Please Go Far, Favre Away

To express my opinions of the Brett Favre saga, I was not sure what would be the best format. Until it hit me; everyone loves fan mail. Well, maybe this isn't exactly fan mail...

Dear Mr. Favre,

Another July has come and gone and once again I have been inundated with coverage of your 'Will he or won't he' saga. I flip through a variety of NFL programs and your name seems to always be on a graphic at the bottom of the screen. As a sports fan, I can't get away from you.

I see reporters stationed on your lawn, pictures of you throwing the pigskin around with some high school kids. And then it's a commercial "break" and I see you in a Wrangler advertisement.

Last season, I was into it. You were coming to my New York Jets and were going to turn around the franchise. I bought my Favre jersey, wore it on Sundays and was real excited; then, weeks 13-17 happened. Through the rain at the Meadowlands and snow in Seattle, you couldn't get us to the playoffs, let alone a Super Bowl. And most of us Jets fans knew it was time for you to hang it up, trade in your football pants for a pair of Wranglers.

But Brett, instead of just holding steadfast on your retirement, you took a trip to the amusement park. You waited in line while the Vikings rode your rollercoaster for a few months and then decided nah, I'm not getting on. Brad Childress surely needed to use a barf bag after that ride.

So, it's finally over; we think. You have officially, officially retired. Now, not to be rude Mr. Favre, but can you please just go away for awhile? For your and my own good. Give us some time to forget the end of last season and these offseason circuses. You should be remembered for your Lambeau leaps, your performance in Oakland that Monday night, a day after your dad died, not this summer silliness.

Give us some time and our collective minds will flesh out all of this absurdity. Go to Disney World and hang with Goofy or Mickey; go to Mickey Ds and drink a McCafe; just stay far away from the lens for a bit and I promise you'll be remembered the right way. And hey, I'll even go to Sears and buy a fresh new pair of Wrangler jeans.

Sincerely,

Your best interests