'Who Needs Reality?': Fantasy Football Sit-Start Dilemmas for Week 2 of 2014

I'd like to preface this article of wizard-like insight into fantasy football with an apology. 

I'd like to apologize, as I will weekly, for the projections of mine that failed to pan out from Week 1. While it is true that I possess the foresight of Raven-Symone, sometimes my visions of the future are murky and/or (mostly or) players decide to be less appealing than an untoasted English muffin. So to you, the Fantasy Players of Planet Earth (FPPE), I apologise, somewhat personally, but mostly on behalf of the NFL players who decided to bust or breakout without alerting me via Snapchat beforehand. 

So, without further ado, here is the first Yuck List of 2014*: 

• I recommended Geno Smith as a great quarterback start. Yuck! He finished 19th overall among quarterbacks, throwing only one touchdown. 
• I suggested that San Francisco 49ers running back Frank Gore would have a cake game against the miserable Dallas Cowboys' defense. The defense was indeed miserable, but Gore collected only 66 yards, finishing 40th among running backs. Yuck!
• I proclaimed that Carolina Panthers wide receiver Kelvin Benjamin would have a weak game, yet the rookie caught six balls for 92 yards and a touchdown. Not yuck, but yuck that I advised that sitting him would be a wise move. 
• T.Y. Hilton, the Indianapolis Colts' receiver, did not have a good game against my Denver Broncos as I projected he would. He caught only five balls for 41 yards. Rather yucky indeed. 
• Defenses, ALL of my defenses, make the yuck list. My recommended starts of the New York Jets, Pittsburgh Steelers and Chicago Bears finished 21st, 20th and 23rd, respectively. Meanwhile, my recommended sits, the San Francisco 49ers and the Carolina Panthers, finished 1st and 6th, respectively. Yuck to the 10th degree. I'll do better this week—I presume, anyway. 
  

*Please note that players who did not play or went down due to injury, such as Cam Newton or Ben Tate, respectively, will not be on the Yuck List, as injuries are unpreventable, unfortunate and unforeseeable. 

Now, I'm not in the business of patting myself on the back, so I won't tell you the GREAT projections I had in Week 1. 

Actually, that's a total lie, I love patting myself on the back. Here are a few of the reasons, as evidenced by my fantasy projections for Week 1, why I am fantastic. 

I present to you the first Yum List of 2014:

• My other three quarterback starts, Matt Ryan, Jay Cutler and Ben Roethlisberger, finished 1st, 5th and 8th among quarterbacks respectively. Yum!
• Rashad Jennings and C.J. Spiller, both recommended running back starts of mine, finished 8th and 16th, respectively, in standard fantasy scoring among running backs. Pretty yummy!
• Chicago Bears' tight end Martellus Bennett, whom I said should be in all lineups, finished 5th among tight ends. Meanwhile, Charles Clay of the Miami Dolphins and Heath Millers of the Pittsburgh Steelers did indeed stink, as I predicted they would.
• San Diego Chargers wide receiver Keenan Allen was absolutely shut down against the Arizona Cardinals, getting only 37 yards on five catches. I called it. Yum. 

Of course, the Yuck and Yum Lists are only a small sampling of the projections I made last week—they highlight the instances when I made extremely bad or wonderfully good calls. If I didn't mention a player from Week 1, it indicates that their stats did not make me look smart or stupid. A fine example from last week is Baltimore Ravens tight end Dennis Pitta. I recommended him as a start, and he finished 11th among tight ends in standard scoring leagues (although his 10 receptions did make him a stud in PPR leagues).

I'm neither going to congratulate nor criticize myself in these instances—they're just okay, fine, meh, blah etc. 

Now, let's move on to the Good Kids and the Bad Kids for Week 2. The Good Kids are players you're going to want to start, and the Bad Kids are those you are going to want to keep on your bench.

I know, I know... I'm so freaking clever. *back pats*

Please remember that I use a standard scoring system when projecting these points:

• 1 point per 10 rushing or receiving yards
• 1 point per 25 passing yards
• 6 points per each rushing or receiving touchdown
• 4 points for passing touchdowns
• -2 points for interceptions and fumbles lost

Also, kindly keep in mind that I am never going to preview "studs" here or players you drafted in your first or second rounds and should therefore always start. This would be boring and unnecessary. You know who these guys are, and they should always be in your starting lineup, barring injury. 

Finally, always be sure to keep stay tuned with the official NFL Injury Report to get the official word on who is in and who is out come game day.

Now, on to the Good Kids for Week 2. Buy them all a gumball!

Quarterbacks to Start

Once upon a time, Tom Brady was a must-start fantasy quarterback. Just like my dreams of being an NFL kicker, those days are long gone, and the New England Patriots' quarterback is now an on-the-fence starter, capable of top-five performances or chewier duds than movie candy. 

I'm thinking that this week will be one of those weeks when Brady shines. The Patriots were embarrassed by a loss to the Miami Dolphins in Week 1. Obviously, the Brady-Bill Belichick dynasty will eventually come to an end in New England, yet I don't think that time has come yet. Expect a solid, bounce-back game from Tom Brady and Co., one in which the quarterback throws for 310 yards and three touchdowns. 24 points. 

