Allow Me to Introduce Myself: I'm the Bench Bouncer

In honor of the ongoing NCAA Tournament, we are pleased to reintroduce you to one of our favorite characters of March, who first graced the pages of JSF one year ago today.

You’ve seen the scenario hundreds of times—star player hits a big three-pointer to give a team the lead late in the game.

Everyone goes wild on the bench and you’re wondering to yourself, “how in the world do they have such discipline to not run onto the court?”

I’m the reason.

Allow me to introduce myself—whenever the bench is going crazy in a basketball game, I’m the guy who makes sure to hold all of his teammates back.

I know it doesn’t sound like much to you, but that’s because you have no idea what it takes to be successful in Division I college basketball.

You probably think that just anyone can do what I do. Don’t fool yourself. I may not score any points, grab any rebounds, or play any minutes in the actual game, but I’m the real key to victory.

Without me we’d have chaos.

Pretty much every player on that bench would be charging onto the court after a big play, then the fans would follow and all hell would break loose.

That’s like 10 technical fouls with two free-throws for each.

Do the math. Without me, we get creamed.

You’re probably one of the naïve bastards who think that a college basketball player won’t run onto the court if someone isn’t there to hold him back. I used to think that too.

I still remember the day like it was yesterday—we had just hit a huge shot to take the lead with 30 seconds left and, with no one holding out their arms to get us to back up, one of the freshman stormed onto the court to high-five the shooter while the game was still going on.

He slammed into the ref, got a technical foul, and suddenly we waived bye-bye to the momentum.

Right then, I knew this team needed me.

And I do way more than just holding everyone back.

I have all kinds of other responsibilities, like running onto the court and jumping into my teammates after a timeout or throwing towels to the starters when they come to the bench.

I don’t like to brag about it, but I also happen to be the guy who organizes the arm locks during tense games.

Coach knows how valuable I am. Sure, he could put me into the game, but then he’s has to trust an assistant coach, or worse, a scholarship player to do my job.

Those guys don’t understand the intricacies involved with encouraging your teammates while policing them at the same time. It’s a thin line.

It’s taken four years of painstaking work for me to earn this role.

I came to this team as a clueless walk-on who didn’t have a prayer of seeing any game action.

After busting my ass in practice every day since then, I’m still a walk-on who doesn’t have a prayer of seeing game action…but who also controls the fate of the team with the right and left arms.

You have no idea how much time I’ve put in the weight room building up my triceps.

These things are like rocks. Seriously, I dare you to try and run through the wall I set up.

Not one sneaker is crossing that sideline if I have anything to say about it.

I see these young kids come onto the team and they have no idea the kind of discipline it takes to cheer and go wild, yet also to remain focused no matter how insane my teammates are going.

There are some nights when it just seems like the line that separates the bench from the court is just so close that we’re not going to have any room to celebrate when we hit a big bucket.

But that’s just when I’ve got to take my game to another level and make sure everyone is waving towels and jumping up and down while keeping my eyes zeroed in on the white paint of the sideline.

As stressful as it is, it’s even more rewarding the minute you hear that whistle blow for a timeout and you get to release the mob of players onto the court.

There’s just nothing better than that feeling.

Except maybe playing.