You Had One Job: Sports Edition

The bait ball exists as an effective survival strategy for fish at the bottom of the food chain for a reason: Putting yourself out there is a risky proposition.

If you’re just another panicked herring among countless panicked herring, then you’re counting on the merciless but fair hand of probability to save you. But if you’re that one herring that goes rogue, then you just became the target of opportunity, and that's a lot of weight to put on the shoulders of a herring.

When it comes to mankind in the 21st century, the spotlight can be something you seek out or a matter of circumstance—how and why is less important than what happens once all eyes are on you.

Maybe you’re in a meeting at work, and the boss asks for your opinion about a project. Perhaps you tripped and fell on your face in the middle of a busy sidewalk. You’re not within the secure confines of the bait ball anymore, so you can seize the moment or go down in flames—the stakes are higher whether you like it or not.

In sports, being put on the spot can be a career-maker or a career-killer. Sometimes the nature of the job itself puts you in the position to either fail or succeed in a very public way, but sometimes it’s something beyond a person’s control. But it almost always happens in a stadium, arena or some other place designed to put thousands of eyes on you—and the result can be disastrous.

You Had One Job, Roger Goodell

Aside from withstanding a crushing barrage of boos throughout the first round of the draft, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell’s only job was to collect an envelope, walk to the stage and read a name.

Yet, at the most recent draft, he managed to mangle the name of Oregon quarterback Marcus Mariota. The guy only won the Heisman!

You Had One Job, Auburn Flag Man

Michael Chang/Getty Images

In terms of college cheer people, running around with the big flag is a pretty sweet assignment—the best way to attract attention without having to wear a scandalously short skirt and be flung in the air.

It’s high on glory and short on responsibility. All you have to do is hold the flag and not fall down. The guy in the photo is halfway there.

You Had One Job, Jersey-Maker

Considering how much money is poured into and generated by sports, both professional and collegiate, misspelled jerseys are way too common. Every time this happens, it represents a failure on a number of levels.

Of course, a proofreading error is almost understandable if the name on the jersey is relatively complicated. Misspelling Smith, on the other hand, is inexcusable.

You Had One Job, Adam Scott

First of all, it doesn’t matter if you don’t like golf and/or think it’s “boring.” That doesn’t mean the game is easy. Most people are simply terrible at golf, which is what separates us from people such as Australia’s Adam Scott.

Then again, even the most casual mini-golfers can easily tap in a putt from a few inches away—something else that separates us from Scott! In July, he choked on two straight holes, including this tap-in for par, which cost him a second major at the British Open.

You Had One Job, Animal Wrangler

The job of an animal wrangler is self-explanatory: to wrangle animals. In this case, the animal wrangler was responsible for managing the crazy of a condor brought in to make a pregame appearance at a Bakersfield Condors game.

It’s safe to say that he didn’t live up to the full responsibility of the position. Within seconds of removing the bird from its cage, it immediately went rogue, evading capture for two of the most glorious minutes that have ever played out at a hockey game.

You Had One Job, Ball Boy

So technically the job of a tennis ball boy is to provide and fetch balls. But he's basically a gofer whose duties can be adjusted as necessary.

In this video, the ball boy was charged with adios-ing a surprisingly terrifying bug. He failed on a grand scale, leaving the player to do his dirty work.

You Had One Job, Angry Sign-Maker

Associated Press

Fans often use signs to express their feelings. Whether they be happily supportive, cleverly snide, creepily lustful, desperately attention-seeking or bitterly resentful, a homemade sign is a great way to stand out among tens of thousands.

And a glaring error in grammar or spelling is a great way to completely undermine the effort. People aren’t going to walk away thinking Clay Bennett is a thief—they’re going to walk away thinking the dude holding the Clay Bennett sign can’t spell.

You Had One Job, Angels Catcher

The guy behind the plate is only able to do his job because of an established trust that the catcher is going to do his job, acting as the barrier between the pitcher’s fastball and the umpire’s crotch.

Violate that trust, and the whole system breaks down! That’s exactly what happened during an Angels-Dodgers game in August 2014. And Vin Scully’s reaction didn’t help the situation either!

You Had One Job, High School Catcher

We just established the circle of trust that is essential at home plate. The catcher’s only job is to catch the ball. Sometimes, there are circumstances that prevent that from happening, which is fine if they’re within the context of the game.

It’s less fine when the circumstances that prevent that is the catcher intentionally ducking to avoid the ball. Well, less fine for the umpire, who has to take a baseball to the dome but actually kinda funny for the rest of us.

You Had One Job, National Anthem Singer

If you’re booked to sing the national anthem at a sporting event, assuming you’re an even slightly capable singer, your only job is to learn the words. Honestly, you should probably already know them to begin with, but learning them is crucial if you don’t.

And if you’re not good under pressure, this probably isn’t the best gig. The girl in this video didn’t just completely flub the lyrics—she was showered with a hearty chorus of boos because she immediately fled the scene.

You Had One Job, Morgan Moses

Everyone knows the job of an offensive lineman is to protect the quarterback against the opposing pass rush. It’s not always easy in practice, but it’s not a difficult concept to grasp.

Unless, of course, you’re Redskins offensive tackle Morgan Moses, who completely hung Kirk Cousins out to dry on this play against the Seahawks in October 2014.

You Had One Job, Ball Boy

As previously established, while a tennis ball boy’s duties revolve primary around balls, there are some other functions to the job. Certain duties, such as walking from point A to point B without embarrassing yourself, probably aren’t covered in the training because it’s assumed that functional humans already possess this innate ability.

As it turns out, that’s not always the case. In this hilariously clumsy ball boy's defense, he's probably not the first—or the last—man to have tripped over himself in the presence of Russian stunner Maria Sharapova. 

You Had One Job, Buffalo Kicker

Considering the vital role they play on most football teams (that possess them), kickers and punters don’t get nearly the level of respect they deserve. That whole "be seen and not heard" thing is ridiculous.

That being said, occasionally a kicker will do something so inexplicably stupid that it can set the plight of the position back years. There’s no doubt that onside kicks can be tricky, but Buffalo’s kicker barely made contact with the ball!

You Had One Job, Mulleted Singer

As countless YouTube videos will tell you, singing the national anthem is hard enough in a stationary position. Even established professional singers such as Christina Aguilera and Michael Bolton have botched their performances.

Which is why laymen, such as Mark “Super Mullet” Donnelly, shouldn’t get too cute in their performances. Putting an already tricky song on ice skates only compounds the chances of a disaster. Throw in one perfectly placed carpet, and you’ve got yourself a lifetime of shame.

You Had One Job, Ohio State Cheerleader

Tom Pennington/Getty Images

Cheerleaders, particularly at the collegiate level, are too often dismissed as window dressing, when in reality most of them are legitimate athletes. Those aerial stunts they do are no joke.

So if this Ohio State cheerleader can master dangerous stunts, you’d think jogging to the sideline would be a cakewalk. Not so much.