The Indescribable Trials of a Browns Fan

Over the years, a lot has been learned about players, teams, and organizations in post game interviews.

We have learned that the Bears, in fact, are who we thought they were; we have heard that Kellen Winslow is a soldier, that’s my quarterback, and we as Cleveland fans were truly inspired by Romeo Crennel’s words of wisdom: if we win, we're gonna’ be happy, and if we lose, we’re gonna’ be sad.

One famous phrase of the post game interview is the “moral victory,” it gets brought up time and time again.

However, in my opinion, this week for the Browns was the first “moral loss.” A win has never felt so miserable or so much like a loss. Don’t get me wrong- I love having a check mark in the ‘W’ column- but wow.

This week, we have been treated to a simple quote that can really sum up the feeling of an entire game and the feelings of both organizations involved.

Not since Jim Mora’s precise explanation of the difference between talking about the regular season and the PLAYOFFS?!?! have we been awarded such a well articulated response to a game:

Dick Jauron: "We're very disappointed, I must say.”

No Dick, we are disappointed. All of us.

Nobody can be excited about what happened this last week in Ralph Wilson Stadium. Cleveland has been credited with being the reason for plastic bottles; but with the way the game was going this week, I’m sure the refs, commentators, and even some of the fans wouldn’t have minded going back to the good old hard glass bottles; and having a few blunt objects heaved at them; to give them a reason to get away from that game.

There certainly would have been enough bottles seeing as how Browns and Bills fans alike, were likely to have blood alcohol contents that rivaled Derek Anderson’s passer rating.

It’s not even that the Browns are bad. It is the fact that very little is done to turn it around or even make it bearable.

Over the last ten years, I feel like no matter who is coaching or playing, I am always watching a low scoring, poor defensive effort with a slow, mediocre running back pounding the ball directly into the center of the defense for two plays in a row; which is efficiently followed by an unsuccessful pass attempt on third and long which leads to the best part of our team- special teams.

I see what the Dolphins did two years ago and just wonder why we cant do the same. I understand that it is unrealistic and unlikely to make a turnaround like that, but we can at least try and be entertaining, or at the very least try and semi-consistently have an offensive player enter the correct end zone for six points (I think I remember those being called touchdowns).

Let’s face it; nobody wants to watch a 6-3 game especially when all the second rate analysts can comment on is the fabulous punting games of both teams (even though it was pretty fabulous). It was fitting that the only actual highlight of the game was actually a blunder.

It was also about time the Browns capitalized on a break, seeing as how they are so rare to receive them and so eager to give them away.

Don’t worry Buffalo Bills, we feel your pain.

While this might seem like a rant, and in some ways it is, it is more of a plea for help. It is a desperate call from the masses to please score more than three points at a time. It is a note that a punt and kick return game is not an offense. It is a gentle reminder that when a ball is thrown, it is important to make an effort to catch it and retain possession.

However, while I find myself saying all this, I also find my heart telling me: maybe this lackluster victory, this “moral loss," is what it’s going to take to turn this titanic ship of failure and spin it around to get a true victory in the wasteland that is Heinz Field next week.

It’s these thoughts and feelings that just remind me that I am a Cleveland fan, and hey, there’s always next week, there’s always LeBron, and yes, there is always next year.

Go Browns and God Bless America.

My name is Pat, and I am a Cleveland Sports Fan.