The 15 Greatest Rap Sports References of 2015
A lot happened in hip-hop in 2015.
Meek Mill passed away. Kendrick Lamar dropped his magnum opus. DJ Khaled got lost at sea and filmed the closest thing post-millennials will ever have to their own Cast Away.
It was a good year for rap in 2015, and fittingly enough, sports—one of hip-hop's oldest inspiration wells—saw significant representation in the mix. And with 2015 winding down, it's time to give credit to the slickest sports-centric nuggets rappers dropped over the last 12 months.
.jpg?w=256 "Colts Jaguars Football")
Of course, picking through an entire year's worth of content produced by the world's most popular music genre is a tall order. And I'm going to be honest with you: I did it. With the help of my friend and noted hip-hop enjoyer Tyler Conway, I was able to listen to all the rap. Even the "Back to Back" remixes your cousin put on SoundCloud.
Also—and I shouldn't have to say this, but I do—this isn't the best rap of 2015, just the most topical, "Yooo"-inducing bars alluding to athletes, teams and other sports goodness. So keep that context in mind before you crash the paint in the comment section with your #Actuallys.
With that, here are the 15 greatest sports references rap gave us in 2015:
***Warning: All media embedded herein features very NSFW language because rap.***
15. Future flexing like Serena
The Song: "Big Rings" feat. Drake
The Bars:
I bought that b---h a new Celine, I got rings
I got racks like Serena
Let's start this off by acknowledging that Future is a good rapper and a preternaturally smooth human being.
His verses are like fog banks, and he's probably the only person on earth who can describe his favorite food with one word and make it sound like a five-star review in the New York Times.
But sports are not Future's medium. His medium is Magic City on week nights, followed by cheesecake so good you will call family members. So he'll have settle for a modest tip of the cap here.
14. Young Thug channels Kobe on "Check"
The Song: "Check"
The Bars:
If you don't owe me, b---h, still act like you owe me
I promise I won't ever quit, b---h I'm Kobe
It's been touch-and-go at times, but never let it be said that Young Thug had an uninteresting 2015.
The Atlanta-born rapper churned out approximately 5,000 mixtapes this year. He also invented analogies that will make sure you never look at a baby stroller the same way again.
Unfortunately, Thugga Thugga's work was disrupted by some not-so-good things in 2015, including an arrest, a gun charge and an indictment for conspiring to kill Lil Wayne. All of which are less than ideal.
But! As he explained on "Check," Young Thug is isn't going to stop striving, and he illustrated this point by saying he'll never stop just like Kobe—which is a good rap line, because it compliments Kobe while also implying that the Mamba's presence in the league had become a symbol of stubborn and reckless defiance.
That's a solid, double-edged homage.
13. Chance the Rapper is the Jose Bautista of lumberjacks
The Song: "Israel (Sparring)" feat. Noname Gypsy
The Bars:
Sparring is training, this a jumpin' jack / I'm the scariest jack in the pumpkin patch
Float like my jumper wet, sting like a bumblebee / I swing like a lumberjack
Go back when I'm up at bat
"Israel (Sparring)" is a great example of where Chance the Rapper is right now as a rapper.
This track is layer upon layer of wordplay, introspection and social analysis. It's also a complete toss-off—a random single Chance posted without fanfare on SoundCloud in August featuring him and Chicago emcee/friend Noname Gypsy.
It's basically Chance and Noname doing a bit of rap stretching—a two-hand-touch scrimmage. And in this light workout, Chance raps about:
1. The purging of black culture throughout history
2. Plato's allegory of the cave
3. Gelly Roll pens
4. Damon Wayans
As for the bar about wet jumpers and lumberjacks, it's basically just Chance taking a breath between rounds. So that gives you an idea of where his mic fitness is right now.
12. Kanye West is the Mutombo of Not Giving a Damn
The Song: "All Day" by Kanye West
The Bars: Got a middle finger longer than Dikembe, my n---a
If there's one thing I've learned about hip-hop in the last decade, it's that a lot of rappers have written lines about Dikembe Mutombo.
