Gymnast Wins Gold, Gets Chased Off Podium by Bee

Continuing their effort to terrorize mankind’s finest athletes, a rogue bee attacked two medal winners at the FIG Artistic Gymnastics World Championship on Friday.

The primary target appeared to be Simone Biles, a 17-year-old American gymnast who had just won her second consecutive all-around title at the competition. Biles stepped onto the medal podium to accept her award when another competitor pointed out the winged insurgent hiding in her flower bouquet.

Biles noticed the bee, and chaos ensued.

The gold-medal winner hopped off the platform screaming and ducked as the bee dove toward her head. The tiny bombardier also made a pass at bronze medalist Kyla Ross, who reacted similarly.

Why was it there? What did it want?

The simple answer is “pollen,” but the grim reality is that these flying insects are controlled by a hive mind bent on exterminating humanity from the earth. They’re persistent in their desires, and most recently tried to take out tennis professional Kimiko Date-Krumm at the U.S. Open in August.

Fortunately for Biles, the bee left the podium without incident. The gymnast later explained to USA Today reporter Nancy Armour (h/t For The Win’s Chris Chase) why she was so afraid.

You don’t have to explain yourself, Simone.

Nobody does bugs except for beekeepers, who are just courageous prison wardens keeping an eye on this aerial menace for the sake of the human race.

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