Yoosof Farah's Premier League Predictions: Matchday 35

Before you read any further, it must be said that the combination of forthcoming A/S Level examinations, as well as an interest in Formula One and the ITV News coverage of the extremely popular Mexican soap opera Swine Flu, has meant my interest in football has somewhat diminished during the working week.

However, we now approach the weekend, and we all know what that means. We'll all be able to go out tonight and tomorrow night and get absolutely hammered...hang on a minute, is it really just me thinking that?

Then again, I suppose it could be that the next round of football matches takes place this weekend; that's always a possibility.

Silly attempts at humour combined with an introduction aside, here are my preview/predictions of all of the FA Barclay's Premier League matches in Matchday 35.

Saturday

Middlesbrough v Manchester United, K.O. 12.45pm

No wonder this game was moved to lunchtime so it could be put on show to the SkySports cameras. It goes without saying that this is a very important game for both sides.

Manchester United need a win at the Riverside on Saturday so to maintain their advantage in pole position for the Premier League title race. Dropping points can almost guarantee pressure from title rivals Liverpool in the Premier League hunt, as well as pressure from the media, who will no doubt say that the pressure (see a theme developing here?) will be getting to United.

And of course, one only has to look at the current predicament Middlesbrough are in to see that clearly, from all their remaining matches, they need all the points they can get.

My prediction is probably the general consensus of most Premier League fans. Middlesbrough won't get the points they need, Manchester United will. A prediction of 0-2 with Cristiano Ronaldo on the scoresheet.

Chelsea v Fulham, K.O. 3pm

One of many in the season-long series Battle of London, the match at Stamford Bridge should be quite the game.

Both Chelsea and Fulham having been doing well in the form table at the moment, and so the clash at the Bridge will be rather entertaining, as Fulham look to close in on an a Europa League place, and Chelsea, with their title hopes all but over, will be hoping they can build some good momentum ahead of the daunting visit of FC Barcelona.

My prediction is that Chelsea will emerge victorious on home turf, as they don't want to look embarassing ahead of a meeting with the Catalan giants on Wednesday. Fulham will make a fight of it I'm sure, but 2-1 is the Yoosof Farah match prediction for this one.

Manchester City v Blackburn Rovers, K.O. 3pm

With Manchester City safe in the Premier League and not being able to finish the season anywhere considerably meaningful (by which I mean in a Europa League spot), the onus is on Blackburn Rovers to perform at the City of Manchester Stadium.

Three points off the drop zone isn't the safest, or indeed the prettiest, of positions to be in right now, and so to ensure survival in the Premier League circus, it is the Rovers who really need the points.

However, despite Blackburn having centre-back I'm-the-size-of-a-telephone-box-Christopher Samba playing as a striker, my prediction is that it'll be a draw at Eastlands.

Perhaps a Brazilian might be onsong, Elano maybe, or perhaps Britain's most expensive footballer, Robinho (or Robbie, as Mark Hughes likes to call him). Either way, I think City will get a goal, but the Rovers will be lucky and get one too. I predict 1-1.

Portsmouth v Arsenal, K.O. 3pm

Calamity James reckons Portsmouth can spring a surprise and even snatch a win at home against Arsenal at Fratton Park.

With Portsmouth all but safe in the Premier League, a point or points against Arsenal will ensure survival for the South Coast outfit.

But one has to admit Arsenal are on form currently, and so a 0-3 scoreline. I think it will be down at Fratton Park.

And who knows, maybe Nicklas Bendtner (or "Nikki B," as he is known in the hood) might get on the scoresheet. Highly improbable, but like I said, who knows?

Stoke City v West Ham United, K.O. 3pm

I can't envision this match being a classic, and with West Ham's Europa League hopes all but over, Stoke are the ones who perhaps could do with the points more, just to ensure survival, although even this is a somewhat certainty anyway.

I doubt television audiences across the globe will be glued to their TV sets watching this match in amazement, therefore I predict a draw here.

How about a 0-0 stalemate, does that rate highly on your Premier League excitement scale?

Tottenham Hotspur v West Bromwich Albion, K.O. 3pm

I have a friend called Colin Gentle who is a Tottenham Hotspur season-ticket holder.

Jewish jokes and 'friendly' banter about Spurs league position aside, I hope Tottenham Hotspur lose on Saturday.

West Brom, after their recent win, could perhaps build momentum here, and one has to ask, are we about to see another episode in the Premier League series, The Great Escape?

Actually, I should stop thinking idealistically as we're probably not, and so my prediction is unfortunately going to have to be 3-0. Roman Pavlyuchenko (or "Pav" as his street-name goes) I tip to be on the scoresheet.

Wigan Athletic v Bolton Wanderers, K.O. 3pm

Northern teams always play it out the real "nitty gritty" way, and so I don't see this one being a classic either.

Quite simply, I predict Wigan to slog it out and emerge 2-1 victors in a game that will have a scrappy goal from either side, and probably a wonder strike from one of Wigan's exotic imports. Amr Zaki perhaps? Although Antonio Valencia does seem the more likely option.

Sunday

Liverpool v Newcastle United, K.O. 13.30pm

Like with the Manchester United match on Saturday, the game at Anfield on Sunday could be a real cracker.

Both teams are desperate for wins; Liverpool need to pressurise Manchester United as much as is humanly possible in the title hunt, while Newcastle, with the dire straights they're in at the moment, need every single point they can get if they are to avoid that dreaded drop.

My prediction is that this game will be a classic, a real goalfest. Goals galore you could say...well, if you're a Liverpool fan that is, as I, Yoosof Farah, with the deepest regret as a Manchester United fan, predict the Reds will win 4-0.

Let's be honest, when Newcastle need to step up to the plate, they crumble, and no one can deny that. That spectre called "relegation" looms near for Newcastle United.

Sunderland v Everton, K.O. 4pm

Skysports always know how to televise the right matches.

Sunderland need points to ensure their top flight status, with chairman Niall Quinn telling his players they now need to start performing.

With Everton having one eye clearly on the FA Cup Final, they only have one eye left to focus on securing that Europa League spot, and so I reckon Sunderland manager Ricky Sbragia will have his troops capitalise on Everton's situation at the Stadium of Light.

My prediction is for a Sunderland win of 3-1, with Djibril Cissé combining with strike and dance partner Kenwyne Jones to perform that awful goal celebration dance, three times.

Monday

Aston Villa v Hull City, K.O. 8pm

It must be said, rarely do people care about Premier League matches after the weekend is over, so please, feel free readers to just skip this part if you don't support these teams.

But for those who do care, and perhaps I have to as the Aston Villa Community Leader on Bleacher Report, here is what I think will happen at Villa Park on Monday:

ASTON VILLA TO WIN 24-0! GABRIEL AGBONLAHOR TO SCORE 12 GOALS IN THE HIGHEST EVER WIN A PREMIER LEAGUE SIDE HAS MANAGED TO ACHIEVE.

Sorry Hull City fans, but Yoosof Farah just had to throw in one cheeky little prediction!

And so, from Middlesbrough to Liverpool, there'll be some vitally important results at both ends of the table.

From Portsmouth to London, there'll be the easy wins, and finally, from Wigan to Stoke there'll be...the somewhat less exciting encounters perhaps.