Getting "Avery'd" with Jesus and Madonna

Now that the New York Rangers season is over and the Washington Capitals are hammering the Pittsburgh Penguins, I know you've missed my daily updates on Sean Avery...

Well, I've missed them, anyway.

A friend of mine predicted I would not be able to stop "cold turkey" after writing 400 articles collected into five books about the most controversial hockey star and celebrity in the world.

There hasn't been much to report, other than Markus Naslund's surprise retirement, or the rumors Martin St. Louis or Evgeni Malkin may be Rangers next year. The only hockey-related mention of Avery came from the world championships, where a goalie got slashed on the back of the head and somebody reported he had been "Avery'd."

Avery was spotted in a club in New York's 'Meatpacking District' with Catherine Keener and a gaggle of groupies, according to New York Magazine. The Meatpacking District is officially known as Gansevoort Market, and it is now New York's most fashionable neighborhood, chock-full of hip restaurants, although it has been other things in the recent past.

Catherine Keener (born March 23, 1959) is a two-time Academy Award and Emmy-nominated American actress, whose most recent movies are Nailed and Where the Wild Things Are.

Avery and Keener were, reportedly, going to Daphne Guinness' birthday party for photographer Steven Klein at the new Standard Hotel. Guiness is an heiress of the famous Guineess family. Yes, that Guiness. Klein was the photographer for Britney Spears' third studio album, called Britney.

Also at the party was Madonna, with Jesus Luz, and Avery's ex, Kelly Klein. OK, I've now covered every possible angle of this story, including Avery with Jesus and Madonna.

I'm through.