Coaches We Hope Never Leave the College Ranks
College football is all about player turnover, so fans know to avoid getting attached to star linebackers and quarterbacks.
They do not do the same with star coaches.
Unlike players, coaches can stick around forever, which allows fans to form a more intimate, lasting connection.
That applies past fans of teams and into fans of the sport. No matter who you root for, certain coaches are essential to your viewing. They are funny or enthralling or both, and when you see a story with their names in the keyword, you click no matter what.
Here are five of those coaches, listed specifically because, in certain future timelines, they might end up leaving college for the NFL.
Let's hope those timelines stay theoretical.
Bret Bielema, Arkansas
1 of 5
Bret "All Hog" Bielema is college football's lovable buffoon.
Only he's not a buffoon; he's one of the best coaches in the game. That's what makes the buffoonery so lovable.
He recently agreed to film a web-based reality show, for which Bleacher Report's Barrett Sallee called him "perfect." After watching him troll Texas, bear his chest at the bar or malapropism his way into the Freudian Slip Hall of Fame, it's hard to disagree with that assessment.
His offense is described as "pro-style," but Bert belongs in college.
P.J. Fleck, Western Michigan
2 of 5
P.J. Fleck is not a hot NFL coaching candidate, but his trajectory is such that eventually, in five or 10 or 15 years, he might earn a look from the league.
For all of our sakes—please no.
Fleck is an uncertified crazy person, which is meant as a total compliment. His "Row the Boat" mantra and unceasing commitment to energy have invigorated Western Michigan.
Like an earnest but just as lovable PFT Commenter, he calls everything he likes "elite." Whether it's lunch (potato soup and potato rolls!) or his mood ("I'm doing elite!"), nothing's ever only just OK.
Too young to be so accomplished, Fleck is still only 35. His career goal is to win a national title at Western Michigan, which is funny until you realize he's serious.
Then, for a second, it's lunacy.
But then, after that second, it's charming.
Charming is the perfect word.
Jim Harbaugh, Michigan
3 of 5
Known as a control freak in San Francisco, Jim Harbaugh returned to his alma mater at Michigan, loosened whatever made him tightly wound and morphed into one of the most gloriously weird college football figures ever.
He's running around with his shirt off at scouting camps. He's calling himself a "jackhammer" in interviews. He's Netflix-and-chilling with recruits.
Everything Harbaugh does is captivating, and he's successful enough to get away with it. Even in the NFL, his teams always played well. In college, he morphs dormant programs into national title contenders.
He's everything a college coach should be.
.jpg?w=256 "Ohio State Team Doctor")
Lane Kiffin, Alabama
4 of 5
His boss is the more obvious answer (and we'll get to him in a bit), but Lane Kiffin makes college football roughly 1,000 times more interesting.
Of everybody on this list, he's the one deepest entrenched in the Tyson Zone. With Johnny Manziel now the NFL's problem, he might be the only college football figure in the Tyson Zone. And every sport needs at least one guy in the Tyson Zone.
For those uninitiated: The Tyson Zone is Bill Simmons' term for a figure about whom you'd believe any story. His firings are the stuff of legends—both from Oakland and USC—and even unsourced rumors about his off-field persona, Joey Freshwater, while unfounded and completely untrue, gained traction because they concerned Lane Kiffin.
This pick is also the scariest because Kiffin is the most likely to leave. His name came up just yesterday in NFL coaching rumors, with SB Nation's 49ers blog, Niners Nation, reporting San Francisco contacted Kiffin about becoming Chip Kelly's new offensive coordinator.
If and when he leaves, it will be a crying shame. Until then, we'll enjoy his premature touchdown celebrations, surprisingly charming interviews and overall hell-raising manner.
You think you want him gone...until he is.
Nick Saban, Alabama
5 of 5
Is Game of Thrones as good without Tywin? Was Breaking Bad as good without Gus? Does any show get better without the bad guy?
Nick Saban is hard to root for but essential to the impact of his story. Rooting against him and Alabama is unlike rooting against any other entity. It binds all college football fans outside of Tuscaloosa together.
The NFL will always come calling, but here's to hoping Saban got that out of his system.
He's the villain college football deserves.
.jpg?w=480 "Ohio State Team Doctor")
