Larry's Losers in the SEC: Week Nine

This week the Little Smart Pill Machine just outsmarted itself. We've been missing one game every week that we didn't see coming, so we picked the one game that COULD mess us up, and just picked it. Naturally we missed it, so this week we're going with the old formula without the upset bug ingredient.

The season average now sits at 47-11, and still hovers around 77.5 percent. There always seems to be a fly in the ointment, or as Bacardi says a flea on every pretty dog, but this week is the week it's finally all coming together. I can just feel it.

Eastern Michigan at Arkansas

Last week Houston Nutt welcomed his old team home and slopped the hogs once more. Uh I mean, slapped the hogs.

This week they got some Eagle's flyin' South for a little migration, but these Rebels aim to treat them like prize pullets and deep fry a few of them. Since this directional Michigan school hasn't sniffed a win all season, there's no reason to believe it will start this weekend.

The feathers are gonna fly, and the ones that don't get deep fried will have so much pluckin' they'll have to hitch hike back home. Larry's loser—Eastern Michigan

Auburn at Ole Miss

Gene Chizik and his friendly felines have been acting a lot like that Tigger that's friends with Winnie the Poo. They've been bouncing. What had been upward bounce earlier in the season is now a downward free fall, and they hope to exploit the Rebels for a little comeback to the win column.

Houston Nutt knows all about up and down too this season, and hope to be going back the opposite way of the Tigers this weekend. In the end, we'll find out the pre-season thoughts were a little justified after all with Larry's loser being Auburn.

Florida and Georgia at the Jacksonville Cocktail Party

The Gators come into Jacksonville still nursing some dog bites from last Saturday's tussle with this same breed. The brother bulldogs from Starkville put a scare in the mighty Gators and got some big bites on the Florida quarterback who looked more like a t-bone than a Tebow to those dogs.

Bein' the big brother bulldog in the SEC, these dogs are hopin' to finish the meal the other dogs started. But though they're the big brother, they may not have quite as stout a defense.

When the final whistle blows, somebody better have the number of ASPCA, because there's liable to be more cruelty to animals as Tebow and company will severely punch some pooches. Larry's loser—Georgia

Kentucky at Mississippi State

Another cat and dog fight, and despite Bacardi's protest yet again, the smart pill machine says I better not be swayed.

The doormat dogs from Starkville raised a ruckus against one of the biggest names in football last week before being finally collared, leashed and led down the path of defeat yet again. This week they hope to be one left raisin' their leg on the other one at the closing whistle.

But Kentucky can score some points, and has a pretty fair defense of their own, not to mention they are playin' for post season play that's not gonna come the dog's way. So Larry's loser will be Mississippi State.

LSU at Tulane

I'm old enough to remember when this game could be a real good one. However, this green wave resembles more the variety that comes from the throat of an over inebriated New Orleans light weight, than what it's supposed to represent.

After what Les Miles did to a fairly decent Auburn team last week, this might as well be a bye week as the Bengals treat their fellow Cajuns to an old fashioned woodshed thumpin'...Larry's loser, as bad as LSU wants to make it, Tulane.

South Carolina at Tennessee

The Old Ball Coach has turned into quite a chicken fighter. His prized pullets have pecked their way to contention for a good post season bowl, and don't plan to have a bunch of Volunteers stand in their way.

Lane Kiffin has proven that his boys have heart and won't quit with their game last week against the No. 1 team in the nation. And they figure that if they can come with two seconds and a field goal against them, they can sure give these Carolina boys a good pluckin'.

The little smart pill machine has no compunction in saying that the Big Orange can't play with that much passion two weeks in a row and just like last week, the Vols come up a few points too short. Larry's loser—Tennessee

Georgia Tech at Vanderbilt

With their bowl game hopes sinking right along with Commodores own ship, they are hopin' to at least make a statement for the SEC by laying a trap for one of the ACC's better teams.

Georgia Tech may have been upset this year and got their stingers bent, but they figure it won't take many stings to have these sailors jump in the water to avoid more, and I believe they're right.

So with this week's pics in the old computer it's time to head to the Tiki Bar and seek out a little libation. Get my slippers Bacardi and I'll share one with you!

Until next week...