Fact: ESPN Is a Wholly-Owned Subsidiary of the NBA

What an amazing partnership—ESPN is now the Official Spokesperson (TM) for NBA, Inc.

While watching both the Eastern and Western Conference Finals, it was finally proven that ESPN has been bought by Chairman David Stern's company, NBA, Inc.

The shills on ESPN's broadcasts and studio 'analysis' teams have let the cat out of the bag with their slobbering over, under, and around LeBron and Kobe.

Too much has been tied up in the ads to let anything happen to not have the "Dream Match-up."

Every time those two make a layup, the screaming announcers almost orgasm on mic, but when a Magic or Nuggets player makes a 360 dunk or fall-away three-pointer, it is "Ho-hum—but remember that play LeBron/Kobe made in the last game?"

Maybe the worst of the bunch is Mike Breen, who yells so loud when Kobe dribbles across halfcourt that my girlfriend's cat jumps two feet in the air. Not sure when he had the surgery to permanently plant his nose up Bryant's keester, but it was a successful medical procedure. I am just not sure how he can still see anything going on in the game when he is looking into such a limited view.

But fear not, we shall see how NBA/ESPN will bring LeBron back from the depths of being down 3-1 and will allow Kobe to score 85 to push the Bryant Lakers (sorry LA, you don't own the team anymore).

Then, we shall have the match-up King David (pictured above) is smiling about. And those paychecks going to ESPN employees will continue to have the NBA logo on the top right corner.

Now the NBA can honestly be compared to WWE; with the results pre-determined to keep their advertisers happy and paying the freight.

Ain't American capitalism grand?