Kleeman's Jumphook: Suns, Odom, Lee, Rubio, Vegas SL, and Other Notes

Welcome to the newest installment of Kleeman's Jumphook, the crappiest supposed-to-be weekly column since...

See, folks, in addition to my bachelor's from UT-Austin, I also graduated from the Conan O' Brien school of self-deprecation.

Remember that this is one moron's viewpoint, so please comment and leave yours.

Steve Nash signs multi-year extension, but have Suns burnt to a crisp?

The Phoenix Suns failed to qualify for the playoffs—despite having a healthy lineup of Nash, Amar'e Stoudemire, Grant Hill, and Shaquille O'Neal for most of the season—in large part because of the team's inner dysfunction and allergies to acceptable, NBA-level defense.

Remember that this team allowed 140 points in a do-or-die game against the Dallas Mavericks when it still had a puncher's chance at a postseason berth.

Way to go for it with a season on the line, Phoenix. Way to go.

So, with that colossal failure fresh on the minds of Arizona's pro basketball faithful, and O'Neal's salary dumped in an exchange with the Cleveland Cavaliers, what does management do next?

It re-signs the 35-year-old, worst defender of that aforementioned bunch.

Robert Sarver will pay Nash $11 million and $13 million over the next two seasons for one ill-advised reason.

Just like George Michael couldn't stop obsessing about what was behind or in every bush, this embarrassed franchise can't let go of the empire and dynasty that never was.

Nash will continue to complete breathtaking passes to his athletic teammates like few point guards can.

Lots of guys can average more than five assists, but few would dare ever attempt some of the dishes Nash does on any given possession.

He will throw up occasional 30-point nights and be every bit as good offensively as he was in his MVP seasons, provided his back does not betray him.

What he will also do is get shredded defensively by any opponent with quickness and a clever first step. The humiliation suffered because of his useless defense will only get worse with age.

That might pass if he was surrounded by players with a high defensive IQ. It will be a disaster because the Suns' frontcourt star is one of the dumbest defenders in league history.

Under beloved D'Antoni disciple Alvin Gentry, the Suns will average triple digit scoring. Again.

They will struggle to make the playoffs, though, because they won't stop anybody.

This isn't just on the fraudulent Nash. Richardson is a dreadful one-on-one defender, backup point guard Goran Dragic is worse than his starting superior and Robin Lopez has been too soft to make effective stands against competent front court players.

Only Louis Amundson and Hill are guaranteed to play inspired defense every night—and if you're counting on those two to carry out such a necessary operation, you're screwed.

So, who's running (ruining) the Suns?

At the trade deadline, Steve Kerr was entertaining offers for Stoudemire as if the forward had killed his mother and ran over his dog.

It seemed the Suns couldn't wait to get rid of the mercurial All-Star.

Now, if Stoudemire can prove he's healthy again, Kerr wants to talk about an extension to take him off of the vaunted 2010 free agent market as he did with Nash.

Who the hell is managing this sideshow?

It is Sarver's fault that Joe Johnson, Rajon Rondo, Rudy Fernandez, Kurt Thomas and several others could still play for the Suns but don't.

I have read nothing that suggests otherwise. Yes, the Atlanta Hawks threw ridiculous, franchise savior money at Johnson that would have been difficult to match. I'll give Sarver that much.

Still, it's hard not to view him as a meddling cheapskate who cares more about the bottom line than winning.

Kerr, meanwhile, passed the point of being a moron months ago. Consider the Shaq salary dump a pathetic, depressing admission that the rookie GM's brainchild—the risky trade that sent Shawn Marion to Miami—was an epic flop.

Where Kerr erred was in thinking he could transform a roster anchored by defenseless All-Stars into a more versatile version of the San Antonio Spurs, the team that has tortured this decade's Suns.

At the time of the trade, Kerr said his team's interior defense was amongst the worst in the league, which it was. A collapse against the Spurs the previous week, in which Tim Duncan abused Stoudemire in the low block, surely compelled him to follow through with such a whacky idea.

Give Kerr credit for trying something he thought would bolster a carpool lane-like interior resistance.

But, Shaq was never the answer. The "Big Cactus" sold a few more tickets and elicited a few laughs, but the only thing he bolstered was the franchise's payroll.

Blame Kerr, though, not Shaq for the deal's failure.

