Why I Hate The Pittsburgh Steelers

Over the last year or so, I have really developed an interest in the whole sports writing/blogging thing. I have tried to express my opinions in a professional manner in an attempt to build journalistic integrity. However, for this post, forget all that stuff.

Nobody is forcing you to read this. Consider yourself warned.

I don't like the Cleveland Browns, but at least I can be cordial if I see someone in a Brady Quinn jersey. We can exchange friendly barbs while maintaining our civility. I don't know, maybe I feel sorry for a grown man that barks like a dog when his team scores a touchdown.

I hate the pittsburgh steelers.  I can't even bring myself to capitalize the name.  Why, you ask? Here are a few reasons...

History 

Do you realize that the steelers did not win a playoff game until 1972? That is kind of ironic, considering they were founded in 1933. The irony comes in the fact that they began winning when the "juice" started flowing.  

If you don't think the steelers were using steroids, take that stupid yellow towel and wipe the crap out of your eyes. The number of ex-steelers to die in the last 10 years is remarkable. Many of those have been players from the 1970s with heart problems. Coincidence?  I think not.

The Terrible Towel 

Speaking of that stupid yellow towel, is that the best you fools could come up with? Seriously? If you are a man with a job and family who somehow convinced a blind woman to marry you, why do you spend your Sunday waving a snot rag over your head?

A lady (sort of) that sits near me at work has one of those rags hanging in her cube. When I hit the lottery and tell them all to "take this job and shove it," I swear I am going to blow my nose in that stupid thing on way out the door.

The Players 

Ben Worthlessbooger is the most overrated player in the league. He is ugly and I hate him. I thought his looks would improve after smashing his face in the motorcycle accident. Nope.  

I know he has denied the allegations of rape, but I seriously question the thought of any semi-intelligent woman with a decent set of spectacles would want to do the horizontal mambo with him.

Everyone knows that Troy Polamalu looks like Michael Jackson. You know, like a woman. After seeing the stupid shampoo commercial, I now know that he sounds like MJ too. You know, like a woman. I hate him.

I hate Hines Ward. He cries about everything. He is not a good receiver. He is an idiot. I hate him. I would like nothing better than to see Rey Maualuga knock that disgusting smile from his face.  

I don't want to see anyone get hurt, but I wouldn't lose any sleep if he got his ugly face rearranged on Sunday.

The Hit 

I am not talking about a clean, hard hit on the field.  I am talking about the mafia-style hit that allowed these jerks to beat the Bengals in 2005.  When Kimo Von Imafatpieceofcrap rolled into Carson Palmer's knee, my hatred of this disgusting franchise grew to a new level.

The Fans 

Like I said before, most NFL fans can poke fun at each other at a sports bar and still have a good time. If these idiots are able to actually spit out a coherent thought, it most likely has something to do with the "one for the thumb" phrase they use every five seconds while waving that ridiculous yellow rag.

After they put down there thumb and use their sleeve to wipe the hot sauce off of their face, the corresponding index finger is usually inserted into their nose. They don't wash their hands after they pee either.

They are the most vile people on the face of the earth. I hate them.

Besides, they don't even have any cheerleaders. Any woman that would shake her tookus for that team could probably start on the offensive line.

I hate them.