'Battioke' Roundup: Michael Beasley Sings Vanessa Carlton, Erik Spoelstra Dances

At the end of every winter, current and former members of the Miami Heat and its front office converge on a stage in South Florida to commune in a philanthropic massacre of the vocal arts.

Yup, "Battioke" is back. 

Shane Battier's annual karaoke competition raising money for college scholarships for underprivileged youths went down Tuesday at The Fillmore Miami Beach at Jackie Gleason Theater on South Beach. Per usual, several performances occurred that will nest in your mind's eye forever.

Let's start with Michael Beasley, who donned a Pharrell hat and joined teammate Henry Walker in a rendition of Vanessa Carlton's "A Thousand Miles." 

ESPN NBA Insider Tom Haberstroh posted Vines of the performance.

Beasley, like, really went for it.

Pat Riley also joined in, barreling through The Isley Brothers' "Twist and Shout."

The crown jewel of the night was Heat coach Erik Spoelstra singing Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean." He took the stage with girlfriend Nikki Sapp. He wore a fedora. Pop may never be the same.

Don't let his non-singing fool you—this is strong work. 

Like any karaoke veteran, Spoelstra understands that the singing is secondary. The true key to karaoke is stage presence—working the room, bringing in the audience and establishing dominance. You're not a singer. You're not here to get a record deal. You're here for well vodka and the spotlight. You're here to own it.

Anyway, if you can think of a better way to raise money for charity than what's essentially a delayed company holiday party, I'm all ears.

And don't step to the Spo. At any given moment, he's about two Sea Breezes from popping the trunk and breaking out the cardboard mats.

Dan is on Twitter, pouring some out for Mike Jack.