Then, the GM sabotaged Terry Porter by hiring him for a tenuous coaching gig at which he was doomed to fail.

Kerr had to know that players accustomed to freedom and lackadaisical defense would not respond well to Porter's precise, Spur-like demands.

Depending on what you read, more than half of the Suns roster mutinied to oust Porter.

Raja Bell and Boris Diaw slammed his system after they were dealt to Charlotte. Stoudemire hated the way the rookie coach was using him.

Nash and Hill found his style belligerent and unwelcome.

Even if Nash was the player who punched that final hole in Porter's ticket out of town, his teammates did plenty to sway Kerr to admit yet another mistake. No one should  give them a pass.

Kerr would do all fans a favor quit his managerial gig and returned to TNT as an analyst and Yahoo! Sports as a columnist.

At least then, we would likely see that Sarver, not Kerr, is running this defenseless operation.

Why Lamar Odom will re-sign with L.A, if he hasn't already:

There is no need to cite any sources here. Common sense, that ol' friend of Thomas Paine, should do the trick.

The Portland Trail Blazers, the only team that can give Odom the $50 million, five-year deal he seeks, do not want him.

Go to the Oregonian's Web site and you'll see paragraphs in numerous offseason stories—save a John Canzano opinion piece—with this line: "The Blazers have no interest in pursuing Lamar Odom."

I find it hard to believe that Portland GM Kevin Pritchard sent out feelers to the Odom camp and was immediately rejected. Had he done that, there would be stories about it.

News like that travels quickly.

The Miami Heat have offered the versatile forward a $34 million, five-year deal at the full mid-level exception he can accept at any time.

The most attractive thing about Pat Riley's offer might be that Odom could opt out after three years if he wanted and seek another multi-year payday.

Here is why South Beach fans should not hold their breath in this facetious sweepstakes:

Odom knows he's not getting $10 million, five-year offers because only Portland can afford it, and no one wants to trust him to be productive for that contract length.

Any Lakers fan worried about losing the most loved guy in the defending champions' locker room should thank all of those inconsistent, maddening performances from 2004-2007 for this stalemate.

Odom did you a favor by not looking like a player worthy of Scottie Pippen comparisons in the first, post-Shaq years.

With the only snag in negotiations being contract length, I would expect Jerry Buss to swallow some pride and up his offer to include a fourth year with a team or player option.

Odom was part of the Artest recruitment, and the two forwards have been long-time buddies. He would have to take $5 million less to play on a Heat squad that lost in the first round versus a slight pay deduction to get close to the offer he wants from the defending champion's ownership.

You do the easy math.

Mark Cuban might have said on NBA TV that his front office has contacted Odom's agent, but consider any overture a formality.

The last thing Cuban wants to do is spend all of his mid-level and then some on a guy who will wish he was in Los Angeles.

The Lakers and Odom need each other like Bert and Ernie, Samson and Delilah and Rogers and Hammerstein.

One way or another, the two sides will meet again at the altar and say "I do" for at least three more years.

THE LATEST: The L.A. Times reported that talks have resumed between Odom and the Lakers. An unreliable L.A. radio host said Wednesday morning a source had told him the sides had agreed on a four-year, $40 million deal. Believe what you will.

No market for David Lee?

New York Knicks forward David Lee was second in the league last year in double-doubles behind only Dwight Howard.

He has become a Big Apple fan favorite and the epitome of the new Mike D'Antoni regime.

So, why does he still not have a team? Why are European clubs the only current bidders?

Here's an idea: defense. He can't play any.

Pritchard and other GMs with limited cap space have expressed interest but talks do not appear serious.

For Portland, the idea of chasing another restricted free agent might feel like taking a bath in hot vomit.

The Blazers already lost Paul Millsap when the Utah Jazz matched their $10 million per year offer.

Hedo Turkoglu bolted at the 11th hour when an agreement seemed imminent.

Does Pritchard want to chase a guy not worth anything close to what those two were paid—to be a backup to Lamarcus Aldridge?

Lee is one of the game's best rebounders, but his primitive offense comes thanks to the fast paced nature of D'Antoni's gimmick ball. He might struggle to defend the lampshade above my desk as I write this scathing criticism.

The blue-collar forward would be more than worth a mid-level offer for a few years, but anything in the $7-$10 million range would be absurd.

