I'm Convinced That Lawrence Frank Has Some Dirt on Rod Thorn

So, I’m in the barbershop getting a haircut yesterday, and something tells me to glance up at the TV that stays locked on ESPN. On the bottom line scrolls the words, “Nets to retain Lawrence Frank as head coach.”

At this point, I wanted to shake my head in disgust, but decided to stay still for the sake of my haircut. But enough of that. Let’s get down to it.

How does Lawrence Frank continue to keep his job?

In a season where eight different coaches lost their jobs during the season, Frank not only made it through, he has also been invited to mess around next year. Why? Well, it definitely isn’t his resume.

2003-2004: 25-15 (had the 13-0 stretch), second round loss in the playoffs.

2004-2005: 42-40, swept out of the fiirst round of the playoffs.

2005-2006: 49-33, second round loss in the playoffs.

2006-2007: 41-41, second round loss in the playoffs.

2007-2008: 34-48, didn’t make the playoffs.

2008-2009: 34-48, didn’t make the playoffs.

Hardly a resume to write home about. Yet, something makes Rod Thorn keep bringing him back for more. As you may have guessed, I have my theory, and you know I’m gonna share it.

This is what I think happened. During that 13-0 stretch during Frank’s first go at it, Thorn became enamored with Frank. He developed a man-crush, if you will. And maybe, just maybe, Thorn may have said or done some things that may be deemed as inappropriate.

I hear those New Jersey Nets’ Christmas parties get pretty wild. (I actually didn’t hear that, but it helps my theory). So, after every season, Thorn plans to fire Frank, but Lawrence reminds him of those wild Christmas parties. And thus, Frank keeps his job.

I think that’s the most obvious explanation I’ve ever written.

*No Guts, No Glory is a Sports Jabber contributor

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