


Giants (5-2) @ Eagles (4-2)
Indignant:
Both teams trending down
Jackson is difference maker
Lil’ Eli no likey cold (Eagles)

Jaded:
Oh Eli, Oh Eli, you breathe from your mouth
It makes me so happy, I feel it down south
Speaking of warm and forbidden places
When it’s cold you throw picks, and then it’s off to the races (Giants)


Raiders (2-5) @ Chargers (3-3)
Indignant:
We are seeing LT’s death
When Chargers don’t win 9 games,
Merriman chokes Norv (Chargers)

Jaded:
'Cause I've got friends in low places
Where the whiskey drowns
And the beer chases my blues away
And I'll be okay

…Sorry, I was trying to comfort Norv (Chargers)


Jaguars (3-3) @ Titans (0-6)
Indignant:
Owner wants Vince starting
Titans still kings of suckville
Garrard throws all day (Jags)

Jaded:
The corners are terrible, but so is VY
Get ready, Mr. Fisher, you’re gonna need some K-Y
You’ve had six winning seasons, in sixteen damned tries
Its Shanahan time, as your owner should upsize (Titans – they have to win at some point, right?)



Vikings (6-1) @ Packers (4-2)
Indignant:
Favre back to tundra
Homecomings always let down
Blue balls are certain (Packers)

Jaded:
Halloween is scary, at least it should be
If you’re Aaron Rodgers your o-line puts you on a tee
Memories from last time make Aaron wet his bed by the gallon
“Tundra Turf, meet Mr. Rodgers, I’m Jared Freakin’ Allen” (Vikings)



Panthers (2-4) @ Cardinals (4-2)
Indignant:
Life’s got few sure shots
Don’t get scared, just remember
Delhomme will throw picks (Cardinals)

Jaded:
Take off your mask Jake, this crap’s gotta cease
It’s Arizona again and they started your streak
Just pretend you’re not old and forget about psych
Else it’ll be YOUR nose broken with Steve Smith’s next strike (Cardinals)


Falcons (4-2) @ Saints (6-0)
Indignant:
Falcon’s might be frauds
Saints showed grit matches talent
Pick’em ‘till they lose (Saints)

Jaded:
The Saints are realllll good, we realize this now
But they can’t win forever, it’s just not allowed
I’ll still probably pick you, and add to your streak
But I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that Reggis Bush is a damned freak (Saints)