Major League Baseball's Next Big Dick

Rick Ankiel has been through a lot in his career.  First he had the whole “I literally have no idea where my 95 mph fastball is headed” phase, which ultimately drove him from a promising career as a Major League starter back to the low level minors.  Then right as his improbable trip back to the big leagues as an outfielder was at its peak nationally, word broke that he had used HGH earlier in his career.

With more adversity than the average ballplayer, it’s no surprise that perhaps Rick has developed a few quirks.  The latest quirk was on display in Derrick Goold’s story on STLToday.com, where Ankiel revealed his desire to amend his first name:

Ankiel has been preoccupied recently about when it is age appropriate for him to shorten his given name, Richard, to “Dick” instead of “Rick.” Some friends and clubhouse denizens have already taken to calling him “Dick” this spring. He calls it an instant “ice-breaker.”

So either Rick Ankiel is goofing around with the media during spring training about his new “ice-breaker” or he really wants people to call him Dick.  After reading his quote immediately following the revelation about his name, we’re leaning towards the goofing around angle.

“I would like to be the total package as a player,”

Dick Ankiel - The Total Package.  That’s a wall poster waiting to happen.

April 1

1938 - The Baseball Hall of Fame opens in Cooperstown, NY.  Not nearly as cool as the Mustache Hall of Fame, but it’s probably second best.

1972 - The Major League Baseball Players Union stages their first collective strike.  There have been seven additional strikes since then, with the most recent occurring in 1994.  Now you’re ready for your daily “impress your co-workers with a useless piece of sports knowledge.”

1991 - Dwight Gooden signs a $5.15 million, three year contract with the New York Mets.  Unofficial studies have shown that 65.9 percent of that money was used to buy drugs and hookers.

1992 - Coincidentally, the NHL Players Association began their first strike in their 75-year history.  Popular day to strike - which is funny since it’s April Fools Day.  They probably thought the declaration to cease work was a joke.

Tim Kurkjian, ESPN - 51 weeks of the year, Tim Kurkijan avoids temptation.  But the week before baseball season starts, he lets down his guard at least five times a day.  Crew members in Bristol refer to this week as Kurkijan’s “Happy Time”.

Click here for the entire sports “oh” face collection…

Julie stops in to honor two announcers who decided to leave the Orioles spring training game during a rain delay. Lazy asses.

Dan Wetzel takes column M.V.P. honors for his outstanding use of headlines and column titles in the Media Circus.