NCAA Tournament 2013 Bracket: Top Seeds No One Wants to Watch

This is not the kind of article you old timers want to read.

REPEAT: This not the kind of article you old timers want to read.

Why? Because it bags on fundamentals, man-to-man defense, half-court sets and free-throw shooting. In other words, everything that is boring.

In the 2013 NCAA tournament, there are plenty of top seeds who play a certain style of basketball that has the potential to win them a lot of games. But how successful a team will be in the tournament is not what this article is about.

For those of you who enjoy watching fast-paced offenses, thunderous dunks, the fast break, numerous turnovers and smooth-shooting scorers, these are the teams you should not watch in the 2013 NCAA tournament.

3. Georgetown (No. 2 Seed, South)

Beyond Otto Porter Jr. and Markel Starks, there aren't a lot of Hoyas who make you jump up and down when you watch them on offense.

And while the Hoyas rank a decent 65th in field-goal percentage, they rank 325th in field-goal attempts per contest. So you're basically waiting forever to watch Porter score, and when he doesn't, you're disappointed.

Also, Georgetown squelches other teams' offenses. The Hoyas rank third in opponents' field-goal percentage and sixth in defensive efficiency. 

I will say this: The Hoyas force turnovers (unlike Wisconsin). On the other hand, they're also sure to take care of the ball.

Don't be too crazy, guys. Do you party at a slow, cautious pace, too?

2. Wisconsin (No. 5 Seed, West)

Wisconsin ranks 211th in field-goal percentage while distributing its scoring across the roster. The Badgers also rank 90th in offensive efficiency and don't have an incredibly athletic team.

Nope, you have to watch the Badgers play that thing called "man-to-man" defense. They rank 29th in opponents' field-goal percentage (including eighth in opponents' three-point percentage) and 12th in defensive efficiency.

They also rank 12th in defensive rebounding rate, meaning put-back slams are virtually non-existent.

To make matters worse, the Badgers don't force a lot of turnovers on defense (ranked 277th in opponents' turnover rate). 

So, basically, you watch a bunch of guys who aren't that athletic play defense for 35 seconds, rebound using sound technique and slowly bring it up the floor.

Who are these guys? The San Antonio Spurs?

1. New Mexico (No. 3 Seed, West)

When compiling this list, I asked a colleague who was raving about New Mexico, "What, exactly, makes this team fun for you to watch?"

His response? "They are a balanced team."

If that's the most exciting thing about a team that you can think of, well, I believe I've already made my point.

New Mexico ranks 218th in field-goal percentage, but it ranks better in the all-important offensive efficiency. Why? Because it ranks sixth in percentage of points from free throws (more than 25 percent). If I wanted to watch somebody attempt a lot of free throws, I'd watch Dwight Howard.

Secondly, New Mexico ranks 284th in field-goal attempts per game. Again, a slow, grinding pace that makes you actually have fantasies about nails scratching a chalkboard when you're watching a basketball game.

Don't forget to print out your bracket and follow along with the live bracket. Follow all the exciting NCAA tournament action with March Madness Live.

All stats via ESPN.com and TeamRankings.com.