College Football's 10 Dumbest Statements Coming into the 2009 Season

There is a lot going on in the offseason in college football, and I have heard a lot of dumb things said...but these take the cake.

1. Ole Miss is a top 10 team.

This is ridiculous. Let me break the suspense for you...Ole Miss '09 = Clemson '08. As a Clemson fan I can see this coming; this team has no idea how to deal with being the trendy pick.

Let's not forget who is coaching this team. Houston Nutt has never been good dealing with expectations. For God's sake, he couldn't win with one of the best backfields in college football history at Arkansas. What makes anyone believe he can get it done?

Another comparison for you: Houston Nutt = Tommy Bowden.

While the soft part of the schedule will allow for the Rebs to feast on losers like Memphis, SE Louisiana, UAB, and Northern Arizona, where are the rest of the wins going to come from? Let's face facts: Ole Miss cares about the pre-game party in the Grove more than what goes on inside of Vaught-Hemingway. I'll believe it when I see it.

2. USC is not the team to beat in the Pac-10 this year.

This is one that I cannot fathom. Pete Carroll has lost countless All-Americans and countless coaches, but he keeps winning.

He has been the coach at SC for eight years...he is 88-15! Wait—let that sink in, and then factor in that six of those losses were in his first year. Washington had three fewer losses last season than Pete has at SC in his career.

Last year Oregon State beat them and was in the driver's seat for the Pac-10 title—and then proceeded to gag. The Trojans will probably have to lose two in the league not to win the crown for the eighth consecutive year. Where are those losses?

3. This is the year Florida State is back!

This is only the eighth year in a row I've heard that. Get real. Full disclosure: I hate FSU, but they had one of the best runs in college football history in the '90s. NEWS FLASH! The '90s are over.

This team has no receivers, young unproven running backs, and nobody in the secondary; they lost their only proven pass rusher, and their QB is Riley Skinner with a spear on his helmet.

As long as Bobby Bowden is still the coach, this program is treading water with cement shoes.

Which brings up another topic—who are the players listening to? You have one historically great coach who can barely put coherent sentences together and a coach in waiting who has no idea when the waiting will end.

It seems that people around the program know it is time for Bobby to hang it up, especially with the cloud of forfeited wins hanging over him. Sadly, I believe he is so afraid of dying without something to do after retirement (which he has said himself) that he is willing to destroy what took him so long to build.

4. This is the year Jimmy Clausen puts it together.

NO! I believed the hype.

I fell for it, hook, line, and sinker. I was WR...WR...WR...WRONG. Sure, Ron Powlus V.2 looked great last year when Notre Dame finally won a bowl game. But let's get real; it was Hawaii. He is the brother of two other highly regarded prep QBs that were not any good (Casey had impressive bloated numbers, but he didn't live up to the hype either).

Casey, err, Rick, err, Jimmy Clausen has happy feet, cannot make all the throws, is not accurate, and is still a little shell-shocked by the beating he has taken behind that hideous O-line for two years.

Sure, he will look good when they beat Washington and Washington State to win the Crapple Cup, or when Nevada or Navy (oops) comes to town. What is he going to do when facing teams that are tougher, more talented or better coached than his?

They will lose to Michigan State, Pitt, BC, and UConn—and then there is the inevitable 40-point beat down by USC.

That leaves Michigan, Purdon't, and Stanford—do you think they will beat all of those teams? I don't. I have no confidence that Clausen can be the guy to lead this team to eight or nine wins, even with an improving D.

5. Colt McCoy and/or Sam Bradford are better QBs than Tim Tebow.

Come on! If you don't think Tebow is the best QB in the nation, you have an agenda or are just a hater. Is it annoying to hear about how perfect he is all the time? Hell yeah! But facts are facts.  

All you Bradford/McCoy/whomever apologists, riddle me this: How many National Championships do those two have for their combined five years of starting? That is right: ZERO. Tebow...two (one as a "starter").

Has either of those guys called out his teammates after a humiliating loss and put them on his back en route to a championship? NO! Tebow? Yes! Is either of those guys going to be remembered as one of, if not the greatest player in college history? NO! Tebow? Yes!

Let it go haters. Enjoy a player this good; don't be jealous. And he gives children circumcisions.

6. Anything regarding Greg Paulus.

This guy sucked as a basketball player, and he will suck at attempting to play football too. Enough said. Can we stop giving it any coverage?

7. The Non-BCS teams deserve a chance at a Championship.

I'm glad that Boise State and Utah and Hawaii get to play in the BCS games sometimes; great for them. Let's stop acting like you could hang in a real conference for a season. You can't!

The only time any of these teams play BCS conference foes, it is always the Washingtons and Washington States of the world, teams that are bottom feeders in their own leagues. Yeah, every so often you get a win, either during the season or in a bowl game. Big whoop.

Appalachian State beat Michigan (which was hilarious); does that mean they could hang in the Big Ten? That would be a Big NO!

Utah, you had a fine season last year, and Bama was disappointed that they would be playing some nobody from the Mtn. West and played like crap.

You played great and won; good for you. But if I have to see another "Utah, Undefeated National Champs" line in somebody's message board signature, I'm gonna flip.  

You are great at what you do; be happy with that. Don't act like you are a big boy. While Bama has to play LSU, Florida, Auburn, Arkansas, Ole Miss, etc., you are playing the likes of UNLV, Colorado State, New Mexico, Air Farce, Wyoming, and San Diego State. That is close to the same thing, let me tell ya.

8. Lane Kiffin is good for Tennessee.

I've heard a lot of people say that Lane Kiffin is good for Tennessee because "despite all the stupid things he has said and done, at least people are talking about the Vols." You know what they will be talking about next? How Urban Meyer/Mark Richt/Nick Saban/Les Miles made him shut his man pleaser by kicking him in the ass on National TV.

How long is he going to be able to recruit when kids see him and his great coaching staff rip their hair out when Florida/Georgia/etc. is hanging oh-by-the-way touchdowns in the fourth quarter? At least Steve Spurrier, jack of all asses, checked his arrogance until, you know...he won something, like a game.

9. Teams are going to catch up with Paul Johnson's offense at GT.

Georgia Southern, Navy, and now GT. Has anyone caught up yet? NO! Sure, LSU looked good against them in the PEACH BOWL, but that had more to do with LSU scoring 28 in the second quarter so that the Jackets couldn't run the ball. They probably won't win any National Championships, but they are gonna beat a lot of people.

I remember when people said that Urban Meyer's offense would not work in the SEC; how is that going?

I think that GT will take a step back this year in terms of wins, but it is because of the fact that the D won't be as good. I bet all the people saying that teams are gonna catch up with Paul Johnson don't pull for squads with Tech on the schedule.

10. We need a college football playoff.

Sure, I would like a playoff in CFB, but it isn't going to happen unless a few things happen: 1) People stop watching BCS bowl games and 2) People stop going to BCS bowl games.

That's it. Stop spending your time and money on them, and they will stop having them.

But that is NEVER going to happen. So stop whining and do something about it, or just sit back and enjoy the controversy.  

I know it is easy for me to say because my Clemson Tigers aren't going to a championship game until we get serious about being a championship-caliber program, which seems a long time from now.

Still, what makes college football so great is not the one game that determines a championship like the NFL; it is the tradition and the pageantry. It's because these are kids giving it all for their universities without pay, allegedly.

Would it be better with a playoff? Sure, why not, but I'm still counting down the days until kickoff without it.