The Good, The Bad and The Unbearable That Is Chicago Sports Broadcasting

Living in one of the biggest cities in the country (referring to sports passion, of course), I can say there is no shortage on where anybody can go to get their fix on sports:

Information, Analysis, Opinion, Discussion, Argument, Agreement, Humor...

Really, whatever you want, it's there.  In a lot of ways, actually, it has a strong comparison to something else that many love this city for:

The Food!

So I've decided to randomly compare a few of the TV and Radio personalities in this city to a few grub houses we all love (or at least know about!)  We’ll go with one from Radio, one from TV, and one from the Web.

Boers and Bernstein – Afternoons on WSCR 670 the Score –

I’ve never heard anything quite like them… ever… and that’s a good thing.  Listening in from the hours of 2-7 will leave your stomach aching from laughter – especially on Thursdays or Fridays during the famous “Who Ya Crappin’ and Friday Fung” (dates respective) segments. 

These guys aren’t afraid to call listeners out on their stupidity, and they do it often – making for great radio.  Listen to a couple of episodes, and you’ll be incorporating “Bye Cracky!” into everyday conversation. 

My Comparison: Ed Debevics Restaurant.   Where else do people want to go to be entertained non-stop while they eat – and listen to someone tear the idiot sitting behind you out for wearing socks with sandals, or ordering a hot dog with ketchup.

Mike North and Dan Jiggets – Mornings on CSN and ChicagoSportsWebio.com –

I really thought this city was going to be able to breathe a sigh of relief after the Score announced they would not renew North’s contract.  We suffered through years of his tasteless jokes and comments, not to mention the constant references to his dropping high school and selling hot-dogs (Great role model for the kids!).

Now, he’s paired with Dan Jiggets – and let’s just say the two of them finally have the IQ level combined to challenge a cinder block to a game of Jeopardy.  After all, it was Jiggets who recently laid claim that Vinnie Del Negro was the best coach of all the teams in Chicago. 

But hey, he HAS to be right! I mean, he went to Harvard! That’s Ivy League!

On second thought, our 43^rd President was Ivy League educated – so there may be a few holes in the system.  The sole bright spot to this show (if you can catch it on TV in the morning) is the limited camera time Jen Patterson has.  She makes things just a little more bearable.

My Comparison: White Castle. Everyone always sees them, and everyone always talks about them. You always end up with a craving for them every once and a while, and you can’t help but sacrifice your time to put down a sack of ten with some fries and a grape soda.  Then, after a little while, you find yourself in the bathroom sitting so long your legs fall asleep while cursing profusely saying it was the dumbest thing you could have done – only to get out and do it again a month later, simply because you felt the urge to.

Neil Funk and Stacey King – Chicago Bulls Play by Play (CSN TV) –

I’d like to start off by saying that I miss Johnny “Red” Kerr.

With that being said, we can move on. 

I really thought it would be hard to adjust to Neil Funk being the TV guy.  I had grown accustomed to his detailed analysis and picture painting of the game – not to mention (in my opinion) the world’s best radio call in 1993 when Pax buried the Suns with a single 3 point shot. 

Pairing him with Stacey King was one of the most brilliant things done in recent years.  Taking Kerr off the air was necessary due to his declining health. 

Tom Dore, on the other hand, was just bad.  I guess the executives finally got tired of him repeating “Listen to this crowd!” 25 times a game.

Getting back on track – Funk and King are brilliant in their own ways.  King has a knack for the game (He’s got a number of rings, so I’d hope so!). 

His analysis is top notch, and I can’t think of anyone I’ve talked to that hates his ‘slang’ and humor that makes its way into things.  “Get out the way boy”, “Don’t do him like that”, ”He couldn’t jump over a ‘dolla bill!” and “If you’re afraid, go buy a dog” to get specific. 

My Comparison: Benihana. There’s a constant entertainment factor while dining here.  Things never stop happening, and you can’t help but laugh at some of the crazy things your table chef does with the food.  If you sit with total strangers at your table, you soon have something to talk about, and leave like you’ve known each other for a while – and it always keeps you coming back, even if you’re not a fan of Japanese food!

I could go through and run comparisons for everyone, but you’d be reading a lot longer… and I’m not Jay Mariotti, so I don’t want you to hate me.  That’s his job, wherever he is.

If you don’t think it’s true, look at things a bit closer, or actually try going to these places if you’ve never been.  You’ll soon understand the point of view. Matter of fact, try your hand at Hawk and Steve Stone, or Bob Brenly and Kermit…err… Len Kasper.

The short of it is, there is a pantheon of cuisine for your sports-geared mind.  Flip on the TV, or turn the dial, or open up your internet browser and dive right in. 

Bon Appétit!