Quinn Fans Vs. Anderson Fans: Heavyweight Championship of Cleveland

In the gold corner...wearing rose-colored glass…perhaps wearing a “Brady Will You Marry Me” t-shirt underneath their replica No. 10 Cleveland Browns’ jersey...from northeast Ohio by way of South Bend, IN...“Braaaadyyy Quinn Fannnn!”

In the green with envy corner...wearing a 2007 Derek Anderson Pro Bowl jersey...currently reciting Derek Anderson statistics from two seasons ago...but conveniently leaving out games three, five, 13, 15, 16 and 17...and most of 2008…also from northeastern Ohio... “Derrrrek Anderson Fannnn!”

Today with me in the booth helping me commentate this fight is legendary pro boxer George Forman. George, what say you about this clash of the titans?

Well, Steve, I talked to Anderson Fan today and they’re really feeling good about what transpired yesterday afternoon. Since their guy didn’t get the starting nod, they are taking solace in the fact that Quinn tanked on opening day.

But, George, isn’t that a little counter-productive? I mean, aren’t these people supposed to be rooting for the Browns no matter who is playing quarterback?

Well, Steve, in theory you’re correct. But Anderson Fan is still smarting from last year, when Quinn Fan despicably cheered as Derek Anderson was being carted off the field after being injured.

George, what would you say to Quinn Fan and Brady Fan if you had a chance?

Steve, I would say that both of these groups should be ashamed to call themselves Cleveland Browns fans. I mean, it is just insane that they would rather see the other guy fail just to prove that they are right.

If they truly wanted to see the Browns progress they would just let the process take care of itself. You would think that if they want to see some wins, they would just hope that whoever is taking snaps plays well, right?

George, what about all this name-calling?

Wow, Steve, it is really getting out of hand and some of these guys are just distorting the facts.

Take yesterday, for example. Quinn plays a poor game, but up steps Quinn Fan and proclaims that Quinn played a great last five minutes. Quinn fan fails to mention that the opposing team had called off the dogs and let Quinn dink and dunk his way down the field.

This failure to be objective by any reasonable means just incites Anderson Fan into a frenzy. Anderson Fan is frothing at the mouth and in retaliation starts accusing Quinn Fan of performing some kind of gross sexual act.

Quinn Fan then really starts to hit below the belt with some condescending comment like, “you just don’t know what you’re talking about,” knowing full well he will get appreciation and a pat on the back from the much larger group of Quinn Fans. Even though Quinn Fan made some off-the-wall statement, he knows his corner men will back him up.

This incites Anderson Fan into a full barrage of meaningless and self-serving statistics in support of Anderson. He knows that Quinn Fan is going to have a tough time counter-punching those arguments because Quinn doesn’t really have any statistics to measure.

In the end, Quinn Fan and Anderson Fan hate each other so much that they forgot that they were rooting for the same team. They’ve both lost all sense of rationality.

George, what’s your take on the Quinn/Anderson situation as it has played out on the field of play?

Well...we already know what Derek Anderson brings to the table. He’s the same quarterback he was in college and throughout his year-and-a-half as a NFL starter.

He’s a rhythm passer who can really get hot at times. He can start in the NFL and win some games. He’s got a really big arm and shows a tremendous ability to get the ball downfield. He passes the eye test big time.

On the downside, there are times where he has folded when under pressure. We’ve seen him throw interceptions and near-picks on simple screen passes when he could have just thrown the ball away. He occasionally makes some very bad decisions and has a tendency to lock on receivers. He also tends to be a little moody when things aren’t going his way.

Although he can win some games, he has not shown enough consistency at any level to inspire confidence that he can be counted on to take your team to the promised land.

What about Quinn, George?

Well, we really don’t know what we have here. He has an excellent resume from college. He led a pretty bad college team to some big wins.

He was graded a first round pick coming out of college, so we know the NFL scouts saw something in the kid. Of course, that doesn’t mean he’s going to be a success. We know plenty of first round quarterbacks who have failed miserably in this league.

He does show great leadership potential and is a really smart kid. In the few times we have seen him, he has done a very good job of hitting the second or third option, which is impressive for a kid with so little experience.

Unlike Anderson, Quinn will throw the ball away instead of forcing the issue. He’ll live to play another day, which is a good characteristic to have in a quarterback.

However, the jury is still out on whether he has the arm strength to make the tough throw. Sometimes he checks down too often and instead of making a big play (which an NFL quarterback has to do on occasion), he settles for a short gain.

I’m not sure whether he doesn’t have confidence in his arm or if he really thinks he is making the right play. Only time will tell.

Your final analysis, George?

Steve, I think the Browns are making the right choice in going with this Quinn kid. This is a new coaching staff that wants to build for the future. Coach Mangini needs to get a look at Quinn to determine whether or not he is in fact the future franchise quarterback.

If he never plays, the Browns organization will never know if Quinn is the real deal or not.

Again, he already knows what he has in Anderson, so if the Quinn experiment fails, he can always fall back on DA or start all over again.

Regardless, it is about time Quinn Fan and Anderson Fan put aside their petty jealousy and just root for the home team. The last time I checked, football was a team game.