Hornets Sign Chris Webber and Karl Malone To Two 10-Day Contracts (Satire)

Sources inside the New Orleans Hornets who spoke on the condition of anonymity have disclosed that the wounded Hornets signed retired former all-star forwards Chris Webber and Karl Malone to two 10-day contracts.

The value of the contracts was not disclosed. Neither player will join the team for tonight's contest with the L.A. Clippers.

Webber sees the Hornets as his best chance to win an NBA championship. In spite of his talent, Webber has never played for a championship.  The closest he came to a title was in 2002, when the Lakers defeated the Kings in the Western Conference Finals in seven games.

Injury plagued and seemingly always on the wrong side of luck, Webber has been considered by some to be "cursed," and his inability to win the big games was prevalent since his final game at Michigan.

However, Webber always put up big numbers averaging 20.7 points, 9.8 rebounds, and 4.2 assists for his career.  Webber's soft hands and natural court sense made him one of the most prolific big-man passers in NBA history. 

Malone is itching to win a ring as well.  Additionally, due to the recent economic downturn, the chain of new car dealerships that Malone owns are reportedly in severe financial distress.  Sources say that Malone and his family are falling on financial hard-times and need the money to keep the dealerships afloat.

Malone is regarded as one of the best power forwards in the history of the NBA. He earned two regular-season MVP Awards, 11 NBA First Team nominations and was also selected to the NBA All-Defensive Team three times.

He scored 36,928 points , second best all-time, on a career .516 shooting percentage. 

Hopefully the two have enough gas in their tanks to get the Hornets deep into the playoffs.

By the way, April Fools!