WrestleMania 25: What Should Have Happened

WrestleMania XXV was presented to 72,000 fans in Houston. Reliant Stadium managed to garner large sums of money for the event. I'm almost certain that millions of fans around the world paid $54.95 to watch the silver wrestling spectacle on Pay Per View.

If I hadn't worked from 5-10 p.m. yesterday at the Cinemark Theater, I would have happily plopped down in front of my TV set and ordered the event from my satellite TV service. And so...

I was fortunate enough to not be able to watch it.

Apparently, the "25th Anniversary" of WrestleMania lacked the WrestleMania feel. Fans who watched it all felt like they were robbed of every penny they spent on seats or pay-per-view. If I were one of them, I would agree given the results.

With the exception of a few matches, the wrestling event known as WrestleMania XXV failed to live up to expectations.

Weeks of excitement, hype, and exhilarating tensions between superstars led to the biggest letdown that any wrestling pay-per-view has given us in the past year. In the end, I'm glad I didn't watch it.

I would have made it better.

There are WWE matches I personally believe would have been great matches if they were run correctly. The WWE, of course, has lost its touch, and is very inconsistent with good writing and booking.

Thus, I'm going to make sure that they don't become that stupid ever again. It's time for me...and only me...to decide who pro wrestling should really be. Let's get it started, folks.

Dark Match: Tag Team Title Unification Lumberjack Match

What Happened:

Carlito and Primo Colon defeated John Morrison and the Miz to become the second Undisputed tag team champions in WWE history (If I'm right). It was the dark match, and preceded the WrestleMania card.

What Should Have Happened:

Two things should have happened. First of all, the match should have been on the card to begin with. It was a decent premise, and although the buildup seemed minimal, it was a fitting match to show on the Pay-Per-View.

Why take away such a monumental moment from the fans? It was the unification of the tag team titles to solve the tag team division problem.

Second of all, Miz and Morrison should have won. I'm alright with the Colon Brothers being tag team champions, but in the end, Miz and Morrison had a good reign going on with them.

They were very over with the fans, and their heelish ways would have been blown to new heights with a unified tag team title. Good job, WWE, Good job.

You just screwed over your most popular tag team.

What I Would Have Done:

I would have killed the whole thing. First of all, a unified tag team division messes up the point of brand extension. In my most recent article, I pointed out that only ones to blame for the bad tag team division was the WWE. They failed to forsee a problem with pushing singles wrestlers while seldom adding tag teams.

When they had an abundance of duos to push, they apparently believed they weren't over enough (Which is preposterous and ridiculous to me). The WWE really needs to try actually pushing teams and wrestlers so these problems don't arise. In the end, two tag team title matches would have been nice.

I would have put Miz and Morrison against Cryme Tyme, the most popular tag team without a championship reign to their names. Shad and JTG could have used the feud to become the company's top tag team, and thus, I would have extended it by having Miz and Morrison keep the straps.

They'd drop it at Backlash, though, and Cryme Tyme would have some bling to show off.

For the Colon Brothers, I would have let them have a feud with Brian Kendrick and Ezekiel Jackson. The WWE never really seems to understand that some people grow stale because they put them on the shelf and forget to go back and take them out.

The two would desperately need a tag team push. I would have a coin toss on the issue, and see what happens with the result.

The Money in the Bank Ladder Match

What Happened:

CM Punk became the first man to win the Money in the Bank ladder match itself more than once. He's also the first man to win the match in consecutive years.

What Should Have Happened:

CM Punk probably shouldn't have won. The feat that he accomplished is worth applauding. He won the match for two years in a row. I have to admit, that's something awesome...for him.

The WWE creative team didn't notice the other potential superstars in the running for the briefcase. Christian was coming off a strong comeback to ECW, and almost came away with the ECW championship.

Winning the briefcase would have given him a great start. MVP was also having great momentum as U.S. champion. With the Money in the Bank briefcase, he'd be on his way to the Main Event scene in no time.

Shelton Benjamin, while lacking some essentials to world champion material, would have put his act together if he were awarded the case.

His in-ring skills are phenomenal, and by word of mouth, he apparently lights it up in these matches. He was also the most experienced. It would have been fitting to give him this case.

Hell, I could make a case for Kingston, Henry, Kane, and freaking Finlay! CM Punk is underrated, and he deserves attention. If he were to win King of the Ring, I'd be cool with that though.

Winning the 2010 Royal Rumble would earn him full respect and admiration everywhere. In the end, he got something he deserved, but didn't need to get again.

What I Would Have Done:

I would have given this to MVP. His Main Event push was long overdue. The WWE became paranoid, and gave him a losing streak when he decided what he wanted to do with his life. Still, at least he has respect now.

25 Diva Battle Royal

What Happened:

Santino Marella's cousin from Italy, Santina Marella, became Ms. WrestleMania without even touching a single diva. An...interesting first.

