Major League Baseball Is Lacking Something …

A recent scan of Yahoo! Sports’ baseball section shows evidence of the proverbial (and quite terrifying) dark cloud hanging over Major League Baseball. It’s been hanging over for a while now, and meteorologists don’t have the foggiest idea when it’ll leave.

Do you remember where you were or who you verbally abused when Gary Sheffield hit career home run No. 500? Not only does the obvious steroids tag permanently enter “baseball history”, but Sheffield isn’t exactly a reasonable individual.

He’s Allen Iverson in baseball form, give or take a phase(s) of corn-rows.

As for that whole steroid thing, the mainstream media needs to grasp the fact that while most fans don’t condone the use of performance enhancing drugs, they do prefer to ignore the issue when following the games.

See, baseball is entertainment and is meant to be viewed through the eyes and ears of a happy baseball child. This doesn’t mean this subset of fans doesn’t think the issue is important, but a change in the conversation would be more than appreciated.

All Sheffield hitting 500 homers means is that you, the media, will ponder what Sheffield’s entry into a nebulous space will mean.

On to Round Two of Yahoo!’s dark cloud…

Yeah, those guys.

So here’s what Major League Baseball and the mainstream media need to do: start promoting some of the good things in baseball and ease up on the negatives. The promotion of baseball is on par with the face of its organization, which is below the Mendoza Line.

The second thing that needs to happen: remove both of the men appearing in the above screen shot. Regardless of how little or how much responsibility Fehr and Selig share for the “tainted” era of baseball, they are synonymous with ineptitude.

A fresh face would liven things up around here.

YES! It’s time for a new face. It’s time for Major League Baseball and its owners to sac up and hand the keys over to one man who can fix everything…

His greatness will change the league for the better. Face it: Major League Baseball needs some Favre in it.

Apr. 21

1982—Rollie Fingers of the Milwaukee Brewers becomes the first pitcher to record 300 saves. His mustache didn’t budge during the entire duration of the record.

1990—National League umpire Bob Engel is arrested for stealing baseball cards from a Target store in his hometown of Bakersfield, California. This is a true story, and one that deserves more attention/jokes. Let’s give it a try.

Say, if Topps released a set of “umpire criminal” cards in 1991, Engel would have been a “Rated Rookie”. Also, Don West gets a boner every time he hears the story.

1996—The Chicago Bulls win an NBA record 72 games (72-8). It sure is fun to remember how dominating that team really was—Jordan, Pippen, Kukoc, Kerr, and Harper. Oh yeah, and Dennis Rodman.

John Kruk, ESPN—In between live segments, the Krukster demands his producers show reruns of Man vs. Food. Kruk loves it when the food wins.

Click here to see the entire sports “oh” face collection…