Wrestling's Next Big Concept Emerges From the Ohio Wrestling League

Ohio Wrestling League started Show No. 9 with talent coordinator Norm Connors presenting Joey Mercury with a plaque to honor him as a former OWL champion. He lost the title on Show No. 8 to Paul London.

Mercury’s music played (“No. 1 Crush” by Garbage) as a championship banner with his face on it was raised the ceiling.

“This is all very touching,” Mercury said. “but I am getting my belt back tonight, and Paul London and X-Pac can’t do anything to stop me. I put Val Venis in the hospital, and if the other two aren’t careful, they’re next!”

Connors then introduced five tag teams who have never won a world tag team title for the opening bout.

Match 1: Los Mariachis (the masked team that was formerly known as Los Michael Jacksons) beat The Highlanders, The Heartthrobs, The Fantastics and The Gymini in a tag team scramble match.

After the match, Hardcore Holly came to the ring and blasted Los Mariachis with a steel chair.

Norm Connors came to the ring and said, “Get lost! This is not how we do things!”

BOOM! Holly clobbered Norm with the chair.

“You’ve invited everyone to this promotion but me!” Holly said. “Nobody ignores the Big Shot!”

(Music: "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani)

Next, we saw the debut of “Produce Power” Alex Porteau, who came to the ring passing out bananas to the fans. He also gave an OWL merchandise prize pack to the fan who suggested “grocery guy” at the end of the non-gimmick battle royale.

The fans chanted along to the "B-A-N-A-N-A-S" part of the song.

Match 2: “Produce Power” Alex Porteau upset Ernest “The Cat” Miller after Miller literally slipped on a banana peel.

An enraged Miller broke the wooden banana crate over Porteau’s head after the match.

Match 3: The Prophecy (Danny Maff and Brazilian jiu-jitsu expert “BJ-J” Whitmer) defeated X-Factor (Albert and Justin Credible) when Whitmer forced Credible to tap out to an armbar.

X-Pac came to the ring and berated the other members of X-Factor for the loss. While he was chewing them out, a pair of ring crew members came out with a large gymnastics landing pad, and STING dropped down from the sky into it!

On second look, it was the nWo STING! He clobbered Albert and Credible with the baseball bat and set up both men in the corners for X-Pac’s Bronco Buster.

The ring crew members removed their hoods to reveal SCOTT HALL and VINCENT (you know, Virgil). They put on their “new World order” shirts. Hall gave X-Pac his green “6-Pac” shirt as the n.W.o. theme song hit.

Scott Hall took the mic: “As Big Kev would say, ‘The band is back together!'”

Match 4: "Fabulous" John McChesney pinned The Amazing Red after a top rope leg drop.

Both men received a standing ovation after their high-flying match.

During intermission, “Dojo Boy” Chuck Palumbo passed out zombie masks all of the fans, and then rolled into the ring for the next match.

Match 5: “Smooth Criminal” Sean O’Haire pinned his former WCW tag team championship partner, “Dojo Boy” Chuck Palumbo, with a victory roll.

(Music: “Thriller” by Michael Jackson)

O’Haire and Palumbo pointed to the backstage area, and SHAWN STASIAK and “Above Average” MIKE SANDERS came out. The reunited Natural Born Thrillers did the THRILLER DANCE~!

Los Mariachis rushed to the ring in their tattered Michael Jackson outfits and joined in. Fans entered the ring in their zombie masks and danced along!

When Vincent Price stopped cackling at the end of the song, everyone was exiting the ring when Thriller (one of Los Michael Jacksons) bulldogged O’Haire and did the W-O-R-M! He unmasked as SCOTTY 2 HOTTY!

Dangerous went to the top rope, unmasked as GRANDMASTER SEXAY Brian Christopher, and hit the Tennessee jam leg drop!

The largest zombie in the ring unmasked, and it was RIKISHI! He gave O’Haire the stinkface! The other Natural Born Thrillers dragged O’Haire out of the ring, while Too Cool and Rikishi danced to their theme song.