Like, all the rappers.
11. Action Bronson: a modern Doc Gooden
The Song: “Baby Blue” feat. Chance the Rapper
The Bars:
Things change, now my dashboard wooden
All black Benz, like a young Doc Gooden
Doc Gooden was an insanely talented pitcher who played for the New York Mets during the 1980s, and in 1984, at the age of 19, he became the youngest player ever in the MLB All-Star Game.
Gooden's rapid ascension in MLB led to more money than he knew what to do with. Among the many excesses he developed after coming into the league, he became known for flossing in luxury cars outfitted with rims and luxurious book-sized in-car phones.
So Action Bronson is saying he's become rich and famous overnight, and not above flexing on you in an old turbo diesel featuring a corded phone heavy enough to concuss a man.
10. Eminem reminding you of Tiger Woods
The Song: "Medicine Man" by Dr. Dre (feat. Eminem, Candice Pillay and Anderson .Paak)
The Bars:
In the beginning, a few of the people who had a problem I was this good scoffed
I just shook off, probably reminded you of the first time you saw Tiger Woods golf
Eminem got in trouble for dropping one of the more ribald lines of his long and exceedingly ribald rap career on "Medicine Man"—a track on Dr. Dre's 2015 album Compton.
That line and the bad press it received ended up overshadowing the whole verse, which is unfortunate, because Eminem's verse was otherwise a 50-acre brush fire of lyrical hellfire—not least of which was Em's nail-on-the-head comparison of his and Tiger Woods' initial receptions as fleeting oddities in their fields.
9. Pusha T is Yasiel Puig (in a good way)
The Song: "Crutches, Crosses, Caskets"
The Bars:
I’m Yasiel Puig, I’m in another league
I defected, only thing we have in common? N----s bleed
Yasiel Puig is just some of the many persons Pusha T assumes in his new mixtape/kind of album/eight-ton Scud missile King Push – Darkest Before Dawn: The Prelude.*
*Note: Push Puig is probably much more fun to be around than "the Kim Jong of the crack song," which is another character/real thing Pusha T calls himself on this album.
8. Drake hits haters with a retro "What Are Thooose??"
The Song: "6PM in New York" (feat. Future)
The Bars:
Every shot you see them take at me? They all contested
Allen Iverson shoe deal, these n----s all in question
This is a play on Allen Iverson's first signature shoe, the Reebok Question—a kick that was cool in 1996 but is used primarily for yard work and Saved by the Bell reenactments today.
7. Kanye West and the Marshawn/Brady Connection
The Song: "SMUCKERS" by Tyler, The Creator (feat. Kanye West and Lil Wayne)
The Bars:
They say I’m crazy, but that’s the best thing going for me
You can’t Lynch Marshawn if Tom Brady throwin’ to me
Kanye West's verse on Tyler, The Creator's "SMUCKERS" is probably his best work of 2015.
Granted, it didn't have a lot of competition, but that doesn't change the fact that it is a buzz saw. West chops into Nike, white privilege and the hazards of being black and aware. By the time he's describing white-collar coke dreams and lecturing the students at Oxford, you're vaguely aware that your face is melting.
And then there's his line about Marshawn Lynch and Tom Brady—two of the most opposite people to share our planet—whom West holds up as superstars stuck in a situation where only one of them (Brady) is in a position to validate the other (Marshawn). That might not make any sense, but it's the best way I can explain it.
The greatest thing about West's verse, however, is that it's somehow humdrum compared to...
