As a Boston Red Sox fan, I can't help but have a smile on my face this morning. Waking up to reports that A-Rod used steroids with the Yankees is the perfect way to start this wonderful day (along with a nice brew from Starbucks).
I think back to 2004. What would've happened had that trade actually gone down? Manny wouldn't have launched rockets over the Monster, Papi wouldn't have played go fetch with opposing fielders, and the Yanks probably would've won three or four titles.
Instead? My Red Sox are the class of the AL, while the Yankees rot in their own pool of lucrative contracts and terrible chemistry. But they seem happy, don't they?
It's kind of like how the Blazers secretly wish they drafted Kevin Durant, but to save face they say the love the fact that they can play Greg Oden for five minutes a night before he gets into foul trouble.
All the while, they're watching Kevin Durant blossom into a superstar. Yeah, it's like that.
I find it funny how far Rodriguez has fallen. Just a few years ago, this was the guy that everyone, and I mean everyone, looked up to.
Sure, he was a jerk off the field. Jordan was a jerk off the court. But he was the best. You knew every time he had the ball in his hand, something amazing would happen.
That's how it was with A-Rod. Every time he stepped up to the plate, opposing pitchers shivered on the mound.
Then came the steroid allegations. The whole "I only used them in Texas" bit. Everyone sympathized with him.
"Oh sure, he did them, but at least he's sitting down to say he did". Fine, maybe he's a decent guy for at least sitting and admitting to his mistakes.
But then panic ensued. A-Rod played the "let me have surgery and return to my team and play my guts out when they're struggling and people aren't showing up to the games" card.
So much for that. A new report from the New York Daily News, from excerpts from Selena Roberts' book, states that A-Rod was juicing while with the Yankees, and that pretty much everyone knew. The report also states:
1. Yankee teammates had the most wonderful nickname for A-Rod that I can guarantee will be on a Red Sox shirt in the next week or so.
2. Jose Canseco thought A-Rod had been using since high school, since A-Rod could lift just as much as the King Kong-looking ball player.
3. A-Rod's high school teammates knew he was on steroids.
And probably the most disturbing fact to me:
4. A-Rod tipped the minimum 15 percent at Hooters.
So in two months of this MLB season, A-Rod has gone from hero to decent to downright zero (I had to rhyme, I'm sorry). A-Rod is making Barry Bonds look like a nice guy right about now.
How do you think Bonds feels? I'll bet you he's already putting together money to buy A-Rod one hell of a Christmas gift.
It's no secret that A-Rod has never been liked as a teammate. Just ask Michael Young of the Rangers. Ask any member of the Yankees right now, even former best friend Derek Jeter.
This just validates everything they've said about him. These past two months have brought out so many negative things about the former MVP.
He's done so many things wrong, he makes Allen Iverson look like a role model. Here are the four top things I think A-Rod's done wrong:
1. A-Rod has made the Brian Cashman the most regretful man in the world. More so than Bernie Madoff. More so than Barry Bonds. More so than Darth Vader at the end of Return of the Jedi.
-Note: I watched Return of the Jedi again last night and I think it's pretty obvious that Vader regrets joining the Dark Side at the end when Luke is getting fried by Palpatine. I mean, I know you can't see any regret on his face, but just the way the camera zooms in and the way he tilts his head. You know, you saw it too. I don't know what's more sad: the fact that I notice regret on a man wearing a full mask and no signs of facial expressions or the fact that I watched Return of the Jedi for the 14th time...
Cashman has to regret making A-Rod the highest-paid player. Did he not see how teams got better when A-Rod left? Cashman should've let A-Rod walk last summer. The Mariners got better.
The Rangers are maybe a year away from contending and have the best farm system in the league. Had Cashman let A-Rod walk and go to the Dodgers, he could've seen A-Rod ruin the lives of Manny and Joe Torre. Imagine that.
2. A-Rod has ruined the Yankees for this season. The Yankees have enough media surrounding them this season (as they do every season). This just makes their lives so much more difficult. They're sick and tired of talking about Rodriguez.
Here's another thing to think about. A-Rod ruined his friendship with one of, if not the, most respected players in baseball: Derek Jeter. Jeter is to baseball what Tim Duncan is to the NBA and Brady/Manning are to football.
People hate them (unless they're fans of the team), GM's regret every day that they didn't jump on this guy when they had the chance, yet they are full of class and are some of the nicest people in the game today.
When you ruin a friendship like that, you know there's something wrong. He's just a crappy teammate, maybe even a crappy person. Hell, he makes Manny Ramirez look like a saint.
3. Yankees fans know that Theo Epstein is the happiest man alive today, all because of their wonderful third baseman. As stated earlier, had A-Rod actually been traded to the BoSox, things would be so much different.
The Sox wouldn't have won two titles. Gotten close, sure. Just like the Yankees did. Isn't it ironic that the year the Yankees signed A-Rod, the Sox completed the biggest comeback in sports history? I think not.
Theo is jumping for joy right now. Every time a new report comes out, the Sox have a parade. By the way, how many more "A-Roid" and "A-Fraud" shirts do you think will be made now? 15,000? 20,000?
4. A-Rod only tips the minimum at Hooters. I swear, when I read this, I gasped. I was almost as shocked as I was at the end of The Departed. I mean, seriously?
This is the same guy who was seen leaving a strip club with some woman, the same guy who was getting freaky with Madonna, and he can't tip well at HOOTERS?!
Every man in America knows you tip well at Hooters. It's a law!
It's like how girls know they can't give out their phone numbers on a friend's birthday outing, or how when they go to a bar or a club, they have to give their girlfriends the "is this guy who's all up on me hot or not?!!!" eyes. It is a LAW!
With this new report, in my mind, the Yankees are done. They're already being hounded by media for the struggles of CC and Marky Mark and the fact that the new Yankee Stadium could actually be the new Coors Field.
All those questions and topics become moot. The first question out of every reporter's mouth will have something to do with No. 13.
How many Yankees will have a Kenny Rogers moment? I'll put my money on CC, Burnett, Joba, Cano, Hank Steinbrenner, and Cashman. This whole situation is kind of like when Toulour tries to steal the diamonds from Linas in Ocean's 13.
That whole mission and crew is screwed if he gets away with them. A-Rod is stealing whatever pride and focus the Yankees have this season. Too bad there's no Danny Ocean to save them.