Stained Glass Backboards Are Completely Unnecessary and Beautiful

Necessary? Is it necessary for me to bank in runners off handcrafted, artisanal glass inspired by early Romanesque architectural trends?

No, but they look cool, and I'd really like to do it.

Yep, stained glass backboards are now a reality thanks to the good people at Literally Balling. Headed up by designer Victor Solomon, the boards "are an aesthetic convergence of historical opulence and our modern day kings of court." Which is a fancy way of saying, "The official hoop of the 2015 Vatican Dunk Contest (Powered by Sprite)."

According to the Literally Balling website, there are three backboard designs currently available. Each piece is handmade and reportedly takes over 100 hours of exacting labor from start to finished product.

Now, I'm not familiar with the witchcraft/metallurgy required to treat and form these pieces, but one would assume the glass is thick enough to deal with forceful bricks and dunks. I also submit that all NBA nets should be replaced with gold chain links laced with crystals, allowing poster dunks to end with the victim being showered with glimmering rocks. I think that's a win-win.

Your move, Adam Silver. If we're comfortable with putting name tags on jerseys, we can have stained glass backboards for Easter games.

Dan is on Twitter. He wants to see Pope Francis and Zach LaVine in a three-round dunk-off.