Jay Gibbons ACTUALLY Has a Baseball Job?!?!

Look I realize the economy is in the shitter right now and Americans are making tough choices to put food on the table. The city formerly known as Detroit seems to have revitalized itself as Dresden circa 1933, Midwestern auto-industry laborers are tanking like OSU football come January, and I know like one college grad who has a steady job, and he's a dog walker. But apparently somewhere, a minor league general manager is turning back the clocks to a time when the Dow was climbing above 14,000 and it was socially acceptable to wear Von Dutch in public, and STILL TO THIS DAY has the audacity to employ a one Jay Gibbons. Don't remember Jay Gibbons? He's a former Oriole outfielder who was conceived on the set of the 80's arm-wrestling/homoerotic love-fest Over The Top, when Sly Stallone happened to run into Carrot Top dick-first during the shoot. The kid couldn't field worth shit, and if you don't believe me check that wikipedia picture, dollars to donuts he misses this grab, way to close your eyes ass-clown. Throughout his entire career Gibbons was touted as a 'slugger'...except for the fact that douchebag couldn't hit dingers. He had a carrer-high 28 HRs in '03, which I suppose is exceptional if your name is Julio Lugo but not for someone named in the Mitchell report. Saying Jay Gibbons 'roided is like saying Jack Lalanne works out.

Indisputable.