Ron Artest To Get Trash Talk Designed into Haircut To Avoid Repeat Ejection

After being ejected from Wednesday night’s game, Ron Artest is going to make sure he doesn’t make the same mistake twice.

“I realize now that you aren’t allowed to say anything or get into Kobe Bryant’s face, for fear of ejection and further punishment,” Artest said hours after the game.

So now Artest is doing something that he hopes will keep him out of trouble.

Getting all of his trash talk shaved in as a design in his haircut.

“In the past, I may have been more immature, and actually you know, tried to talk it out with Kobe, but now obviously throwing elbows is the only way you’re allowed to communicate without being ejected.

“I’d like to refrain from that, but if I’m not allowed to approach Kobe and give him a piece of my mind without being reprimanded, I suppose I’ll have to get creative.”

Artest was unsure of how much trash talk he would be able to fit on his head, and he didn’t want it to interfere with his Rockets logo.

Kobe, upon hearing the news, was excited, yet disappointed at the route that Artest was taking.

“This is playoff basketball, if he doesn’t want to throw elbows, or wind up and drop somebody setting a pick like my boy D-Fish did, I really question his heart and his love for the game.”

Artest has said that to avoid ejection next game, he will neither open his mouth, nor try to rebound the basketball.

“I’m obviously not a very good rebounder, and I must have had myself out of position, perhaps being in the paint means it’s a foul on me when I got elbowed? I’d like to apologize to my team, as I must need to brush up on the rules or something.”

One Rockets’ player coming to the defense of Artest was big man Dikembe Mutombo.

“If Kobe wants to throw elbows, perhaps he should come to me. I have elbows like daggers! He will bleed out on the court if I accidentally poked him with one of mine.”

And if a pointy elbow doesn’t scare Kobe, Mutombo ended his interview with a question to Kobe, perhaps a rhetorical one.

“Do YOU want to sex Mutombo?”