Funniest Mistaken Identities in Recent Sports History
We've all had our minds jumbled at one time or another, recognizing a familiar face but not quite knowing where to place it. Sometimes you're in a race with your friend (or yourself) to pinpoint whether you've seen this person on TV or perhaps on that weirdly intimate drunken evening last month.
Sometimes you’ll get lucky and your brain will throw you a bone, despite all those years you spent killing its cells, and the answer will just magically appear before you. More often than not, however, it seems that we get close, but not entirely there. Seriously, it happens to the best of us. And the worst of us.
.jpg?w=256 "Colts Jaguars Football")
Malcolm Butler
Patriots cornerback Malcolm Butler went undrafted out of West Alabama in 2014, recording just 15 tackles in 11 regular-season games his rookie year. Outside New England, he basically didn’t exist until the last-second game-clinching interception he made in Super Bowl XLIX.
So invisible was he that many Pats fans on Twitter mistakenly tweeted at Colts cornerback Darius Butler in the wake of Malcolm Butler’s play. Having played in four high-profile rivalry games against the Patriots over the last three seasons, Darius was just a more familiar name in New England. Not anymore.
"Word. Thats BS RT @mermaidsbisshh: "@RapSheet: Tom Brady is the Super Bowl XLIX MVP" sorry but @DariusJButler is.
— Darius Butler (@DariusJButler) February 2, 2015"
"Im just here so I dont get finedRT @ProSportsChick: @DariusJButler YOU Sir. YOU are amazing. SO blessed to have you on our team. #PatsNation
— Darius Butler (@DariusJButler) February 2, 2015"
"Did it w/ my 👀 closed #easybutton RT @NathalyVelandia: #SuperBowlXLIX congratulations @patriots What kind of interception @DariusJButler 😍
— Darius Butler (@DariusJButler) February 2, 2015"
At least Darius had some fun with the whole thing. And since he had all that extra time on his hands after losing to the Patriots in the AFC Championship, some people actually got to hear back from an NFL player, whereas Malcolm probably would’ve been too busy.
Venus and Serena Williams
Sisters Venus and Serena Williams certainly aren’t twins. Venus has at least three inches on Serena, who has about a dozen Grand Slam wins on Venus.
But there’s a family resemblance there, in addition to the fact that they both play tennis, often together, so fan mix-ups between the two aren’t quite as egregious as others on this list.
"Lady: "Has anyone ever told you that you look like Venus Williams?" Me: "Yes. ALL the time"
— Serena Williams (@serenawilliams) December 22, 2014"
"Lady: "Wait. What's the skinny one name? Not the skinny one" Me: So I look like the fat one?" Lol hahah
— Serena Williams (@serenawilliams) December 22, 2014"
There’s only a problem with this when a person decides to work out the confusion in her own mind by enlisting the help of Serena Freaking Williams to help figure out if it’s she or her sister that’s “fat.”
That’s something you work out on your own time—and if you have a little extra time, how about some better identifying adjectives altogether?
Brandon Marshall
Perennial Pro Bowler Brandon Marshall is a superstar wide receiver who once played for the Broncos, but now plays for the Bears. While Brandon Marshall is a relatively unheralded linebacker who once played for the Jaguars, but now plays for the Broncos.
Don’t fret my pets, nobody is slipping you crazy pills. That’s a little confusing. The Marshall fellas don’t bear much of a physical resemblance to one another, but there’s more than enough overlap to cause justifiable incertitude. Overall, receiver Marshall is a much bigger deal, but linebacker is much more active on Twitter.
Which means the impact of the mistaken identity stuff impacts linebacker Marshall to an overwhelming degree. He doesn’t seem to mind though!
"Everybody goin off on me like I’m playin right now lol
— Brandon Marshall (@BMarshh54) September 23, 2014"
"Tweetin and playin at the same damn time “@NickNameNate: @BMarshh54 how the hell are you tweeting right now?”
— Brandon Marshall (@BMarshh54) September 23, 2014"
"😂“@52JMJ: @BMarshh54 you’ll never be as good as jerry rice man… Your a bum”
— Brandon Marshall (@BMarshh54) September 23, 2014"
"😂. Priorities“@Koltan: @BMarshh54 wow… you care more about getting re-injured than helping out people’s fantasy teams. You are so selfish”
— Brandon Marshall (@BMarshh54) September 23, 2014"
All press is good press, right? And the identical monikers actually gets linebacker Marshall a little more attention than he would otherwise receive.
