Coaches Poll Madness! Why Is Penn State Ranked Above Iowa?

A hallucination is a fact, not an error; what is erroneous is a judgement based upon it.

Bert Russell, who, alas, does not have a vote in the coaches poll.

Why are the Penn State Nittany Lions ranked higher then the Iowa Hawkeyes in the USA Today/CNN coaches poll?

Did all 59 NCAA Football coaches have a mass hallucination two weeks ago and had a vision of Penn State dominating the Hawkeyes in Happy Valley?

Was it just my imagination running away with me or did Iowa, a 10 point underdog, win 21-10 and dominate the fourth quarter with superior special teams play, better coaching, and over powering late game trench play by Iowa's offensive and defensive lines?

The Iowa running back was the one knocking over the kitty cats in blue, wasn't he?

Or did I miss something and did Jack Ham climb slowly down from the booth and make some big fourth quarter stops like the Lions of yore used to do?

Jack Ham would have made those tackles, even at sixty one years old.

But wasn't that the Penn State senior quarterback sub-cumming to the Hawkeye pass rush and becoming a turnover machine?

That was the Hawkeye defensive line physically controlling the line of scrimmage late in the game wasn't it?

Didn't the Hawkeye offensive line knock the Nits around late in the contest? Or was it all a Lion nightmare?

The Hawkeyes do have a better record and they did win, convincing, in Happy Valley again?.

Was it all,[Happy Birthday Mister Poe], a dream within a dream? Did the Lions actually win and roll over Illinois and now wait, undefeated, for hated Ohio State?

But didn't the Hawkeyes turn that White Out blue?

Shouldn't that be a sad State College country song "You Turned My White Out Blue?"

If your one of the the 59 college coaches who vote, or have their staff, secretaries, team mascots, wives, ex wives, girlfriends, mistresses, interns, assistant coaches, trainers, staffers, psychiatrists, psychics, cooks, bartenders, drinking buddies, bodyguard, boosters, boyfriends, fathers, mothers, man servants, children, grandchildren, great grand children, cats, canines, car mechanics, cheerleaders, sideline cops, or favorite cartoon characters vote for them, you best take a longer look at the standings and scoreboard before you belt out that weekly ballot.

The coaches can't think a win against the uninspired Zooks of Illinois, with a fired man walking head coach, a timid, scared defense, and a staid, grossly inefficient offense is enough to leap the Lions over the team that thumped them the week before? 

They can't think that, right? I mean the coaches do pay some degree of attention, however minute, to things outside their programs?

Or don't they? Are are they that wrapped in the world of next Saturday?

If so why even vote? Why not let their bartenders vote they watch more games anyway.

Or is the conversation new coaches get as they prepare to cast their first poll ballots?

“'But I don’t want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
'Oh, you can’t help that,' said the Cat. 'We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.'
'How do you know I’m mad?' said Alice.
'You must be,” said the Cat. 'or you wouldn’t have come here.'”

Iowa Coach Kirk Ferentz must think it's madness.

The Hawkeyes Captain Kirk has beaten Joe Paterno's Nittany Lions seven of the last eight.

What loyal Lion, even in his nightmares most dire, would have dreamt of that? They feared Wolverines, Badgers, and Buckeyes, oh my, and its been Hawkeyes stabbing them in the heart.

Year after year after year, its like a losing Groundhog Day for the Lions every time they line up over the Hawkeyes.

Maybe if Iowa beats Penn State 9 out of 10 times the Hawkeyes will get ranked higher.

Maybe if Iowa beats Penn State 9 out of 10 times Captain Kirk Ferentz will take Joe's job.

It only seems fair to hire Ferentz, the man who keeps knocking the old king off his Nittany mountain.