Tony Gutierrez/Associated Press

Other Solid Ball Throwers

• Jay Cutler, Chicago Bears: 330 yards, 3 touchdowns, 1 interception = 23 points
• Tony Romo, Dallas Cowboys: 350 yards, 3 touchdowns, 2 interceptions = 22 points
• Jake Locker, Tennessee Titans: 240 yards, 3 touchdowns = 21 points 

Running Backs to Start  

The Week 2 running back Good Kid of the Week goes to Frank Gore of the San Francisco 49ers. The veteran put up a bland stat line against the Dallas Cowboys in Week 1, yet I say he bounces back in Week 2 against a Chicago Bears defense who would have to worry about a refrigerator running (William Perry joke not intentional).

Expect 92 rushing yards, one touchdown and two catches for 18 yards from the vet. 16 points. (18 in PPR)

Other Solid Ball-Carriers

• Chris Ivory, New York Jets: He looked great in Week 1. Sure, it was against the Oakland Raiders, but looking great is looking great, and it's more than I can say about my Sunday. He's clearly the go-to ball-carrier for the Jets. 
• Chris Johnson, New York Jets: Yup, that's right, I like both New York Jets' running backs in Week 2. Johnson, like Ivory, was effective in Week 1, yet most of his fantasy success came through the air. I like him again in Week 2 against a Green Bay Packers defense that looked very vulnerable in Week 1 without defensive tackle B.J. Raji. 
• Doug Martin, Tampa Bay Bucs: This could be an awful selection, given that Martin looked quite terrible in Week 1, yet I like his chances to make up for it in Week 2. He faces a St. Louis Rams defense that just lost defensive end Chris Long, so the matchup is favorable. 

Wide Receivers to Start 

The pick of the week here goes to Indianapolis Colts wide receiver T.Y. Hilton. Currently on the Yuck List after letting me (and all of the FPPE) down in Week 1, I think Hilton will redeem himself this week when the Colts host the Philadelphia Eagles on Monday night. 

Michael Dwyer/Associated Press

Hilton had a bad game against the Denver Broncos, yet he was targeted 11 times, which is very promising. I don't expect that target figure to drop, although I do expect Hilton to haul in more than five of those passes. Expect a game in the ballpark of seven catches, 124 yards and a touchdown. 18 points. (25 in PPR)

Other Solid Ball-catchers: 

• Andrew Hawkins, Cleveland Browns: Hawkins saw 10 targets in Week 1, and he was able to catch eight of those passes. He is clearly comfortable with quarterback Brian Hoyer, and the Browns face the New Orleans Saints in Week 2; the same Saints that let Matt Ryan pass for 448 yards in Week 1.
  
• Dwayne Bowe, Kansas City Chiefs: There is a strong chance that Bowe finds himself on the Yuck List next week, but I'm taking that risk. I don't think he's going to have a phenomenal game, but expect the newly reinstated Bowe to score when the Chiefs travel to Denver in Week 2.
• Steve Smith, Baltimore Ravens: Yes, he collected 80 of his 118 yards on a long touchdown catch, yet Week 1 taught us that Smith has still got it, and that the Ravens have got no one else. He was targeted a league-high 15 times in Week 1. Yum. 

Tight Ends to Start

Matt Rourke/Associated Press

Zach Ertz isn't a household name yet, and honestly, he probably won't be one by the end of the season, but the Philadelphia Eagles man is going to finish the year as one of the league's best tight ends. 

The young whippersnapper has great size, (6'5", 250 lbs.), strength and speed. Also, he has the gift of playing the Indianapolis Colts, and they made Julius Thomas look like Superman playing against some kindergartners. He's a good kid this week for sure! Six catches, 95 yards and a touchdown. 15 points. (21 in PPR)

Other Solid Big Guys Who Catch Balls: 

• Delanie Walker, Tennessee Titans: Playing the Dallas Cowboys? My gosh, a pigeon would pick up a reception or two. An underrated tight end on an underrated passing offense? Sign him up for five receptions and probably a touchdown. 
• Travis Kelce, Kansas City Chiefs: Kelce only played 18 snaps in Week 1 and head coach Andy Reid has admitted that this was a mistake. This guy is super talented and still available in a large number of leagues. Pick him up and start him. I think he'll break out this week against my beloved Broncos.  
• Jimmy Graham, New Orleans Saints: Just kidding, he's a stud. But in case you were having an overreaction due to his average stat line from Week 1—STOP. 

Defenses to Start

The Tampa Bay Bucs are playing the St. Louis Rams in Week 2. I repeat, the Tampa Bay Bucs are playing the St. Louis Rams in Week 2. Shaun Hill is the Rams' quarterback. They scored six points in Week 1. 

That is all. 

Other Solid Defenses 

• New England Patriots (away against the Minnesota Vikings)
• Arizona Cardinals (away against the New York Giants)

Now, on to the Bad Kids. Slap a dunce cap on them and throw them in the corner!

