The Media Circus

With MLB Network laying down the gauntlet with Major League Baseball Draft coverage (which some of us can’t watch, thanks Dish Network), the Worldwide Leader is gearing up for a proper response.

And what’s the one thing that ESPN loves to do when they’ve finally become motivated to ratchet up the draft coverage?  Head to their secret Bristol laboratory to create a mega, super draftnik, the volume of whose draft knowledge could literally make your head explode if you could comprehend it. 

Smug attitude, savant-like knowledge of thousands of amateur athletes, unintentionally homoerotic descriptions of players body parts...all the pieces were there with one man.  Keith Law was the chosen one.

Racking up the TV appearances…

A sidebar rapidly approaching McShay levels…

Welcome to Mel Kiper territory, Keith Law, you’ve officially been branded as ESPN’s MLB “draft guy”. ###MORE###

Crap that actually came from somebody’s mouth

“Right now (Lamar Odom) is the Scottie Pippen of the Michael Jordan era for Michael Jordan.” - Avery Johnson

It seems Avery is trying to say Lamar Odom is the Scottie Pippen of the Jordan era for the Lakers...you know what, screw it. Avery Johnson sounds like an imbecile.

“I mean there is just no way for me not to consider him for a Hungo (Award) yet.  He’s right there at the top of my list.  He was on his knees today, right?” – Al Hrabosky on pitcher Brad Thompson

One of the hallmarks of Syracuse’s famed school of journalism is the ability to teach announcers that while referring to someone getting on their knees can insinuate begging as intended, it can also insinuate performing fellatio which is typically not intended.  Hrabosky didn’t go to Syracuse.
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ESPN shows you how to manufacture a news story

It shouldn’t even come to this, but once again, it has. This time, ESPN is to blame with the coverage and creation of Our Favre news.

Sunday Night - Bristol, CT

The Lead on the Bottom Line detailed the Lakers Game Two victory, Tiger Woods’ comeback win at the Memorial and the following text which shouldn’t have carried the same weight as the two preceding stories: “Favre’s shoulder surgery a new wrinkle in comeback bid”

Whether or not Brett Favre really comes back is a moot point because he and his agent have labeled him “retired”. Nothing more. There’s a good chance Favre would rather be “un-retired”, but basing everything on FACTS, a retired Brett Favre had surgery. That’s it.

Early Monday Morning - Bristol, CT

Filed under “JOSEPH ADDAI” on the SportsCenter Rundown, the host of SportsCenter decided to talk about Our Favre with a specially chosen NFL analyst.

“Back to the news of the morning: Brett Favre according to Ed Werder and Chris Mortensen, has undergone surgery to perhaps repair that shoulder and according to Jon Clayton, if Favre does choose to become a Minnesota Viking, the Vikings could be looking at 12 wins next year.” - Josh Elliott

Aside from the fact that this was taking place during the “Joseph Addai” section of the SportsCenter rundown, you have to love Jon Clayton’s assessment that Favre on the Vikings = 12 wins. Lock, stock and barrel.

Now, let’s get Marcellus Wiley’s thoughts on that 12-win possibility.

“I can agree with John in the sense that they can win 12 games, with the emphasis on can.”

That’s great insight from a former NFL player. Marcellus, do you think Brett Favre’s comeback (even though he’s publicly retired) (and even though he’s not coming back from anything since he played last year) is fueled by hatred of the Packers or love of the game?

“I think both. I mean, you want to beat the Packers twice and the emphasis is also because of the passion and love for the game. You can’t be a future Hall of Famer and just go out there with vengeance in your heart. He’s going out there to win football games with the asterisks around the Green Bay Packers, he wants to win those two.”

Here’s the thing, Marcellus, Favre hasn’t played like a Hall of Famer consistently since the early part of this decade, so that label is worthless at this point. And while Favre is selfish, whorish and annoying, no one with a right mind would accuse Favre of having played with “vengeance” for the first 17 years of his career.

A Little Later Monday Morning - Bristol, CT

At the top of the hour, anchor-with-a-porn-star-name Sage Steele brings us the latest:

“Developing story here on SportsCenter coming from the NFL. This time last year, Brett Favre was still retired. He didn’t actually send that text message until July … Sources tell ESPN that Favre has thrown on a limited basis since the sugery but is not close to 100% and will only return if he makes ’significant progress.’

ESPN’s Chris Mortensen joins us now and Mort, as Brett Favre takes one more step towards a possible return, what does all of this latest news mean?”

Keep in mind the only “news” (if you can call it that) that is 100 percent fact is that Favre had surgery to clean up his shoulder. At any rate, let’s listen to Chris Mortensen on the phone tell us what the surgery means:

“Just the fact that Brett had the arthroscopic surgery which we believe was to detach the one tendon that was hanging by a thread, shows that he does have a determination to at least attempt to play again.

"Now, Ed Werder and myself, we have not spoken to Brett Favre. We have spoken to several sources and there is the strong belief that Brett does want to play, likes the Vikings, same playbook he had in Green Bay, Super Bowl potential team, probably doesn’t hurt that they play the Packers twice a year...

"I always thought that this was the week that the Vikings would want to know or want to declare something so we’re going to monitor this week. We could possibly hear something where the Vikings say, ‘Yea we’re going to do this or we’re not going to do this.’

"I hope it ends at the end of this week but the story is ongoing. Brett had the surgery and I actually believe that Brett will be playing for the Vikings this year, but we’re still doing the reporting on it.”

Thanks Mort!

Late Monday Afternoon - the World Wide Web

Foxsports, Yahoo! Sports and SI.com all feature the Favre “story” on their sites as a “report” from ESPN. The ESPN-manufactured story is now global news. Chris Berman achieves a full-on erection.

Late Monday Afternoon - Bristol, CT

ESPN issues a story that the Vikings have issued a deadline for Favre decide by the end of the week, one way or another.

Late Monday Night

Sirius NFL refutes the ESPN story that the Vikings have imposed a Favre deadline.

Tuesday Morning - JoeSportsFan Headquarters

We stop covering the coverage because it really doesn’t matter anymore and everyone in sports media land will see no problem with Favre ditching the Jets for the Vikings just to stick it to the Packers.

Or they will acknowledge it and then completely ignore thinking back to the first time they spent the night with Our Favre. (Awesome picture of Mortensen/Werder as Demolition courtesy of the more awesome Sports Hernia.)

NFL.com using Vic Carrucci to increase female readership

“Ladies, I’ll answer all things NFL — and whatever else you desire.”

The Media Circus is written by Josh Bacott and Patrick Imig. They swear this stuff is real. Email them at [e-mail].

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