Manny Ramirez' Positive Drug Test Gives D-Backs Golden Opportunity

In the famous words of Jim Carrey, “So you’re telling me there’s a chance!”

While the D-Backs’ chance of winning the NL West was slightly better than one in one million, digging yourself out of an eight-and-a-half game deficit does require some sort of small miracle, especially the way the D-Backs have been playing.

However, Arizona has received an unexpected stroke of good luck in the last 12 hours, which began by winning a game in which they should’ve lost.

The Snakes committed four errors and went 0-for-7 with runners in scoring position against Jake Peavy and the Padres, but Jon Garland pitched out of his mind, despite the horrific defensive play behind him. Justin Upton extended his hitting streak to 13 games with two monster home runs, and Chad Qualls pulled a Houdini to save the game after loading the bases with nobody out in the ninth.

Simply put, they won a game they didn’t deserve to win, but with the hole this team is in, they must beg, borrow, and steal every win they can.

With the victory, the Snakes stayed on life support, avoiding falling nine-and-a-half games behind the Dodgers.

This morning the news got better for the D-Backs. They were upgraded to serious but stable condition when word broke that Manny Ramirez tested positive for performance enhancing drugs. The positive test result carries an immediate and non-negotiable 50 game suspension, which will keep Ramirez out of the Dodgers lineup until July 3.

Ramirez attempted to explain the situation in a statement he released, saying, “Recently I saw a physician for a personal health issue. He gave me a medication, not a steroid, which he thought was OK to give me. Unfortunately, the medication was banned under our drug policy. Under the policy, that mistake is now my responsibility. I have been advised not to say anything more for now. I do want to say one other thing; I’ve taken and passed about 15 drug tests over the past five seasons.

“I want to apologize to Mr. McCourt, Mrs. McCourt, Mr. Torre, my teammates, the Dodger organization, and to the Dodger fans. LA is a special place to me and I know everybody is disappointed. So am I. I’m sorry about this whole situation.”

Please, please, no apologies are necessary, Manny. Whatever the reason, we don’t care! We believe you! The details and circumstances aren’t important to us D-Backs fans. We’re not on a steroid witch hunt. We are simply looking to recapture our rightful crown, as NL West Champions. The title we’ve held more than any other team in the division since the conception of our franchise.

Quite honestly, we owe you a big “thank you!” for giving us a glimmer of hope and a golden opportunity to save our season.

Make no mistake, it won’t be easy. I think we’ll find that the 50 games will pass very quickly. Next time we look up, Manny will be back in the lineup, which makes this 50 game stretch even more important.

The Snakes and Dodgers meet only once for a three game set in ‘wood (I don’t think we can call it Mannywood anymore) during the span, but it’s fair to say already, those three games will be must-wins for Arizona.