11 Hilarious Athlete-on-Athlete Jokes

Laura Depta@lauradeptaFeatured ColumnistSeptember 5, 2016

SEATTLE, WA - SEPTEMBER 27:  Defensive end Michael Bennett #72 (L) of the Seattle Seahawks is greeted by his younger brother  Martellus Bennett #83 of the Chicago Bears after the game at CenturyLink Field on September 27, 2015 in Seattle, Washington.  (Photo by Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images)
Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images

Are Michael and Martellus Bennett the most hilarious athletes in sports? When it comes to poking fun at other athletes, the NFL brothers just might be. 

Athletes joking around can get pretty hysterical, but it's particularly special when they do it to each other. Miami Marlins outfielder Ichiro Suzuki roasted his own teammate during a press conference recently, and Tom Brady even made fun of himself. 

Ready for some early-week laughs? Here they are, courtesy of athlete-on-athlete joke action.


Honorable Mention: Peyton Manning on Tom Brady

Retired NFL quarterback Peyton Manning gets an "A" for effort here, but really, his Deflategate joke during Rob Lowe's Comedy Central roast was just a bit tired:


Ichiro Suzuki on Justin Bour 

Ichiro knocked in his 3,000th MLB hit in August. After the game, a reporter asked the Miami Marlins outfielder how it felt, and he responded (through a translator), "You know, my first three at bats my body felt like Justin Bour's. I was just so heavy, but after that hit the burden was lifted off," per Nick Schwartz of Fox Sports: 

Bour, Ichiro's teammate, is listed at 6'3", 265 pounds by the team


Carmelo Anthony on DeAndre Jordan

Carmelo Anthony was pretty much pegged as the crotchety old-man veteran on the U.S. men's Olympic basketball team, but he showed his younger teammates a thing or two in the joke department (Warning: NSFW language):

Namely, the New York Knicks forward compared DeAndre Jordan's haircut to that of Jimi Hendrix. Pretty accurate.


John Cena on Peyton Manning (and Others) 

WWE star John Cena hosted the ESPY Awards in July, and his opening monologue was a hit. Cena took shots at NBA stars J.R. Smith, LeBron James, Kevin Durant and others including NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. One of Cena's best quips came at the expense of retired QB Peyton Manning:


WWE Stars on Conor McGregor

Speaking of John Cena, UFC fighter Conor McGregor let him, and other WWE wrestlers, have it at a press conference in August. His statements weren't so much comedy as they were aggressive tirades, but some of the WWE responses to the outburst (and halfhearted Twitter apology) were quite clever:


Adam Jones on Tim Tebow 

A lot of people had a lot to say about Tim Tebow's MLB tryout, per Josh Peter of USA Today—e.g. "publicity stunt," "waste of time" and "better than I expected."

But what did MLB players think? Baltimore Orioles outfielder Adam Jones weighed in with this zinger:


Channing Frye on LeBron James

The Cleveland Cavaliers had entirely too much fun (er, just the right amount) accepting their award for best team at the ESPYs. LeBron James ragged on everybody and everything, from J.R. Smith's shirtless ways to Channing Frye's minimal playing time: 

Frye got him back good though, when he pointed to James on stage and said, "Thank you Cleveland, for giving this guy a chance."


Martellus Bennett on Eli Manning

This entire thing could be dedicated to Martellus and Michael Bennett. During an interview with Mina Kimes of ESPN The Magazine, the NFL brothers roasted everyone from J.J. Watt to Roger Goodell. On New York Giants QB Eli Manning, Martellus (a tight end for the New England Patriots) said, "Eli? He's cool. He's like a normal white guy you see at the park trying to teach his kids how to play soccer and you know he can't really play soccer himself," per Kimes.


Martellus and Michael Bennett on Sam Bradford

Martellus and his brother Michael (a defensive end for the Seattle Seahawks) each had a bit of fun when questioned about Minnesota Vikings QB Sam Bradford. Per Kimes:

(Both smirk.)

Michael: 'The greatest quarterback in the NFL.'

Martellus: 'Vicious. Competitive.'

Michael: 'A real Joe Montana.'


Tom Brady on Tom Brady

An athlete making fun of himself or herself counts as an athlete-on-athlete joke, right? Several athletes appeared in a tribute video/Gatorade commercial spoof honoring Peyton Manning at the ESPY Awards. For instance, New England Patriots QB Tom Brady read a letter "from Peyton" aloud:

Brady read from the "letter," per Matt Juul of Boston Magazine, "I just want you to know that I think of you as a brother. A brother who lost to my other brother all the time."

Manning's younger brother Eli and his New York Giants pretty much own the Pats. 


Russell Wilson on Russell Wilson  

One of Russell Wilson's career lowlights has to be that Super Bowl-losing interception in 2015. At least he could make fun of himself about it, though. Speaking at the University of Wisconsin commencement ceremony in May, the Seattle Seahawks QB said, per Andre Vergara of Fox Sports:

If you're dating a woman that's way out of your league, ask her to marry you. If you can throw a football 80 yards, for some reason, people think that's pretty cool. And if you're playing the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl, and you've got 26 seconds left and you're down by four, and it's second and goal on their 1-yard line, try not to throw an interception.

That's purely, purely hypothetical though, of course.


Mike Tyson on Mike Tyson

And the winner, for best self-deprecating athlete joke, is Mike Tyson. The former heavyweight champ is selling T-shirts that poke fun at his lisp:



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