JSF Goes Down

Some of you may have noticed that your favorite sports blog has been having some functional difficulties the past few days.  One of the issues was derived from Google.com claiming to the world that JoeSportsFan.com was a site that may “harm your computer” and, as a result, several prominent internet browsers were offering up some stern warnings upon visiting JSF.

Upon further review, we determined that it had to be a case of some vagrant reporting JSF as a “malicious site” and thus requiring our “legal team” to go on the offensive to clear our name. 

Of course, unless you view recent items such as a picture of Chris Carter in a state of ecstasy or the introduction of a brand new radio network(!) as malicious then clearly we have been the target of a blog hate crime. 

Luckily, we’ve watched enough detective shows on TV in our day to be able to conduct a proper investigation and identify some of the most likely suspects.  Evidence points to the culprit being one of the following:

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Chris Berman
The obvious choice.  Simply put, no single man has suffered more wrath at the hands of Joe Mustache and his minions since JSF came online in 2003.  There’s only so many times a guy can be called a slob by sports bloggers without striking back. 

Vito Stellini
Perhaps someone didn’t take too kindly to being left out of the recent Art of the Columnist Photo piece.  With a picture like the one to the right repping him in the Florida Times Union,Vito does not take too kindly to being held out of any celebration of top quality mug shots.  
  
Roger Goodell
It may have taken him a few years to see it, but Roger Goodell’s mock MySpace page came to his attention recently, there is a legit chance that Mr. Goodell called one of his servants into his palace, looked at them from his throne and demanded that discipline be handed down to anyone who dared mock the Grand Ruler of the National Football League. 

Nick Johnson
Somehow he got wind of the fact that we were prepared to post a column entitled “Slovenly Baseball Players With No Ears” and he didn’t care for it…

Sign Man
Our policy has and always will be that anytime a grown man hauls dozens of professionally designed signs complete with snappy lines into a baseball game and then desperately tries to get on TV as frequently as possible, that person is going to be mocked.  It’s in the JSF constitution.  As a result, the Cardinals’ “Sign Man” has taken his fair share of heat over the years. Although the detective in us feels like he’d be more apt to exact revenge via a posterboard adorned with a ridiculous pun.

Carson Palmer
Because the Bengals quarterback is sick of the JSF corporate policy that requires posting of a picture of him get way too excited about devouring a 10 inch hot dog whenever his name is mentioned.  

Tattooed Sports Fan
If you are a fan of a sports team whose passion runs so deep that you’ve made the decision to permanently etch a tribute of the franchise onto your body via the tattoo, there is a significant chance that we’ve made fun of you at some point or another.  It’s entirely possible that, despite this guy’s appearance on the surface, he’s an IT mastermind who planted some malware deep inside our database without us knowing…then promptly went out and got another tat of David Akers inked onto his body:

Any reader who clicked Dr. Aaron’s column from August 24 and thus was left desperately trying to purge this image from their mind…

Whoever it was who set out to sabatoge JSF, rest assured, we will find them…and they will pay.

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