Ricky en los Estados Unidos: si o no?

Yahoo! Sports first reported that new Minnesota Timberwolves GM David Kahn would fly to Spain to help fifth pick Ricky Rubio with his costly $8.2 million buyout from DKV Joventut.

Per NBA rules, the Wolves cannot contribute more than $500,000 to the cause.

Then, the Associated Press reported Wednesday that Rubio does not want to play for his estranged boyhood team next year—even if Minnesota cannot sign him.

Kahn will compete against other squads in Europe who would love to have a player of Rubio's celebrity, assuming a buyout deal can be reached.

Whether this 17-year-old kid can succeed in the pros like most think he can remains to be seen.

Count me in the Brandon Jennings camp, as someone who questions Rubio's preparedness to handle the humility and bustle of the NBA grind.

The last time a sunken franchise counted on a teenager to be its savior, Kwame Brown happened.

Rubio's staunch supporters, namely Bill Simmons, would tell you that averages of six points, six rebounds and three assists with a broken hand in the Beijing Olympics is fantastic for such a youngster.

Simmons would tell you that Brown had never competed against the kind of talent at 17 Rubio has.

Playing against top high schoolers and 12 of the best NBA ballers in the world are two different things.

Still, can Rubio defend in the NBA at all given his skinny frame? Since he can't shoot, he's small, and he's nowhere near as quick as Tony Parker, how will he score?

If Kahn can get the Spanish sensation over to the states this year, it will put more pressure on his oddball decision to draft back-to-back point guards who project as starters.

Given his impressive showing in Vegas (more on why you shouldn't fawn over that later), Jonny Flynn has the makings of a keeper. He can play.

Kahn has been adamant in saying he does not plan to trade either guard.

Good luck with that.

Speaking of Vegas...

Too many people get excited about what someone on their favorite team did in the annual Las Vegas Summer League.

How many times do you have to see Nik Caner-Medley and Mamadou N'Diaye there to realize that the week-long event is populated with guys with no prayer of surviving on a pro roster?

Remember that Jerryd Bayless averaged 30 points as last summer's tournament MVP only to rot on the Blazers bench as a spare player in need of refinement.

To use an example from my hometown Houston Rockets, anyone remember Donte Greene?

The Syracuse standout poured in 40 points in his first Summer League outing and some posters on the Houston Chronicle message boards were convinced the Rockets had found the next Dwyane Wade.

Give me a break.

The project forward then stunk up the gym the rest of the week and was eventually the key part of the deal that sent Ron Artest to Houston.

What has he done since that trade in Sacramento? Could you pick him out of a lineup?

My point is simple. You can write recaps and enjoy it, but get rid of the notion that this event predicts future success.

To be truthful, most general managers learn only about the guys that can't play.

Blake Griffin's 27 and 12 debut was nice, but Mike Dunleavy and the L.A. Clippers brass do not expect him to do that on opening night in October.

What players do in Vegas is show management where they need to improve or validate previously held opinions.

Hasheem Thabust?

Less than two weeks into his NBA career, Tanzanian-born Hasheem Thabeet already faces questions about his desire and viability as a pro.

While his averages of less than seven boards against fringe rotation players last week is cause for the Grizzlies concern, it is asinine to throw out the 'b' word so early in the evaluation process.

Memphis execs knew he would be a project. Fans should treat him as such. If the guy is still playing like he did in Vegas as late as April, then it might be time to worry about his prospects.

I'll give him a fair chance. You should, too.

Here are some links you should visit if you have a few minutes:

L.A. Times columnist Bill Plaschke's great piece on why the Lakers need to re-sign Odom and the Clippers need to forget Allen Iverson. http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-plaschke22-2009jul22,0,242695,full.column

Why the L.A. Clippers have pursued Iverson. http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/news?slug=aw-iversonclippers071409&prov=yhoo&type=lgns

Best of the crop is David D'Alessandro's piece in the New Jersey Star-Ledger on oddball incentives in NBA contracts. Fellow B/R colleague Andrew Ungvari linked to this piece in one of his columns. It was so good, that I had to do it, too.

Luke Ridnour gets $1.5 million more if he wins defensive player of the year! How many tequila shots did it take to agree on that one? http://www.nj.com/nets/index.ssf/2009/07/nj_nets_incentives.html