Tim Umphrey/Associated Press

Quarterbacks to Sit

• Ben Roethlisberger, Pittsburgh Steelers: Big Ben made the Yum List after he came through and performed well following my suggestion to start him. This week, I am not so high on Big Ben and the Steelers. They looked great in Week 1 against the Cleveland Browns, yet I think they will look like a far less fluid football team against the Baltimore Ravens on Thursday night. 
• Andy Dalton, Cincinnati Bengals: The Bengals are good. They will be a playoff team this season. Their defense is fantastic, but Andy Dalton is still a bad fantasy quarterback. He might get the W, but he will not have the stats to get you the W. 
• Cam Newton, Carolina Panthers: Newton gets his second Bad Kid nomination of the season. He didn't play in Week 1 due to injury, so I'm saying that Week 2 will be his chance to misbehave and turn in a nice, sloppy performance. Oh, also, he bugs me.

Tom Lynn/Associated Press

Running Backs to Sit 

• Maurice Jones-Drew: If you feel good about starting him, you should probably find a new hobby other than fantasy football. He looked flatter than old cola against the New York Jets in Week 1. 
• Eddie Lacy and James Starks, Green Bay Packers: Whoever ends up starting for the Green Bay Packers in Week 2, I don't like them. They are bad kids. The New York Jets are for real against the run, and Aaron Rodgers and the Packers' passing game is going to be able to control this game at home. 
• Terrance West, Cleveland Browns: For all you FPPE owners who drafted Ben Tate, you may not have another choice, but I do not feel good about West in Week 2. The Cleveland Browns are hosting the New Orleans Saints, and I expect the Browns to have to pass the football more than run it. (see: Hawkins, Andrew)

Phelan M. Ebenhack/Associated Press

Wide Receivers to Sit 

• Devin Hester, Atlanta Falcons: Five receptions for 99 yards in Week 1 is pretty good, right? Well, yes, it is, but just like you should not suddenly bench Dez Bryant or Demaryius Thomas for bad games, you should not start Hester for one good game. Atlanta Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan is not going to pass for 448 yards each week, and between Roddy White, Julio Jones and Harry Douglas, there just isn't going to be enough love to go around for Hester on a weekly basis. 
• Allen Hurns, Jacksonville Jaguars: Fluke, fluke, fluke, fluke, fluke, fluke. Fluke. But seriously, fluke (he was still a great and fun story from Week 1 though).
• DeAndre Hopkins, Houston Texans: Yes, he had a good stat line in Week 1. Yes, the Oakland Raiders sound like an easy opponent. But Hopkins only got five targets in Week 1, and had he not turned one of those into a stellar 76-yard touchdown, his day would have stunk worse than old cheese. Hopkins is boom or bust. This week, I'm saying bust. 
• Anquan Boldin, San Francisco 49ers: This could end up blowing up in my face, but last season, Boldin followed a stellar Week 1 with a whimpering Week 2. Do trends repeat themselves? Against a Chicago Bears squad with a chip on their shoulder, I'll say yes. 

Brian Blanco/Associated Press

Tight Ends to Sit

• Greg Olsen, Carolina Panthers: Risky pick here, as I love everything about Olsen and he looked great in Week 1, yet I say his production goes down with Cam Newton back under center. He'll finish outside the top 12 this week. 
• Dwayne Allen, Indianapolis Colts: Allen is a pretty good player all around, yet for some reason, Andrew Luck prefers to throw to Coby "Long Bro Hair" Fleener. He got eight targets in Week 1 to only five for Allen. Yuck.  
• Anthony Fasano, Kansas City Chiefs: I said it last week, Anthony Fasano's middle name is "I'm Never Relevant." Unless the census bureau received a request, I don't think he changed it. Also, Travis Kelce. 

Defenses to Sit 

• Carolina Panthers (home against the Detroit Lions): I should probably not be so low on this Carolina Panthers defense, but alas, I am. When will I learn? The Detroit Lions' offense looked yummy in Week 1, and I think they will be tough guys to slow down with their myriad of weapons. 
• Tennessee Titans (home against the Dallas Cowboys): They looked great in Week 1, and the Cowboys looked messier than a frat boy after homecoming. That being said, I am feeling a bounce-back game from Tony Romo and his gang of offensive juggernauts, and I think the Titans' defense will be just a wee-bit overwhelmed. 

There you have it folks, your Good Kids and Bad Kids for Week 2 of the 2014 NFL Season. 

Same as last week, you can email any fantasy questions or compliments for me to [e-mail]. I cannot guarantee a response, hell, I cannot guarantee that I will remember the password to sign in to the account, but I can guarantee that Google's servers will deliver the email regardless of rain, sleet, hail or snow. 

Finally, if you find yourself sitting in your robe at the kitchen table, sipping an anxious cup of whiskey with coffee in it on Sunday morning, please, above all, TRUST YOUR GUT. This column—and every other fantasy "expert" column you may find on the Internet—is no match for the intuition that lies within you. 

Also, this is a clever way to relinquish myself of liability.

But seriously folks, throw caution to wind and reality in the blender. Sometimes a little fantasy is all you need. 

Who Needs Reality? 

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All stats courtesy of NFL.com and FFToday.com.