Lee Trevino
A few years ago, PGA great Lee Trevino sat down with David Feherty and recounted his own hilariously awkward incident of mistaken identity.
According to Trevino, he was tending to something in his own lawn with a shovel, when a woman driving by in a white Cadillac stopped and said, “Young man, do you speak English?”
“Yes, ma'am,” he replied, “What can I do for you?” The woman then asked Trevino how much he was being paid for his landscaping services, to which he replied, “The lady in this house lets me sleep with her.” #dropsthemic #slowclap
Pete Carroll
Chris Parrish is quite a noteworthy water skier who, in 2014, met quite a noteworthy NFL coach and enthusiastically posted about it on Instagram. It was Seahawks coach Pete Carroll, who he encountered at some sort of meet and greet. Unless “greet and meet” means something entirely different, which is possible.
I’d consult the Urban Dictionary just to be sure, if only I had ever read a single thing on that site that I didn’t immediately regret knowing about.
Either way, it’s hard to imagine this get together was something official or sanctioned by Seattle. Otherwise there probably would’ve been someone on hand to tell Parrish that the man he was shaking hands with is decidedly not Pete Carroll. Not all white men with great hair wearing Seahawks gear are Pete Carroll.
"But that's not Pete Carr... NM RT @SquareWatcher @cjzero pic.twitter.com/rg0r2rkZ6W
— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) July 22, 2014"
In fact, most of them aren’t. CJ Fogler knows what's up.
Dirk Nowitzki
Mavericks power forward Dirk Nowitzki is a very distinctive man with very distinctive features. First of all, he’s German, historically a proud people not known for being wallflowers. A German accent has to stand out like a sore thumb in Dallas. Then there’s the fact that he’s 7’0" tall, with a fair amount of unkempt, shaggy blond hair—on top of his head and sometimes occupying as much as 65 percent of his face.
With a smile you can probably see from space, Nowitzki has to be unmistakably recognized everywhere he goes in the U.S. (maybe he can blend better in Deutschland). Seriously, I just looked out my eighth-floor window in D.C. and I’m pretty sure I can see him from here. Nowitzki has three inches, 30 pounds and about a decade on teammate Chandler Parsons. They are both white though, so there’s that.
That’s why it’s so hard to believe that some clueless barista in Dallas recently confused the two. Parsons posted proof of the mix-up to Instagram, posing solemnly with his “Dirk” coffee cup. There is, of course, always the chance that either Parsons or someone at Starbucks came up with the idea and decided to give the public a laugh.
Either way, it worked. Let’s be cockeyed optimists and assume the whole thing played out just as it seems.
André Villas-Boas, David Moyes and Robin van Persie
Football fans in the U.S. regularly bring the haterade on Twitter, but as a whole they’ve got absolutely nothing on soccer fans. Athletes, as we all know, are often paid handsomely to offset this kind of widespread abuse. Random people who happen to share some portion of their name and (sometimes, but not always) the same vague geographic location are not.
In March 2014, Deadspin’s Barry Petchesky published tweets exchanged by three complete strangers with just one thing in common. One is often mistaken for Manchester United striker Robin van Persie, the other two women in some way related to David Moyes and André Villas-Boas, who have collectively managed seven different teams since 2011.
"I am no relation to the football manager David Moyes. Can people please stop mentioning me in tweets, I'm pretty sure he has his own account
— Sarah Moyes (@moyesy) March 25, 2014"
"@moyesy same thing happened to me a few months back. It's bizarre and frustrating, but it'll (mostly) blow over.
— Ashley Van Buren (@avb) March 26, 2014"
"@moyesy welcome to the mistaken identity club. You have had it really bad since man united lost to man city. My sympathies.
— RaviVisvesvaraPrasad (@rvp) March 27, 2014"
"@avb yeah I heard, I'm very much looking forward to it blowing over! x
— Sarah Moyes (@moyesy) March 27, 2014"
"@rvp @moyesy My guy gets fired a lot. So I get some breaks.
— Ashley Van Buren (@avb) March 27, 2014"
Hats off to Ashley Van Buren, who really had to dig deep for that silver lining.
Dwight Howard
Early last year, three unsuspecting sisters had a chance run-in with Rockets big man Dwight Howard. One of them tweeted about a photo, gushing about the “humbling” experience and how hilarious the NBA superstar was during the their meeting.