6. Tyler, The Creator making a Tony Parker joke and giving a shoutout to Donald Sterling
The Song: "SMUCKERS" (again)
The Bars:
'Ye we hittin' models like Tony Parker be hittin' bottles
[...] Shout out to Donald Sterling, boy let's get a scrimmage
And cut some n----s, I'll bring the Clippers
A few verses after Kanye's incredibly woke Marshawn-Brady treatise, Tyler, The Creator—the human manifestation of all the most awkward impulses you indulged in as a child—comes through and does the following:
1. Makes a joke about the time Tony Parker got cut up by glass after Drake and Chris Brown's entourages played bottle service crossfire at a New York night club in 2012.
2. Gives a shoutout to Donald Sterling, the racist ex-owner of the Los Angeles Clippers and quite possibly just a large toad wearing a toupee.
These are shocking and absurd things to say, and that is exactly why Tyler said them.
5. Drake dunks on Meek Mill a la MJ
The Song: "Back to Back Freestyle"
The Bars:
Back to back like I'm on the cover of Lethal Weapon
Back to back like I'm Jordan '96-'97
Around this point in Drake's diss track, it's likely that Meek Mill was beginning to lose consciousness.
And despite reports to the contrary, rapologists maintain it would've been impossible for the Philadelphia rapper to have survived in these hostile conditions long enough to hear the line about his girl's tour.
On a different and more important note, Drake's use of Joe Carter's walk-off home run against the Philadelphia Phillies in the 1993 World Series will forever be enshrined in hip-hop's Sports Reference Hall of Fame. That is Inception-levels of trash talk.
4. Action Bronson is drinking froyo and taking over for Jeter but don't worry he's got this
The Song: "Brand New Car"
The Bars:
Since Jeter’s done, now I’m the captain
[...] I’m by the bar lookin’ Swedish in the trench coat stupid
The only one drinkin’ mango lassi in the bullpen
Action Bronson might be the only rapper who can get away with claiming ownership of the hip-hop throne and admitting his love for yogurt-based Indian beverages on the same track.
3. Pusha T is also the Yankees (in a brazen way)
The Song: "M.F.T.R." feat. The-Dream
The Bars:
No retirement plans, no Derek Jeters
We all know I did it, Rodriguez
To make it very clear: Pusha T is really good at rapping and comparing himself to other people he's noting. And selling drugs. He says he's pretty good at that, too.
2. Action Bronson making the first and only measured Magic Johnson reference in rap history
The Song: "Easy Rider"
The Bars:
The Magic Johnson of the game, these lames don’t want to play with me
Smile on your face, but I really know you hatin’ me
I know you mad, cause I’m sick and it’s plain to see
Magic Johnson is well-churned fodder in hip-hop, but Action Bronson twists the topic around on "Easy Rider" and identifies with the Los Angeles Lakers great in a new and unexpected way.
Note: Despite his social media usage, Magic Johnson seems like he doesn't deserve all the grief he gets.
1. Post Malone's tribute to tragic hero and noted practice-hater Allen Iverson
The Song: "White Iverson"
The Bars:
Ballin’, money jumpin’, like I’m Davis from New Orleans
Or b---h I’m Harden, I don’t miss nothin’
F--k practice, this s--t just happens, know y’all can’t stand it
I have it, I’ll never pass it, I work my magic
High average, ball on these b-----s, it makes me happy, It’s tragic, I make it happen, and all y’all Shaqtin'
[...] I need that money like the ring I never won
If you had told me five years ago someone would make a song about Allen Iverson that could make any room instantly dusty, I would've nodded and let you have your weird beliefs.
But then it happened.
Post Malone dropped "White Iverson" in February, and now I think way too much about how Allen Iverson went from chasing rings and crossing defenders into piles of ash to flat-broke and accepting pity cash from his ex-wife so he can buy a cheeseburger.
But "White Iverson" isn't a sad track. It's a beautiful ode to fanship, the NBA circle of life and saucing.
So thank you, Post Malone. I promise to think about you when you're gone.
Dan is on Twitter. He's currently penning the next sports/hip-hop smash hit: "Ivory Swish (feat J.R. Tha Gawd)."
.jpg?w=480 "Colts Jaguars Football")
