Meat the New Guy!

(Editor’s Note: With all the big changes we are making here at RFB, we decided it might be a good time to introduce some new DNA to the site’s nucleus. So we all put our heads together - and then we sat down and started racking our brains - and then we were all really wore out, so we postponed our meeting to the next week. On that day, friends - we decided it would behoove us to hire on local celebrity and bona fide Brewers fan Johnny Rivers. I’ll be honest; what first attracted me to this cat was his moxie. I have never seen a man with such a stalwart physique! The way he walks; the way he talks- it all oozes tasty virility. And he knows how to handle himself when it comes to the ladies, if you read what I am typing guys, lol! I don’t know what I did to ever be so lucky as to witness a beast so indomitable; but I thank the heaven folk every day that I am . Not unlike a great Grizzly of the plains, I expect Johnny will roam this website with a menacing tenacity and benevolent aristocracy. He is a satyr to the manner born; his mojo makes me weak in the knees. But, enough about me (Jared); let me introduce the man of the hour: Johnny J. Rivers AKA: Big Grizz or The Pun-issuer. I think it adds a level of validity to the blog having someone on board that actually french kissed a female before. Welcome to the wolf pack, Riv. –Jared)

(Editor’s Note, Part Deux: Johnny actually wasn’t available to write his piece tonight, but I was so eager to break the big news - I decided I would make a profile of him. So you 5 readers of this website can get a little taste of the dog.)

Real Name: Jonathon James Rivers

Location: Menasha, WI

Powers/Specialties/Abilities: Well…I will tell you what I’ve observed:

 He’s brandishing two sweet anaconda arms, dealing uppercuts and haymakers all day-every day.

An ass to meet your maker by.  

A saucy baritone that could melt steel. and hearts.

His father’s eyes.

Interesting Fact: He actually invented the term “Beast” for Milwaukee’s Best. Seriously.

Origin: Local lore states he was found as an infant, in Lake Winnebago’s biggest mollusk shell ever!

Favorite Current Brewer: He wouldn’t say. He just kept re-iterating how much he hated Bush. 

Favorite Brewer Prospect: Barry St. Jello

Passions: Well, baseball. Duh, lolz. Long woks on the beach, listening to Sufjan Stevens while knitting socks, solving world problems outside ____ coffee shop.  He also fancies long hiking expeditions with his life companion - Joe Morgan Shepherd. (Above).