An Interview With Plaxico Burress (Humor)

After being cut by the New York Giants earlier today I knew I had to catch Plaxico Burress and get an exclusive B/R interview with him.

And I was lucky enough not to miss him like a pass to Braylon Edwards.

In the interview I'll label myself with an SC and Plaxico with Plax.

Enjoy!

SC: Plaxico, how's it going brother?

Plax: It's going good.

SC: Really? I thought you would be down after being cut by the Giants and looking at jail time.

Plax: Nah man. After the Giants cut me it meant that someone else can pick me up for more money. I felt I was being underpaid for all my talent in New York anyway.

SC: More than 5 years at 35 million?

Plax: Do you watch football? Their are always teams looking for a receiver of my caliber. Haha. Wait their is no one of my caliber,l I'm the best. Al Davis, Dan Snyder, or Jerry Jones are all sure to offer me some cash.

SC: So you would be willing to go 4-12 just to make an extra 10 million?

Plax: Oh come on don't tell me you don't think me and Jamarcus Russell could make an awesome combination. Ha, I could make an awesome combination with Ryan Leaf.

(At this time I see a gun showing out of Plaxico's pocket.)

SC: Plaxico you are still carrying guns?

Plax: Wait what?

(He sees his gun is showing and hides it away)

Plax: Sorry man, don't worry though I got the safety on. No shootings will happen today.

SC: Well that's good, do you have a license for it yet?

Plax: Man, half the people in the NFL don't have gun licenses.

SC: And they go to jail for it. Just like you.

Plax: Well it's dumb. You know me. Let's say Randy Moss decides one day he wants to knock off the top receiver in the NFL. He puts a hit on me. These guys come on me and I ain't got no gun. Then I'm dead, and you don't get to watch me put on a show on Sundays.

SC: Ahh I see. Tragic. Let's talk about this court case. You ready to go to jail?

Plax: Well, we'll leave that up to my agent and attorney. I don't deal with that stuff. I play football. They make the deals, I do the work. It can't pass until it goes to me. Kinda like a throw from Eli. 

SC: I understand you don't deal with that stuff, but have you heard any stories about jail? Talk to Vick?

Plax: All I know is I did nothing wrong. I didn't kill anyone and I didn't even shoot anyone.

SC: Well technically, you did shoot someone. His name is your upper thigh.

Plax: No comment,

SC: Alright well it is about time we wrap this up but I have one last thing. I came up with a touchdown celebration for you next time your on the field. Hold the ball against your side, pretend to take it out and the drop the ball and grab your thigh. How could it go wrong?

Plax: Once again I got no comment.

I thank Plaxico Burress for taking part in this interview and I wish him the best of luck.