The Houston Rockets: An Idiot's Guide To Preventing a Breakdown

Hear ye, hear ye. Run for the hills!

Doomsday beckons upon the fair city of Houston and its Cinderella Franchise.

Someone must have really ticked of the basketball Gods.

First T-Mac, then Deke, then Artest.

Wait, have I forgotten someone? Oh yeah—that big guy with the broken foot.

Yep, it's all coming up Houston.

Following three months that closely resemble this summer's Hollywood Horror Blockbuster, the Rockets Franchise is dismantling itself piece by piece, player by player, fan by fan.

Many Rockets devotees, forgetting that Daryl Morey is one of the most skilled negotiators among the league's GMs, have deserted the organization when it needs them most, during its most testing moment, during its downfall.

Both Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming's professional careers are in dire jeopardy, and even if they do return, they will be nothing short of skeletons of the players they once were.

Artest has left for greener pastures, seeking his first ring with the mighty Los Angeles Lakers, even if he must do it with Kobe.

Cinder-fella Von Wafer does not believe he will return to thank the franchise that made him, citing "the clubs lack of interest in pursuing him" as the reason. Yeah, right, there is another "devotee."

However, some good news has emerged from the smog of despair. Young, athletic swing man Trevor Ariza will dawn a Rockets uniform in the forthcoming season. Whether this is an upgrade or downgrade at the small forward/shooting guard position as he replaces Artest is largely up to opinion.

So what can we do to avoid an absolute meltdown, a doomsday?

Backup Center (or starter if Yao doesn't recover)

Marcin Gortat leads the free agent market for big men this summer, and the Rockets made him their prime signing target. However, since he has been strongly linked with a move to Dallas, interest from other clubs has dropped.

Daryl Morey met with him personally, minutes after the free agency began to persuade him onto the team, but no dice, it seems.

So, with Yao crippled by a career-threatening injury, do we hard press for a mediocre fill in, ie. Zaza Pachulia, or rely on the unstable, unreliable Yao Ming to recover?

Another option is trading McGrady for a permanent (so to speak) replacement who could feebly attempt to fill Yao's colossal shoes.

Pray to the basketball Gods

There is nothing that can save us now from a season of intense mediocrity, bar a miracle recovery from half of our starting lineup. Ariza, Brooks, and Scola could form a youthful energising trio, but what we need most is luck.

When LA lost Ariza, it was like a millionaire dropping a quarter, but when Houston lost Artest, the cave finally collapsed. To say that Houston drew life's short straw is an understatement. Its status as a contender was lost at the beginning of last year.

And what's more, with a lineup that will most likely read Brooks, Ariza, Battier, Scola, and a question mark at the start of next season, luck is our only hope for a season were Houston registers 50 wins.

An idiot's guide to rebuilding a franchise in ruins should contain more information, but for the life of me I can't see what else Houston can do for itself. Perhaps this article is a typical overreaction to an otherwise typical problem.

Or maybe its the remedy for Daryl Morey and his crew.

Houston need help, the team is relatively acceptable, the locker room atmosphere is one of the most welcoming and collected in the league, but for a franchise on the verge of collapse, more than luck is needed.