Bullets Over The Brady Ball: Tom Brady's Boys Fire Away

If you thought it was dangerous to get near Tom Brady on a football field just try getting near him at his wedding.

At his exotic Costa Rica wedding to the Brazillian bombshell Giselle Bundchen bullets flew when two photographers tried to snap some shots of the nupitals. The photo dogs said they had permission from a neighbor to snap shots from three hundred yards away.

The Brady Bodyguards disagreed, disagreed rather violently it seems, and roughed up the pair of photo men. The photographers were then surrounded and threatened by black suited ninja like bodyguards.

The charming Brady wedding party then approached the men and began berating and threatening them. When they ran, according to the NY Post, the Brady Best Man pulled a .38 and blasted some bullets through their jeep windows.

In the rear view, out the front windshield, right between their heads. Apparantly unlike Plaxico Burress when the Brady boys pull their hog legs they do not shot themselves in the thighs. 

Brady was not with his angry bodyguards or wedding party best man mad man. He was, and who can blame him, enjoying his Brazilian bride on their wedding night.

No word if the ninja bodyguards were a gift from Roger Goodell to keep his prized Prince healthy and wealthy on and off the field.

But if unconfirmed reports are true that the black suited bodyguards were wearing bodyguard gear licensed by the NFL and available exclusively on the NFL Network or if Blackwater appears on team logos as the offcial Bodyguards of the NFL at halftime next year that is a dead give away.

Buy your own NFL Glock with your favorite teams logo and a favorite player's autograph for only five thousand dollars and a twenty five thousand dollar PSL deposit.

After all with the face of the franchise, perhaps the face of the NFL, one can never be too safe. Goodell and New England Patriot sending armed bodyguards with their prized investment is a good thing for the league in the long run.

Its even rumored that Goodell is even considering allowing armed guards in the backfield to protect quarterbacks next year.

Fearing that 15 yard penalties or ten thousand dollar fines will not stop angry defensive ends from touching The Untouchables, the quarterbacks, Goodell is considering the knee cap rule.

That is if a defender ignores the warning shot fired by the black outfitted guards surronding the quarterback on the field he shall be knee capped.

That is shot in the knee by one of the on field bodyguards. Goodell figures defensive ends and linebackers are fairly cheap and interchangeable but each team only has one franchise face.

And what's another old linebacker with a bad limp anyway? At least he'll be able to tell the Grand Kids better story then some Guard chop blocking him and blowing out his knee.

No the old linebacker could roll up his leg and show the gap mouthed kid his bullet scarred knee and say "Son I got that for tackling Tom Brady too low"

If the defender roughs the QB. BAM! BAM! BAM! Kind of puts a damper on those silly sack dances?

After the first three or four knee cappings on the forty yard line even the most dense defender will learn not to come at the Quarterback King hard.

A bit harsh perhaps but the Irish Republican Army used to maintain order that way and, after a while, players do get the message.

Anything to protect the product. A quaterback is a big investment so its a small price to surround him with a few armed Contractors with orders to protect him at any cost.

But back to that wild Costa Rican wedding.

At how many weddings does the Best Man pack heat? What did Whitey Bulger, an old Patriot fan, stand as best man? 

Or did the entire party pull pistols and fire them at the setting sun while drinking strong shots of hard whiskey? An old school Central American Strongman wedding.

Or maybe the entire party fired off AK-47's like some happy desert tribes do when they marry a lucky pair off.

Who really knows? Costa Rica has always been good at keeping secrets.

They will not ven reveal who the trigger happy, wild west best man was.

Just think how juicy the story will be if the shooter turns out to be Plaxico Burress. Or even Randy Moss.

Or an enraged rum drunk best man, Bill Belichick finally having a chance to settle some SpyGate scores with the sneaky press.

The NY Post said the cash poor Brady's had an exclusive contract with a Brazilian paper ensuring that they, and only they, would obtain the rights of the prized wedding pictures.

Hey times are tough and the Brady's must need a few bucks. And what's the blood of a pair of photographers worth in Latin America these days?

Its Latin America after all cash is king and photo men come cheap.

After all its not like there is many pictures of the pretty pair out there, likely only a few dozen less then the million or so existing of the Manning family in the media.

Good luck crashing the honeymoon adventure seeking lens men.

Best come heavy.

The NYPost story and pictures of the bullet ravaged car are below

http://www.nypost.com/seven/04062009/news/nationalnews/pow_pow_at_gisele_vows_163138.htm