Detroit Lions Find The Secret To Winning: A New Logo (Humor)

In the aftermath of the first 0-16 season in the history of the NFL, the Detroit Lions are undergoing an overhaul. First went the coach, the general manager, and several members of the coaching staff that were soon looking for work elsewhere.

But none of the latter compare to the move made Monday that will change the Lions' fortune for good: Changing the logo.

The Lions decided to adapt a new logo to the organization that has been the laughingstock of the NFL. With it comes new uniforms and even new script for the words on the jerseys.

When asked why the Lions had not made any progress in signing the first overall pick, new General Manager Martin Mayhew had this to say:

"We felt it was not in the best interests of the Lions organization to make any moves regarding player personnel at this point. We decided to focus on more important issues."

The news broke today and had Lions players eager to start the season.

Rising star WR Calvin Johnson said he "can't wait" to get the season started now, and refused to comment on any questions regarding who would be throwing the ball to him in the fast-approaching season, citing the excitement from the new logo as his reason.

"It's tough to think about anything else right now. We are excited and ready to move forward,"

No other players were available for comment, as the situation had them drawn together in celebration.

New Head Coach Jim Schwartz said he was glad to be rid of the current logo, as the old one would remind fans of the dismal 2008 season. One reporter questioned "couldn't a successful season or a new franchise QB help the situation?", to which Schwartz interrupted and said:

"First of all, let me say this. The first step for a successful season was getting the new logo. Regarding to your second comment, getting a new logo is better than getting a new QB, because even if we have a new QB, he would not have been able to perform under the previous logo for fear of his career. I have been pushing this from the moment I was hired as head coach, and was glad to see the organization grant my wish."

The coach also dismissed any rumor of the Lions drafting a wide receiver with the first overall pick:

"Yes, some members left over from the previous organization are pushing for a receiver, but [GM] Martin and I are quite certain we are not going in that direction."

It seems, at the moment, all is well in Motown.