12 Crazy New Stadium Features Sports Purists Will Hate

Old-time baseball fans are probably going to hate the zip line at the new Atlanta Braves ballpark.

Of course, "purist" is a general term, used here simply to describe sports traditionalists—folks who appreciate simplicity, a focus on the game and anything that can be described as the "old way of doing things." Purists are not generally adept to change in that sense.

They also don't tend to like anything that is technologically new or different, is flashy or unnecessary or takes away from (and therefore might even disrespect) the game itself.  

Of course, time marches on, as does the evolution of sports facilities. Many new or updated stadiums and arenas now feature hotels, restaurants, concert venues and other non-sports features. Many include technology such as Wi-Fi and in-seat concession ordering that aim to add comfort and convenience for fans.

A lot of these changes are positive and innovative, but traditionalists don't always see things that way. And, frankly, some changes are a little out there, even for a member of the millennial generation.

Without speaking for Johnny Bench or Goose Gossage specifically, old-school sports guys like them would most likely hate the following 12 new features (some real, some proposed).

'Metal Origami'

The outward appearance of stadiums has changed a lot over time—many now appear more flashy and less basic. 

Purists might dislike this more in principle than practice, since it doesn't exactly impede game viewing, but anything that can be described as "metal origami" doesn't seem like it would be up their alley.

That's how Cork Gaines of Business Insider described the look of the new Atlanta Falcons NFL stadium, scheduled to open in 2017. The $1.2 billion structure will feature solar panels and a massive window spanning across one entire side. The retractable roof will open "like a flower."

It just seems like a lot of pomp and circumstance for a football stadium (a traditionalist might say).

Also this crocodile stadium. Just putting that out there.  

Energy Drink Sandwich

Sandwiches aren't exactly a feature of the stadium, but let's take a little liberty here and include them.

Non-traditional concessions have been around for years. Sushi is available at Yankee Stadium. San Francisco's AT&T Park has something called a culinary garden.

Any of these fairly normal food items would likely irritate the traditional crowd because, well, they're not hot dogs. And if that's the case, what about the completely bizarre selections rolled out by teams in 2016?

The Pittsburgh Pirates have a hot dog with Cracker Jack and macaroni and cheese. The Atlanta Braves have a burger with pizzas for a bun.

The Braves also have something called "The Punisher," which might be the most ridiculous new concession item of the 2016 MLB season. According to Maggie Hendricks of For the Win, it's basically a "Monster energy drink-infused BBQ sandwich." Yum.

Extreme Sports Area

Michael Regan/Getty Images

Tottenham's new stadium is scheduled to open in 2018 and will host soccer and NFL games.

In addition to the decidedly un-sports-related hotel, the plans also feature something called a "sky walk" and the "world's highest indoor climbing wall," according to Sky Sports. The climbing wall (like the one seen above at King Power Stadium in Leicester, England) will be part of a separate extreme sports area.

Hotspur chairman Daniel Levy explained, "It's not just about the soccer or the NFL. It's the other activities we are including in our plans, the extreme sports facility which we think will be a major tourist attraction," per Sky Sports.

Newer generations tend to be all about more efficient, multi-purpose facilities, but old-school soccer and/or football fans probably just want to watch soccer and/or football.

Note: Tottenham's new digs will also feature a retractable pitch, making the transition from soccer to football easier. Purists might even find that useful. 

'Legacy Ship'

Big, showy features generally aren't necessary to the sport at hand in a particular stadium, and therefore they might be frowned upon by those interested in the game only.

Take, for instance, the massive ship the Minnesota Vikings plan to create as part of their new U.S. Bank Stadium, scheduled to open in 2016.

Dubbed the "Legacy Ship," the massive construction will sit outside in the Medtronic Plaza and serve to "honor local ancestry," according to a statement from the team. The ship will stand 55 feet tall and feature a 2,000 square-foot video board as its sail.

The Vikings have a similar attraction at their training facility, and per Vikings.com, and Vikings owner and president Mark Wilf said, "The Viking ship located outside the team's Winter Park training facility has always been a favorite stop for visiting Vikings fans."

Farmers Market

PAUL J. RICHARDS/Getty Images

So, the proposed Carson, California, stadium attached to the San Diego Chargers and Oakland Raiders' bids for relocation to Los Angeles had some weird stuff. Plans released in August showed VIP parking inside the stadium and a massive Lombardi Trophy/eyesore.

One thing purists probably probably scoffed at, however, was the farmers market for tailgaters. Listen, most folks love a good farmers market, but the existence of one at a football stadium doesn't exactly scream "traditional." 