What Should Have Happened:

Anything but that. Santino Marella is one of my favorites because he's a funny guy. I'm hoping he'd win another title just so he can be comedic about it. I...don't want him to pull a Vito on us though.

My little brother's going to have nightmares now.

What I Would Have Done:

I know that the Diva Battle Royal is not the best idea. Some would have been more suited to something different. A title match, a unification match, or a Playboy girl match would have sufficed.

I beg to differ, though.

The wrestling, from what I heard, was horrendous. Still, it's a good idea. It shows some emphasis on the Diva's division.

Just imagine if a diva needed a push to the women's title of their division, but nothing was in sight for them? Well, there's a 25 Diva battle royal. There you go!

I would have given Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, Melina, Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, or hell, even a future star like Rosa Mendez, this battle royal win. It would have helped them in the long run.

Ultimately, Mickie James needed some love. And still does. She won't get it now. Everyone's too busy going gaga over Santina.

Jericho vs. Legends Handicap Match

What Happened:

Chris Jericho defeated Ricky Steamboat, Jimmy Snuka, and Roddy Piper in a 3-on-1 Handicap match. Afterwards, he called out Mickey Rourke, who in turn punched his lights out.

Apparently, Ric Flair did...something.

What Should Have Happened:

In the end, this was acceptable. Y2J wasn't getting a title shot, and should have gotten better. Even a match with Batista would have kept him in the title picture.

Still, this was a good match on the part of Jericho and Ricky Steamboat. I love me some Steamboat (In a non-sexual way, thank you very much), and it was nice to hear he still got it after all these years. So, I'm cool with it.

What I Would Have Done:

There is some beef. If I were to book this Y2J vs. WWE Hall of Famers match, I would have had Flair and Rourke cost Chris Jericho the match. I was only right.

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy Extreme Rules Match

What Happened:

Matt Hardy bested his brother Jeff in a match for merely pride and glory. After a twist of fate on a chair, the older brother got out of his brother's shadow for a night...by defeating him.

What Should Have Happened:

Again, there's no beef with this, man. Actually, I like where this is going. Jeff already won a match to my knowledge, and this feud is for Matt's gain. A win on the grandest stage of them all is good way to push him into the Main Event. Everything that should have happened...happened.

Rey Mysterio vs. JBL for the Intercontinental Championship

What Happened:

In a record of 21 seconds, Rey Mysterio defeated the Texas Loudmouth JBL to become a triple crown champion (Wow, three Triple Crown champs in a row; Are they trying to help wrestlers accomplish huge feats, or what?) History was made at WrestleMania; JBL quit on the spot, signaling a retirement in real life.

What Should Have Happened:

A longer match. Rey Mysterio winning the Intercontinental title was well-deserved, but really? 21 seconds? C'mon, folks. It should have been a flash pin victory that frustrated JBL into retirement...not this crap.

What I Would Have Done:

Consider this to be the second complete snip from the card. I would have put Rey in the Money in the Bank match, and JBL would be somewhere, once I find out where he belongs. In the end, two wrestlers would have put on a great match in Houston

Those men would have been CM Punk and William Regal.

CM Punk's Intercontinental title reign was too short. He came off a nice feud with William Regal to win the title. Instead of losing to JBL, he should have just continued a title defense against Will.

After the Royal Rumble, both Punk and Regal lose their elimination chamber qualification matches. Both decide to make up for it by facing each other in a rematch. CM Punk retains, to the delight of ROH marks everywhere (LOL, take that as a joke, guys). Regal is still steaming.

Then, in the coming weeks, Regal wants a rematch. This time, he wants to take Punk out like he did in the King of the Ring Finals; with a submission move. Punk responds by taking him down. He makes him tap out with an anaconda vice.

I think he wants a submission match, too.

At WrestleMania XXV, two men whose skills gel like...gel...put on a great match. The first IC title match since whatever WrestleMania before this is a success, with either another Punk win, or Regal regaining his lost gold. Either way, I'd want the win clean.

The Undertaker vs Shawn Michaels

What Happened:

Everything that should have happened. I'd be crazy to change anything from this match. Both Michaels and Taker gave it their all, as expected, and we know they went beyond our imagination.

Good job to you two. You did a hell of a job.

John Cena vs. Edge vs. Big Show

What Happened:

John Cena displayed Herculean strength by lifting both Edge and the Big Show on his shoulders for an FU...I mean, Attitude Adjuster (Stupid PG rating). Eventually, he only got the Big Show, but managed to take out Edge as well. He regained the title he lost at No Way Out.

What Should Have Happened:

Alright...alright...this is OK. I personally like Cena, as he's the face of the company, draws in business, and has the essential tools to be a world champion. I know he doesn't have the best skills, but neither did Hogan or some other guys. On top of that, he doesn't have a huge ego like Triple H or Hulk Hogan in his heyday.