Although it wasn’t so much their mistake as the Dwight Howard imposter going out of his way to trick them. The girls don’t seem like huge basketball fans, so when some passably tall weirdo wannabe introduces himself as the three-time Defensive Player of the Year, they believed him.
Why wouldn’t they take the guy at his word? We all meet new people from time to time, and assuming you don’t lie regularly about your own identity, we tend to give those people the benefit of the doubt about theirs.
"My sisters and I with NBA Superstar @DwightHoward!!! He was really nice, cool, HUMBLE, and had us laughing too!!! 😁 pic.twitter.com/5tPl1ewMzp
— Alexis ❤️ (@_glossylipsss15) February 9, 2014"
Getting clowned by not Dwight Howard is equal parts weird and hilarious. Dwight Howard letting you know you got clowned by not Dwight Howard is just plain hilarious.
Chris Conte
In December 2013, the Bears lost to the Packers 33-28 at home on Soldier Field, capping a fairly disastrous 8-8 season. There’s always plenty of blame to go around in Chicago come December, but that day free safety Chris Conte shouldered a fair bit of it for his unimpressive defensive performance.
Naturally Bears fans from far and wide immediately logged on Twitter to tell Conte to go kill himself. Because apparently that’s a proportional response to losing a football game these days! You’d think they’d be used to this by now in the Windy City.
Anyway! Online hecklers aren’t known for being detail-oriented, so there were countless irate Bears fans harassing @chrisconte, completely unaware (or unconcerned) that the Chris Conte they were menacing is a local news reporter in Tennessee.
"People are so mean!! They think I play for the Bears pic.twitter.com/oWaV1wpGIf
— Chris Conte (@chrisconte) December 30, 2013"
"And now they're suggesting this poor NFL player commit suicide. Awful pic.twitter.com/dAzTxvz663
— Chris Conte (@chrisconte) December 30, 2013"
"@manateesRkool wins for meanest tweet EVER. Can we please blow up his feed with how much he sucks #MeanTweets pic.twitter.com/2xx6MzPXoD
— Chris Conte (@chrisconte) December 30, 2013"
Nashville’s Chris Conte did a story on his experience being mistaken with Chicago’s Chris Conte.
Arian Foster
Last April, a lovely Texan named Jenni Bazard tweeted out a photo of her and Texans running back Arian Foster. Running into the starting running back of your favorite NFL team at a bar would be awesome, so you can’t blame the girl for being excited.
Pub Fiction is the name of the establishment, which is just too fitting, since the guy in the photo was just pretending to be Foster. Finding out you got hosed by some imposter from randos on Twitter would suck, but finding out from source himself definitely sucks just a little bit harder—at least in terms of initial embarrassment!
"Lol I appreciate the love but that's not me. RT @j__baz: Ran into @ArianFoster at Pub Fiction last night! ... pic.twitter.com/FoViIxzCmF
— Feeno (@ArianFoster) April 6, 2014"
If Bazard was embarrassed, she handled it like a champ. The only acceptable response to something like this is to laugh it off.
"#GottaRollWithIt hahaha too funny
— Jenni Bazard (@j__baz) April 6, 2014"
Not that the whole affair was exactly a tragedy, but it had a very happy ending for Bazard. A couple days after tweeting the photo with the faux Foster, she had the opportunity to meet up with the real deal for a do-over photo op.
""@ArianFoster: For being such a good sport about the whole thing, I met up with @j__baz and ga... http://t.co/QVOuga7NwR" I appreciate it!!!
— Jenni Bazard (@j__baz) April 19, 2014"
Michael Jordan
In 2006, a man named Allen Heckard took ridiculous lawsuits to a whole new level when he filed suit against Bulls legend Michael Jordan and Nike founder Phil Knight.
The Portland man was seeking a total of $832 million in damages between the two, all because Heckard said he was sick of strangers noting the resemblance between he and His Airness.
Although both he and Jordan are both bald black males with an earring and a preference for Air Jordans, the resemblance isn’t particularly striking (click here to see a photo and judge for yourself).
The lawsuit alone is funny, but Heckard’s impressively simplistic logic at how he reached the $416 million figure he was seeking from Jordan is even funnier. “Well, you figure with my age and you multiply that by seven and, ah, then I turn around and, ah, I figure that’s what it all boils down to.” That per CBS News.
The frivolous suit was almost certainly thrown out by a very irritated judge, but I like to think Heckard got everything he deserved and more.
