Left Turn Louie: Blind Squirrel Finds Nut? Jeff Gordon WINS!

Oh Wow! I know some Texans are really p.o’ed now!

Not only did a “furnuh” (Foreigner) perform as a part of the pre-race entertainment, but another “furnuh” won the durned (”darned” in Texas) Sprint Cup race at Texas Motor Speedway.

Jeff Gordon…born in California, raised (I almost said “reared”, but since he was “on the pole,” I chose “raised” to be safe) in Indiana, and lives in God’s Country—aka North Carolina—in Texas he’s a “furnuh”.

But enough about Jeff’s “furnuh” heritage. I’m here to talk about his winning a race for a change.

Think about it—12,960 hours—that’s how long it had been since he’d last won a race. I mean…even Flava Flav (ugliest man in this and the three nearest galaxies) had somehow gotten laid (twice) since Gordon had last won a race.

How did he do it? I’m referring to Gordon, not Flava Flav who we know bought it…twice. Here’s a hint…

“I would say 90 percent of the tracks we go to, I have a pretty good idea of what I need to do in the car and what I need to do as a driver to get around that track and be fast. I think that’s what’s helped contribute to our success,” Gordon said.

There ya go! Jeff finally figured it out.

That is, the road to winning a race involves going around the track (always turning left, of course) and going fast.

EUREKA! I think Jeff just may be finally figuring this racing stuff out. Although I think that the bigger factor in his winning at Texas was his firing of Matt Millen.

OK...So you say he didn’t fire Matt Millen. I say, look at the tapes of the race and tell me that you see Matt Millen anywhere. I rest my case.

Props to Jeff. He’s really a fine racer, Sprint Cup points leader and all. I don’t really think he’s a “blind squirrel,” but a nut is nut, regardless of how you get it.

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