What I Would Have Done:

I would have scrapped this two. Big Show's presence was ridiculous in my eyes. Edge's world title reign was stupidly booked, as it was only used as means to shock the fans. Cena should have won at No Way Out so we wouldn't have to deal with this crap.

John Cena wins a lackluster Elimination Chamber match at No Way Out. He makes Chris Jericho tap out to the STFU in order to win. He's practically unchallenged.

Then, out of the blue..."I hear voices in my head..."

Randy Orton come out, and he's hungry. He just punted McMahon in the freaking head, and he did the same to Shane. He's ready to kill everybody, folks!

He tells John Cena that his days as the face of the WWE are numbered. Soon, he will take his rightful place as World Heavyweight champion. No one will stop him.

Cena does some stuff, blah, blah, blah. Poop joke, blah, blah, blah. Orton and Cena have a face-off, and Stephanie McMahon, clearly siding with Cena, makes the match official. Orton vs. Cena, WrestleMania 25.

After weeks of back and forth conflict, Cena seems outnumbered. Fortunately, Cryme Tyme saves him from a beat-down courtesy of Legacy members DiBiase and Rhodes. Cryme Tyme Cenation is a full-blown stable now.

The fighting continues, but eventually, Cena's in a hot spot. To make things safe, a treacherous Stephanie McMahon reveals she was in cahoots with Orton.

She wanted power, and got it with her dad and brother out of the picture. "And Cryme Tyme is banned from ringside. Good luck at WrestleMania, Mr. Cena."

She decides that it becomes official on the last Raw before WrestleMania. Cena's put in a 3-on-1 handicap match, loses, then gets a bloody beatdown from Orton. The psychotic challenger holds on the punt, though. He'll save that for Sunday.

Sunday arrives. Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes are at ringside with Orton. Stephanie McMahon is cockily sitting at ringside as well. Then..."Here Comes the Money"

Shane O'Mac is back, and dancing better than before. "Hey, Steph," He says. "You and I are at odds, now. Oh, and bye-bye, Legacy. This is between Orton and Cena."

So, the match ensues. Orton and Cena go back and forth, back and forth, back-and-forth. Eventually, Orton gains an upper hand when he runs Cena into an exposed turnbuckle.

He's about to hit the punt to the head when Vince McMahon comes in. He's pissed, Randy. Run, Randy, run! Oh, too late. You got hit in the head.

With a chair. It hurts, doesn't it? Well, you know what they say, Randy.

Payback's a bitch.

Cena F—I mean, Attitude Adjusts-Randy Orton. 1-2-3, Cena wins. It's like WM 17, but Vince is a face this time around.

And don't worry; the age of Orton would have begun at Backlash 2009. Too bad I didn't do it that though, huh? And before you bash me: The WWE didn't either.

Triple H vs. Randy Orton WWE Championship

What Happened:

Triple H defeated Randy Orton in a 25 minute match. His win came when he pedigreed the Legend Killer, and retained the McMahon Family's "Coat of Arms." Randy Orton's loss makes it the second consecutive year that the Royal Rumble winner did not win his championship match.

What Should Have Happened:

The winner wouldn't have mattered to me in this case. Either way, Orton will get that championship, like it or not. It's his destiny. Still, the match he was in did him no justice. He was beaten by Triple H, who has the backing of his wife Stephanie.

The No-DQ match would have sufficed. On top of that, Orton should have been made more dominant. Perhaps a run-in from the Legacy would have been good. It would at least show Orton is a traditional heel.

In the end, this match should have just been more exciting.

What I Would Have Done:

Assuming I'd have to book this specific match, I'd say...as a risk...let Orton win! It would sort of bring a bitter end to Triple H's quest for revenge, but at the same time, he could always cost him the title by winning his rematch, or having him lose the strap to another wrestler.

Randy Orton's momentum was substantial. It was gargantuan. It-was-phenomenal.

There's no way that Randy Orton should have lost in such a decisive manner. He's the future big heel of the company, and deserved to get his dues. Triple H, while still in his prime, will be waning soon. He needs to push the ego aside and push younger talents.

His time is over, or should be soon. Randy Orton's time should at come on the grandest stage of them all.

In Conclusion...

In conclusion, WrestleMania XXV was a big disappointment. I wasn't even a mile away from a TV, and I knew that it was lackluster from what I saw on the computer. Even the worst WrestleManias were WrestleMania-caliber.

This, on the other hand, was a WWE Pay-Per-View with a bigger budget. It's like the Resident Evil Movies. Can be entertaining, but it's not Resident Evil, dammit...oh, sorry.

Anyway, that's all I have to say. My back's hurting. I have Pre-Calculus to do. And on top of that, North Carolina's playing Michigan State now. Peace out.