Paging Kobe and Artest From the Department of Sore Losers

Elliott SmithCorrespondent IMay 14, 2009

LOS ANGELES, CA - MAY 06:  Kobe Bryant #24 of the Los Angeles Lakers drives between (R) Ron Artest #96 and Shane Battier #31 of the Houston Rockets in the first half of Game Two of the Western Conference Semifinals during the 2009 NBA Playoffs at Staples Center on May 6, 2009 in Los Angeles, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.  (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)

Well, it looks like the Lakers have finished toying around with the Rockets in the Western Conference semis, and Thursday's Game 6 will likely spell the end for a feisty Houston team that is too inconsistent to win without Yao Ming in the middle.

And since I can't stand the Lakers, I'm turning to my basest desires to bring me joy: Here's hoping that Ron Artest clocks the living hell out of Kobe Bryant.

Artest is all kinds of crazy, and he and Kobe have been yammering back and forth throughout the series.

I thought Ron-Ron was going to lose it in Game 2, when Kobe threw a cheap-shot elbow right into his throat and then pretended like he did nothing wrong. But Artest merely got ejected, and the series went on without further incident.

Now, however, I can see Artest, fed up with what I'm sure will be a relatively easy Laker win, losing his marbles.

How delicious would it be to see Artest (trying to keep alive the classic 90s look of words and patterns in your hair) give that smug bastard Kobe the business end of a cheap shot.

Bryant has always been a punk, yet his prodigious talents have given him a free pass for a large part of his reprehensible on-court behavior (I'm not even talking about the Colorado business): running Shaq out of town, feuding with Phil Jackson, virtually ignoring his teammates, sporting prison-quality tattoos, whining nonstop to the refs, etc.

Video Play Button
Videos you might like

No one has ever really put him in his place. If all goes right tonight, I'm hoping Artest does the job.

Yeah, it's a "bad" thing to wish for, but c'mon, all you non-Laker fans are probably thinking it too.


The latest in the sports world, emailed daily.