The next match was for the OWL stable contract. The Congregation put their right to be the only “official” stable in the company on the line against Raven’s Flock.

Match 6: Pope Elijah Burke and Xavier (with Simply Luscious) defeated Raven and The Blue Meanie in a Raven’s Rules match.

This was a crazy, weapons-filled brawl all over the building. Raven was about to wallop Burke with a Singapore cane when “THE ALPHA MALE” MONTY BROWN hit the ring and nailed Raven with the POUUUUUUNCE!! Burke got the pin to retain the stable contract for The Congregation.

An irate Raven DDT’d The Blue Meanie. Al Snow, Meanie’s original trainer, came out of the crowd to help Meanie to his feet.

Next was the double ladder match for the OWL tag team titles, featuring Colt “Boom Boom” Cabana, Josh Prohibition, Teddy Hart, and “M-Dogg 20” Matt Cross.

The belts were literally held up when the previous champs, Teddy and Matt, began to feud with each other. M-Dogg limped into the match after losing the scaffold and tables match to Teddy Hart on the last show in Cincinnati.

Match 7: Colt Cabana grabbed the first title belt while Matt Cross and Teddy Hart were busy trying to kill each other. Cabana held the ladder for Josh to climb.

As Josh neared the other belt, Cabana tipped the ladder over and Josh crashed outside the ring through the timekeeper’s table.

Cabana laughed and set the ladder up again as Ace Steel came from the back, climbed the ladder and grabbed the other title belt.

Ace grabbed the mic: “Your winners, and new OWL tag team champions, The Second City Saints! Remember, you all agreed that WHOEVER grabbed the belts would be the new champions.”

Suddenly, Chris Harris and the Future Endeavors (Ryan Braddock, Gavin Spears, Tyson Tomko and Kizarny) hit the ring and attacked all five men. The 10 men battled out the door and into the streets of Cleveland.

Match 8: Paul London pinned Joey Mercury to retain the OWL title in a Triple Threat Match that also included 6-Pac. Scott Hall, Vincent and nWo Sting came to the ring and attacked London and Mercury, spraying "nWo" on their backs.

(Music: Money by Pink Floyd)

Sean "Val Venis" Morley came to the ring with the members of MorleyCorp: the Full-Blooded Italians and the Mexicools.

“I bet you’re all expecting me to sign the nWo to MorleyCorp and bring back one of their old friends, like, oh, I don’t know….Scott Norton?”

(Music: n.W.o. B-team theme song)

Scott Norton walks to the ring.

"But instead, I’m going to tell you that I’m signing EVERYONE to MorleyCorp. That’s because I have bought the Ohio Wrestling League."

Everyone gasps.

"I bet you don’t even know who I bought it from. Only Norm Connors knows who owned this company. He’s right up there."

Venis points up to the OWL’s Nest commentary booth to play-by-play announcer Jeff Gorman, who is FINALLY wearing a new suit.

Everyone gasps again.

"Where did I get all this money? I wrestled in the WWE for 11 years, and I invested wisely. I owntwo2 million maple trees in Canada, and I control 75 percent of the maple syrup market in North America. I’m like Mr. Butterworth and Uncle Jemima rolled into one.

"Why I am I doing this? Because I should be on top of the wrestling world right now. I started in the WWF in 1998 at the same time as Adam Copeland, who we call know as Edge. He was given great gimmicks and numerous title reigns.

"In 2002, just as I was starting to make my big move, they stuck me back with that stupid porn star gimmick again! I knew it would get me nowhere, so I hung on for six more years, planning my revenge.

"Yes, I am going to run Vince McMahon out of business. I will take over his company like he did to Ted Turner. How will I do it? By introducing a brand new concept in professional wrestling.

"I will beat Vince McMahon by doing something different.

"I will beat Vince McMahon with these five words:

“Wrestling as a team sport.”