Curt Schilling and David Wells
Recently Saturday Night Live celebrated its 40th anniversary, and apparently the after-party was substantially more epic than the three-and-a-half-hour prime-time special. Among the countless celebrity guests in attendance was music mogul-turned-sports agent Jay Z.
He may have a lot of things going for him—not the least of which is wife Beyonce—but according to YES Network announcer David Cone, Jay Z could probably stand to do a little brushing up on his baseball knowledge.
"Funniest story of the afterparty was when Jay Z thought @BoomerWells33 was Curt Shilling and asked him about bloody sock
— David Cone (@dcone36) February 19, 2015"
"@dcone36 im still in shock.
— david wells (@BoomerWells33) February 19, 2015"
"Even tho he thought I was schilling he's still one cool dude. And schilling must be one good looking dude. (NOT)!!!!!!!!
— david wells (@BoomerWells33) February 19, 2015"
"@TylerDNorton @dcone36 @BoomerWells33 Ouch....
— Curt Schilling (@gehrig38) February 19, 2015"
It’s hard to tell from Cone’s account whether anyone bothered to correct Jay Z, or if David Wells got into the spirit of the evening and decided to work on his improv. Maybe he had some bloody sock material in the hopper and wanted to test it out?
Who knows. Hopefully someone said something though! Sparing Jay Z's feelings in the moment isn't worth much if you're only doing it so you can embarrass him on Twitter later.
Tom Brady
Patriots quarterback Tom Brady is handsome, successful, and generally comes off as a very nice person. He is, however, an NFL quarterback, which means periodically he’s going to be targeted for verbal abuse from opposing fans. And that’s without the many magnifying factors!
Like the fact that he plays in New England, for Bill Belichick, and has won four Super Bowls. Then, of course, there’s wife Gisele Bundchen, one of the most beautiful women in the world and one of the richest, too—she earns upward of $20 million more annually than Tommy Terrific.
There’s just a lot to hate there. So where do sports fans gather in droves to vent rage these days? Twitter, duh. The only problem with that is that Tom Brady isn’t on Twitter. Tom Bradby, on the other hand, is, in fact, on Twitter. Every time quarterback Tom Brady does something noteworthy, good or bad, political editor Tom Bradby hears about it.
Super Bowl Sunday 2015 was a particularly eventful night:
"I hate you @tombradby
— Eric (@ramseur) February 1, 2015"
"The @packers played a good game. To bad @tombradby is such a loser.
— Pat Delaney (@patd67) February 2, 2015"
"@tombradby "Deep down in my stomach, with every inch of me, I pure, straight hate you! But, God damn it, do I respect you!" -Wes Mantooth
— John Cooper Jr (@JohnnyfnCoops) January 10, 2015"
Thankfully, it's not all bad.
"Even if you're rooting for the wrong team today, we can all agree that @tombradby is the most beautiful player on the field today
— Jenna Sukernek (@jennalikesstuff) February 1, 2015"
"MY HATS OFF TO TOM BRADY. GUY TAKES MAD HEAT FROM EVERYONE EVEN FROM ME BUT DAMM MAN. YOU ARE A PROFESSIONAL FOR SURE @tombradby
— Leone (@HassanA3) February 2, 2015"
At least he has a sense of humor about it!
"Apparently, the consensus is I played really well last night. Thanks to my fans for all their tweets.
— tom bradby (@tombradby) February 2, 2015"
"And for the record, I have never deflated any balls.
— tom bradby (@tombradby) February 2, 2015"
Derrick Rose
Bulls point guard Derrick Rose has been hampered with injuries dating back to 2012, but before that he was the NBA’s Most Valuable Player in 2011 and the Rookie of the Year in 2009.
Overall, the guy was and remains a pretty big deal. Maybe Rose isn't like a LeBron James big deal, but he's been around long enough that, at the very least, he should be easily recognized as a different human being than LeBron.
"MY SISTER AND HER FRIENDS JUST MET DERRICK ROSE DAMN SHES SO LUCKY SMH!!! pic.twitter.com/jo2jGvyVjg
— mouqeet the G.O.A.T (@mouqeet_) April 16, 2014"
Or not!
As you can imagine, the girl who tweeted the photo heard about her ALL CAPS MISSTEP from scores of snarky Twitterers. The original tweet has amassed nearly 5,500 retweets and has been favorited over 3,300 times since April 2014.
.jpg?w=480 "Colts Jaguars Football")
