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The Marlins Somehow Had a Rain Delay in a Stadium with a Retractable Roof

Dan Carson@@DrCarson73Trending Lead WriterApril 6, 2015

MIAMI, FL - SEPTEMBER 18:  A general view of the park with the roof open as the Atlanta Braves prepare against the Miami Marlins by taking batting practice at Marlins Park on September 18, 2012 in Miami, Florida.  (Photo by Marc Serota/Getty Images)
Marc Serota/Getty Images

The Miami Marlins spent a lot of money on their new stadium—$515 million, mostly funded by Miami-Dade County, to be specific.

It features some interesting things, like a quasi-strip club at field level, an exploding fantasy fountain and a monstrous retractable roof. 

The last of these is probably the most practical asset, allowing the franchise to showcase and avoid Florida's notoriously finicky weather as it sees fit.

The roof is a unique and powerful tool when used properly, but the operative words there are "when used properly." That wasn't the case Monday afternoon, when groundskeepers at Marlins Park made the mistake of trusting God not to dump his daily tears on South Florida during the team's season opener against the Atlanta Braves.

Matt Porter of The Palm Beach Post was on the scene prior to the cloudburst. He noted the presence of rain clouds and the stadium's decision to shrug off said clouds, and then he watched as water began falling through the stadium's open roof.

Matt Porter @mattyports

Big ol' raincloud on its way over Marlins Park. Temps dropping. The roof remains open for now.

Matt Porter @mattyports

It is raining at Marlins Park! It is raining at Marlins Park!

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Matt Porter @mattyports

Not gonna help the whole "Marlins Can't Get Anything Right" narrative. The fans are booing. Our laptops are getting wet.

The rain came down as the roof slowly closed, soaking fans and proving why we can never have nice things.

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 🇺🇸🇯🇲 @xraybravo10

@flasportsbuzz http://t.co/sKI4nHLcdk

Jeff Schultz @JeffSchultzAJC

Marlins Park roof closing with speed of an old Holiday Inn elevator http://t.co/bXIsJYEc18

The Marlins grounds crew, not exactly a NASCAR pit crew of rain-fighting efficiency, attempted to put some kind of blanket or off-brand Twister mat over home plate.

WPLG Local 10 Sports @Local10Sports

There's a rain delay at the #Marlins game, you know, the one being played inside a retractable dome stadium http://t.co/99JH14P6vF

Naturally, Twitter began making fun of the Marlins immediately:

Complex Sports @ComplexSports

The Florida Marlins situation rn: http://t.co/ecCKMxGuKm

El Flaco @bomani_jones

ah, it’s raining by marlins park. it’s entirely possible it’s not raining anywhere else on earth but directly over the stadium.

katie @katiebraves

Marlins grounds crew http://t.co/ISUVJStYO2

Dan Carson @TheDoctorCarson

“Where we’re going, we don’t need roofs.” http://t.co/SFlqtO3Ekp

Orin James Romain @orinromain

@JeffSchultzAJC marlins logic explained http://t.co/qJwzuv5NoX

As a former longtime Florida resident, I can't give the Marlins a pass here. There are only two certainties in Florida: death and rain. Taxes aren't even a thing there.

With that in mind, there's no excuse for ignoring the one phenomenon that happens every day in this swampy hootenanny south of Georgia. Rain in Florida is like winter in Westeros: It may not be present, but rest assured, it is coming.

As for the Marlins, the team says it has no idea why the roof remained open, via Barry Jackson of the Miami Herald

Barry Jackson @flasportsbuzz

Marlins say they have no explanation as of yet for why roof wasn't closed sooner. Roof now closed, play resuming after 16-minute rain delay.

Welp!

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I bet a Florida Man is to blame.

Dan is on Twitter. He misses Florida in the weirdest way.

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