If it doesn't rhyme with "steer" or can't be cooked on a grill, forget it. 

Individual Seat Screens

Vodafone Arena is the recently opened facility of Turkish football club Besiktas. Like many new stadiums, Vodafone features technological enhancements such as complimentary Wi-Fi access.

The individual screens on the back of spectator seats are one particularly eye-popping feature. (Yes really—like the ones on all the good planes.)

It's unclear if game action will be shown on the screens, but even if the content is limited to replays, the convenience of such a feature is obvious.

And yet, it's all too easy to hear an old-timer's hypothetical take: "Why would I need a screen? The game is right there!"

Dancing Woman Sculpture

T-Mobile Arena, Las Vegas' new home for hockey, is so Vegas.

The facility doubles as a concert venue, features suites made to feel like nightclubs and employs a mixologist. In the park outside, there is a sculpture of a dancing woman, designed by artist Marco Cochrane, standing at 40 feet tall. Of course there is.

Dan Marrazza of ESPN.com wrote, "For a general hockey audience, some of these features might seem a little peculiar at first. But for those who hoped that a potential Las Vegas NHL team would play in a Vegas-ish atmosphere, T-Mobile Arena definitely won't disappoint."

Old-school hockey fans might be turned off by the glitz, but then again, it is Vegas. What does anyone expect?

Zip Line

SunTrust Park, the new home of the Atlanta Braves, will open in 2017. And it will have a zip line.

That's right. No longer are zip lines reserved for exotic vacations and sight-seeing ventures. Now, fans can take part in the thrill-seeking activity at a baseball game.

Braves executive vice president of sales and marketing Derek Schiller said, "We are very family friendly, and that is a significant portion of our audience. Well over 50 percent of our fans are families that come with their child to a game," according to Douglas Sams of the Atlanta Business Chronicle.

One would assume kids will take part in this family activity during game action, thereby missing said game action, a horrendous offense by any purist standards.  

Lightning Tower

The proposed farmers market at the Carson, California, stadium that won't happen was a warm-up. The real oddity was, wait for it, a lightning tower.

According to the Associated Press (via CSNBayArea.com), renderings featured a 120-foot tower that would emit lightning during Chargers games and burn a flame to honor late Raiders owner Al Davis during Oakland games.

President of Manica Architecture David Manica told Sam Farmer and Nathan Fenno of the Los Angeles Times, "We wanted the building to be iconic and sleek, like a luxury sports car."

Not only were both proposed features weird, but they represented exactly the type of over-the-top showmanship traditionalists generally despise.

Mini Stadium

Brian Bahr/Getty Images

A mini stadium—um, what?

The Denver Broncos plan to construct a one-eighth replica of old Mile High Stadium to be utilized by fans during tailgates and away games.

The Broncos are targeting 2016 for the opening of "Mini Mile High," which will feature a 1,250-square-foot AstroTurf field and 176 original seats, according to Jason Blevins of the Denver Post.

Broncos' head of business development Mac Freeman said, "We see on an away game, people being able to host 300 people in there. They'll have food and beverage, the scoreboard, they can watch our game while we're on the road," per John Breech of CBS Sports.

Traditionalists won't even know what to do with this one. And they probably won't even get the obligatory Zoolander references.

Lazy River

Minor league ballparks have long been known to utilize creative tactics to drive attendance and keep the fans happy. That has included carnival rides, picnic areas and playgrounds, and now it includes a lazy river.

In February, the Frisco RoughRiders announced plans for the Choctaw Lazy River, a new attraction at Dr. Pepper Ballpark in Frisco, Texas.

According to Valerie Wigglesworth of the Dallas Morning News, the river will be three feet deep and hold 68,023 gallons of water.

Per Wigglesworth, RoughRiders CEO and managing partner Chuck Greenberg said, "We wanted a signature visual element that would be a dominant presence no matter where you were."

Here's an old-school take: How about the game as the dominant presence?

Moat

This is not Dungeons & Dragons. This is football.

In March, the Bjarke Ingels Group announced plans for a new football stadium in Washington. The plans, featured on an episode of 60 Minutes, featured an actual moat.

In addition to providing a place for kayakers, Scott Allen of the Washington Post wrote, "A close-up rendering of the moat provided to CBS includes fans lying on a man-made beach, a surfer riding a wave and two people rappelling off the side of the stadium."

This feature is so outrageous, it's probably not just purists who oppose it. Twitter reaction to the renderings definitely included some negativity. One detractor tweeted, "The stadium looks like jellyfish barf."

Luckily, fans likely won't have to worry about this until at least 2027, the year Washington's current lease at FedEx Field expires.