Buell's Eye: April Fool's Edition of "This Week in Sports"

This Week in Sports

April Fool’s Edition

         April’s arrival signals the start of 3 infamous occurrences: rain showers, the Final Four, and the best time in all of sports, “drug testing”.

            Err—I mean— “baseball season”.

            With this being such an important time during sports’ yearly calendar and with the newspaper headlines being as lively as ever, now is the perfect time to make some bold predictions:

            For starters, the regular College Basketball season was both unpredictable and downright crazy. While no team single- handily became the team to beat, this only means that the NCAA Tournament will be filled with upsets and “Cinderellas” going deep into the tournament.

            All four #1 seeds will bow out early, and lower seeds such as the Virginia Commonwealth’s, the Siena’s, and the Portland State’s will be dancing long into the night with their newly acquired glass slippers. There is absolutely no way that the Final Four will be loaded with top-seeded teams, led by experienced coaches going head-to-head in the final 3 games.

            April Fools…

            In speaking of dominant College Basketball teams, the Memphis Tigers have been one of the few consistent teams at the top of the helm in recent years. They play in a conference that guarantees them 30+ wins each season, and head coach John Calipari knows how rare and privileged his position is with this team.

            Who is really listening to these rumors that the open coaching vacancy at the University of Kentucky is tempting Calipari?

            Kentucky is undergoing their rebuilding process and Memphis is already there. Mr. Calipari is not going anywhere.

            April Fools…

            This season for Major League Baseball shall be known as “The Year of the Injury”. What a surprise it is that as the “Steroid Era” slowly lifts its gloomy gray fog off of the baseball diamond, deteriorating bodies of once heralded and celebrated players are unveiled.

            Future Hall of Fame-rs and 20 year veterans are being released, 10-time Gold- Glove-rs are fighting for Minor League contracts, and Alex Rodriguez said he’s sorry, so now you’re supposed to love him again, just as soon as all of these suddenly-appearing, pesky injuries quit plaguing him.

            However, with these new developments kicking off the 2009 season, it is obvious that it has leveled the playing field and new teams will rise out of the shadows.

            Your Division Winners: the Baltimore Orioles, the Kansas City Royals, and the Texas Rangers in the American League.

            In the National League: the Washington Nationals, the Pittsburgh Pirates, and the San Diego Padres.

            The Wild Card goes to both the Seattle Mariners and the Cincinnati Reds.

            The World Series lasts all 7 games, with the Pittsburgh Pirates defeating the Texas Rangers as former Ranger, A-Rod, receives the World Series MVP for his unprecedented, strenuous activity of making an apology.

 April Fools!