News hit on Monday that the beer vendors inside of FedEx Field were standing inside the bathrooms selling beer to peers.
A Redskins fan caught the beer vendor on camera standing inside the bathroom. Whether the fan was bothered more by the vendor or by his teams play is yet to be determined, but nevertheless the story has been released.
Personally, I wouldn't mind the bladder-refilling purchase so close to the bladder-emptying process. This seems like a very efficient way of ingesting as much alcohol as possible for the duration of a football game.
However, there were some people disgusted with this.
How many people bring their beers into the bathroom anyways?
Further, it wasn't like the beer vendor was passing bottles under stall doors or anything. Dude was just standing near the door, being your first temptation to increase your blood alcohol content. That's just good business sense.
This whole situation did get me thinking, where else would I be willing to buy beer? Not just that, but where else do I think I need to be able to buy beer?
Let's start with the obvious...
1. At college football games, specifically Florida Gator games.
This is an outrage. The University of Florida campus is considered a "dry campus," and since the stadium is on campus, beer vending is not allowed.
However, step outside the stadium and walk up to any parked car or truck with people standing around and there is a 99.9999 percent chance that they have beer.
Why the paradox? The necessary lift of the "dry campus" tag for tailgating is deemed unnecessary for inside the stadium. I don't see the difference and am surprised at the level of support for a "dry campus" in general.
Game time is a wonderful drinking time, but why start there? I'm thinking we also need to be able to buy beer...
2. Waiting in line to get into the stadium
This goes for theme parks and concerts as well.
What better way to blow through the boredom of standing in a back-to-chest cluster than to buy some beer and elbow four people every time you take a sip?
Sounds like fun to me. You can even make drinking games out of this. Every time you move four inches, take a swig! Every time a person is turned away for entering the wrong gate, finish your beer! Beer Guy, I need another!
Now were getting somewhere. Somewhere magical. Still, I feel like I should be good and buzzed before this, so how about getting beer...
3. At breakfast restaurants, without being judged.
I mean, c'mon, this should be a no-brainer for any breakfast establishment that is open 24/7, or any breakfast place located in, near, or within reasonable driving distance to a sporting town.
I want to be able to go out on Friday night, be hammered, get the breakfast munchies, go to IHOP, and continue drinking while I eat delicious pancakes.
This would also open up a whole new marketing campaign. "Kick start your tailgating with a cold one while enjoying your Grand Slam!" Tell me that wouldn't work. You are a liar.
Of course, there is always pregaming before you go out to your favorite bar, but what about getting beer...
4. From the hotel clerk, while checking in.
You just finished a long drive. You didn't want to stop when you got off the highway because the car was starting to mock you for having muscles that get sore (stupid machines). You pull up to the hotel, grab your bags and walk in to the lobby.
And there's beer! Hoo-ray beer!
I feel like if I opened a hotel with a couple of taps behind the check-in counter, I would get nothing but five-star reviews on hotels.com.
Speaking of that long drive, I'd be in favor of breaking it up by being able to buy beer...
5. At toll booths or in heavy traffic.
Now, with the current DUI laws (and common sense), the driver will not be able to benefit from these sales, but they can certainly be the spotter for an I-Spy drinking game!
Just don't get caught on camera.